FWIW, you can shoot +P out of most modern 9mm's, if you're concerned about penetration, etc.
Whatever pistol you feel comfortable with and is reliable, that's your carry weapon. I've heard good things about the XDm. If I could, I'd get one myself.
For me, I carry a S&W 5906, with 124gr +P Gold Dots. It weighs a bit more then a polymer weapon, but I'm very comfortable shooting it, and accurate with double taps.
I've shot a 9mm Glock, and it felt very 'snappy' to me -- I didn't like it as it was too light. I liked the HK USP 45 -- it was very smooth, accurate, and easy to double tap.
I used to carry my S&W 1006, but it was hard to walk around comfortably with a full frame pistol.
I carry IWB.
A full size weapon I really, really liked was the FNP-45 USG. Full size, so not easy for IWB carry, but OWB would be great.
--just saw that you are going to open carry, and that you're a big dude. Lots of choices in full frames out there. If you haven't already, check out that FNP-45 USG.
mir