My opinion on the whole no enemy icons thing is that it could work in an FSO type setting, putting more emphasis on teamwork to locate/identify/destroy targets. I would definitely favor that as I have full faith in my squad.
However, such a thing would definitely give a big advantage to those with bigger screens and/or VR/stereo equipment. This is IMO the biggest minus to the idea in an FSO setting (don't even mention MA, where you can't IFF based on plane type), but I think the extra immersion would outweigh this detraction.
And while it's true that you could make the same argument that some guys don't have TrackIR (I don't), rudder pedals (I don't), HOTAS setups (I don't), or even joysticks, I feel it's more fundamental and also more expensive to get better graphics compared to better controls. A decent twisty stick costs what? Fifty bucks or so? Personally I put my mouse in my left hand and use the scroll wheel as a throttle and the X-Y mouse axes for mouse-look. It's close enough to HOTAS + TrackIR enough for me at this stage (although I'd still prefer to have a rudder set) and pretty cheap to boot! Total cost... $50 ish for a stick, $20 for a scroll mouse (which you probably already have).
Compare that to a VR set or a big screen monitor... that could run anywhere from $200 up to several thousand. These two things (monitor/VR vs joystick) are not in the same league.
Edit: and keep friendly icons. In real life, pilots would have unique paint jobs to be able to identify within the squad... and since you are around the same guys all the time, you'd learn to pick out the who's who. As is, we tend to keep one squad dressed out in the same skin.