So, according to some of you it is because we did not get spanked. According to others it is because we were abused. What ever the reason is, it is definitely not that hitting kids is wrong. 
No. my response was to Penguin's wild extrapolation. I made a joke. From this, he/she was somehow able to deduce that I would both mercilessly beat a child and bully a senior citizen. I wonder if he can read my bones, too? In any case, I like to let the punishment fit the crime (socratic wisdom, that) and so responded with my own extrapolation. I suppose you too can get in the extrapolation game and assume that since I shot it at la penguina, it was also aimed at you - but I'd recommend against it.
As for the rest of the back-and-forth b/w you and Gyrene, I see some virtue in both methods. I think that children are, and I'll use the phrase again, defined to be non compes mentes for a good reason, to wit, they are not fully capable of making good decisions. Thus, you cannot expect to be able to walk them through a line of reason as you would SOME adults (many adults you cannot as well, for other reasons). You may have to create more immediate and visible repercussions to enable a better decision-making process. This assumes that your own aspect is less limited than the child's. That said, odds are, you can accomplish this without playing the force card. However, in some cases it may be necessary to inflict some level of pain to capture their attention.
I honestly think your total prohibition is not only going to be misperceived by the child but is also a mentally lazy means of navigating the judgment process critical to parenting. That said I think every kid is different. Some don't respond to that type of correction anyway. I've seen this even in dogs, as an example. Some are sensitive to the spray bottle, others are not. There are at least two little girls who do not responds to spanking and never will (so why try? It just teaches 'em you're soft at that point), and one good little boy who barely had to be tapped and caught a clue. None need habitual correction now, since the proper tool was applied at the correct and criticial point of test. Discerning that, though, is each parent's job.
You and Gyrene don't know each other's kids or methods in full, but I'd guess that just the fact that you're involved is a good sign. Therefore, you should both probably just quit the pointless arg, at least until you've switched families for a while.
