Wow, lots of useful replies - good stuff
I'll offer you a couple of things. Understand my position. I've been playing for about 2 years as time permits. Many on the bbs are far more experienced, many are more talented. Some of these guys are monsters of the game (Soulyss killed me last night).
1. There's a lot to playing well that has to do with flying in a way that may not be intuitive (you sidestep much of this in a Spit or Zero). Consider, for example, how much time you spend making a 2g turn while holding your airspeed above a certain level. Developing a "feel" for such things is difficult and, at least in my experience, takes a lot of time. Patience is required.
2. The game (and bbs sometimes) is full of what the Germans might call "arscheklownen". Thus, there will be times where you can make every mistake there is and still get the kill - and vice versa. Why? Because arscheklownen come in all varieties.
3. Leon Badboy Smith, Robert Shaw, and Oswald Boelcke are probably the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost (not in that order) of ACM and tactics. I'd recommend looking at Badboy's E-M Diagram simple tutorial right away. You can find it online if you search "Badboy Aces High E-M diagram". Shaw's book is always available somewhere. I bought my copy on amazon. It's called "Fighter Combat", IIRC.
4. Somebody else has written this before but I always feel I learn a lot by flying a nemesis aircraft now and again. For example, I started with the 190d and, while I may still get killed by a good Dora stick now and again, never am I especially afraid to face one. I know what he's got, after all. I only fear a Spitty when it's something like co-E. Low and slow, it's a target, albeit one of the more dodgy ones.
5. Get some squaddies. Buds can help you learn a lot over the radio and in combat. Your newbie status will, in some ways, help them. Actually, we'd (JV44 Wurger) probably take you if you want to be a Luftwannabe.
6. Try AvA, per Oldman. The focus there is small group or even 1v1. No icon makes for better realism, too.
Just last night I had an hilarious battle in AvA 1 on 3 using a 190A-5 against 3 Spitty 5s. By using the shameful tactics of ack-hiding and a Ho, I actually got home with 2 kills and the loss of an elevator, aileron, and a bunch of wing skin, judging by the holes. Was it textbook? No way. Did I use every advantage I had. Yep - and that's fair game 1 versus 3, as I see it. That's not really in the spirit of the game, I figure, but I'll take it. That's point 7. - enjoy the ride, whatever it brings. Otherwise, you end up a squeaker.