outside the box?
ok.
here's a few pics of someone i know a lot of you have seen, and she has been acknowledged as one of the most beautiful women ever to grace a camera.
wonder what wonderboy will find wrong with her.
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the above are all of her from way back before some of us were even born.
here's one from shortly before she passed. at 80, the woman was still beautiful.
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Ok, just to clear things up; I am
NOT a photographer, and I am a
male individual of the species
homo sapiensOk, now with that out of the way, let's tear these suckers apart. (NOTE: read this in a high pitched, gay guy voice if you want it to be funny, but that's not my voice!)
In chronological order:
CAP1, Picture 1: Eww, do you see that spill over?
It looks like she has 3 and a half boobs! She should get a bra that fits. Flyaway hair also makes it look quite cheap- along with the plastic/metal flower. She isn't going either way with the clevage, making her different sized boobs even more different Oh, don't even get me started on her bangs, can you say weirdo?
Good bra, nice tan, good make-up.
2 out of 5 for weird chest, lack of hair control, and a poor bra fit.
CAP1, Picture 2:
Better than before, but the eyes look like they came from a vampire. The expression is fake and when I look at it for 7-8 seconds, I get the willies, like the kind I get from watching Chuckie. Again, the hair is frizzy and it's easy to differentiate the bra from the skin.
She looks like she has half a brain in this shot, and oh my, what a smile.
Sadly 2 out of five for creepy face and bad hair.
CAP1, Picture 3: Aiiiiie! That one's just frikkin scary! Her boobs look like someone put De Volaie in her shirt, and her face is just too strange. She also looks like a genuine Grade-A hick-town idiot! What with that all over plaid, and old lady style underwear.
But, she has a good pose and has an OK chest (weird boob shape and position)
1 out of 5 man, she looked as smart as a pig and just as pretty.
CAP1, Picture 4: Her face, is just bizzare; she's making the coochy-poo lips but the rest of her face is intense. The bra makes her boobs look like ice-cream cones, and her panties/miniskirt (which are they?) are making her lovehandles spill out. Suspended pantihose? A poorly calculated touch. I wouldn't even wish those shoes on my worst enemy, there's no room for her toes or the balls of her feet. She's also starting to look manly in the face and arms.
Good sized chest, clevage is spot on, and miles of undisputed leg gain her some points.
2 out of 5 Show me something that isn't trying to 'get some'
CAP1, Picture 5: Manlady alert! Manlady alert! Everybody take cover! Not to get nasty, but she, is ripped. She has huge muscles and a Neaderthals face. Has she been working out or some thing? Again, freaky hair, and an even freakier bra (it looks sharp, I wouldn't want to touch them!). A weird pro-wrestler belt is around her hips holding up her pantihose, again. This girl is such a hardcore wannabe, where does she get the idea? Her hair appears to have been carved out of a solid polyurethane block, and it looks like she's about to get hit by the train that the light is coming from.
But, again, she has a nice chest and miles of leg.
1 out of 5 This picture was terrible, dark, dismal and not at all arousing.
Alright Plawranc, now you get yours.
Ms. Emily Scott? More like a drunk Hannah Montana at a strip club. The boobs are just hanging out, flapping uselessly in the wind, and for all of the photoshop power in the world, you can still see where she shaved her armpit hair, last week! The chest seems very close, but the midriff and hips are quite far away. It seems to me that the camera had a bad case of fish eye. She looks annoyed, too, as if she is saying "Just take the picture and stop staring at me!"
Nice clothes, kinda freaky but hey, to each his own
. Great hair, and a beautiful body (below the monsters that have their own ZIP code and take up the shot). The hair is a bit sparse, but she makes it work well, and a good job on the lipstick is nice.
3 out of 5 for the cliche Hollywood style and a chest that can only be described as overstuffed (seriously, when they filled the silicone bags, what did they use? A firehose?)
-Penguin
