« previous next »
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6 ... 8   Go Down

Author Topic: Norris'ism  (Read 6561 times)

Offline BMathis

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4830
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #30 on: July 27, 2010, 05:17:03 PM »


Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Logged
BMathis
B~Smooth Xtreme Racing (Retired)
Aces High CM Staff (Retired) [Koth, Xtreme Racing League]

Offline Krupinski

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2083
      • Twitch
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #31 on: July 27, 2010, 05:21:15 PM »
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Logged

Offline Mitchell

  • Copper Member
  • **
  • Posts: 209
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #32 on: July 27, 2010, 07:14:09 PM »
Chuck Norris' favorite Chuck Norris Fact.

They wanted to put Chuck Norris on mount Rushmore but the granite wasn't tough enough for his beard.

Logged

Offline Dragon

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 7055
      • AH JUGS
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #33 on: July 27, 2010, 07:30:04 PM »
Quote from: hymijr on July 27, 2010, 02:58:17 PM
most kids can pee their name into the snow, chuck can pee his into concrete.


best yet.  rofl

 :rofl
Logged
SWchef  Lieutenant Colonel  Squadron Training Officer  125th Spartan Warriors

Offline Sonicblu

  • Nickel Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 653
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #34 on: July 27, 2010, 07:48:21 PM »
When Chuck Norris does a push up it doesn't lift his body up. IT pushes the earth away.
Logged

Offline 321BAR

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6140
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #35 on: July 27, 2010, 08:57:11 PM »
Quote from: redwing7 on July 26, 2010, 09:59:10 PM
Anyone else remember one of the early episodes of Conan O'brian with Chuck Norris as a guest?

Conan asked Chuck if he could really kick like 20 peoples azzes at once like in his movies, Chuck said no nobody can.
Conan says; so if me and the audiance rush you we could kick your azz?
Chuck says, sure (then he got a little smirk and said) but I sure feel sorry for the first 3 or 4 of ya!! :rofl
:rofl :rofl :rofl
Logged
I am in need of a new epic quote
Happy Jack's Go Buggy

Offline ebfd11

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4151
      • [b]POTW[/b]
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #36 on: July 27, 2010, 10:15:21 PM »
Chevy wanted to make a new truck and call it the Chuck Truck, But alas they couldn't build one that tough.
Logged
PIGS ON THE WING 3RD WING

InGame id: LawnDart
RIP Skullman Potzie and BentNail

Offline fbWldcat

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2970
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #37 on: July 27, 2010, 11:49:54 PM »
Quote from: ebfd11 on July 27, 2010, 10:15:21 PM
Chevy wanted to make a new truck and call it the Chuck Truck, But alas they couldn't build one that tough.

Aren't you thinking about the "Ford Tough" slogan?

Chuck Norris has the ability to compare apples to oranges whereas everyone else can only compare apples to apples.
Logged
Quote from: Shuffler on April 07, 2011, 10:37:33 AM
Landing is overrated.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I: I took the one less traveled by." - Robert Frost
"Uncommon valor was a common virtue." <S>

Offline LLv34_Snefens

  • Nickel Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 728
      • Lentolaivue 34
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #38 on: July 28, 2010, 08:15:57 AM »
If Chuck Norris did the coad for AH, the next update would have been out for two weeks.
Logged
Snefens, Lentolaivue 34.
Location: Aarhus, Denmark

"Luck beats skill anytime"

Offline 321BAR

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6140
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #39 on: July 28, 2010, 08:39:04 AM »
Quote from: LLv34_Snefens on July 28, 2010, 08:15:57 AM
If Chuck Norris did the coad for AH, the next update would have been out for two weeks.
if norris did the coad for AH, Santa would be flying around with twin 105s. one for his chin, and one for his butt. and everyone near him would get roundhouse kicks in the form of said 105s until they died
Logged
I am in need of a new epic quote
Happy Jack's Go Buggy

Offline fbWldcat

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2970
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #40 on: July 28, 2010, 09:22:01 AM »
I'm pretty sure we should stick to Chuck Norris jokes that don't include HTC. I dunno, just doesn't make me chuckle..... at all.
Logged
Quote from: Shuffler on April 07, 2011, 10:37:33 AM
Landing is overrated.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I: I took the one less traveled by." - Robert Frost
"Uncommon valor was a common virtue." <S>

Offline saggs

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1250
      • www.kirksagers.com
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #41 on: July 28, 2010, 10:16:56 AM »
My favorite:

Do you know where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came from????







Somebody once dared Chuck Norris to eat some live turtles....   when he pooped them out they where 6ft tall and knew Karate!   :D
Logged

Offline Blooz

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3841
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #42 on: July 28, 2010, 10:34:39 AM »
The last Chuck Norris movie shown in Vietnam killed 800 people.
Logged
White 9
JG11 Sonderstaffel

"You can't vote your way out of communism."

Offline DYNAMITE

  • Parolee
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1350
      • http://www.texasaircav.com/
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #43 on: July 28, 2010, 01:48:07 PM »
Chuck Norris invented ground beef by throwing a cow at a chain-link fence. 
Logged

Offline noTch

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1269
      • JV44 Butcher Birds
Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #44 on: July 28, 2010, 02:30:16 PM »
Quote from: fbWldcat on July 28, 2010, 09:22:01 AM
I'm pretty sure we should stick to Chuck Norris jokes that don't include HTC. I dunno, just doesn't make me chuckle..... at all.

.................OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOhhhhhhhh you better not let CHUCK(aka Dale) hear you say that     :lol :lol :lol :lol
Logged
AHXARL Lead Campaign Manager/2012-?

My new favorite clip--->http://youtu.be/_2Nn4wAVNOg
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6 ... 8   Go Up
« previous next »