I look at it this way...
I will go out of my way to avoid "HOING" on the initial merge if at all possible. (the exception to this is if someone comes head on at me when I am flying a B25H... then they deserve what they get... a facefull of 50's and a 75MM)
Anyway... when dogfighting... I deliberately do not fire unless fired upon for the initial merge, and even then I will move to avoid if I can so I can try to maneuver for position and take a "safe shot".
To me... that's what this game is about. A 1 second engagement that sends one or both pilots to the tower, after a 5 minute flight just to get there is annoying. I dont mind dying... but geez... at least use some skill to kill me. Playing chicken doesnt require any.
Now... with that said, after the initial merge, all bets are off IMO. If my opponent is turning into me, doesnt quite have a gun solution, but I do... I am firing. And I expect him to do the same.
In a furball, with multiple enemies, if something passes in front of my guns and I can take a snapshot... I will. And I expect the same in return.
The idea that EVERY shot needs to be made from the rear quarters is rather silly... but in the same token, make the fight enjoyable. Use some skill, learn something from it... and become a better player for it.
No... it doesnt take 2 to HO... but there are plenty of ways to avoid one most of the time.