Man you cats are depressing as all hell.
Sorry to hear your having such a bad time Joe.
"Your reality is your focus"...just somethin to think about
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_rCiY3SgRQIf you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
One day a young Buddhist on his journey home, came to the banks of a wide river. Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him, he pondered for hours on just how to cross such a wide barrier. Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey he saw a great teacher on the other side of the river. The young Buddhist yells over to the teacher, "Oh wise one, can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river?"
The teacher ponders for a moment looks up and down the river and yells back, "My son, you are on the other side".