Real life parenting question...not sure what to do

[Rich52]

I live presently in the Netherlands where this stuff is to all intents and purposes legal, yet I get the impression that a greater percentage of Americans smoke the 'urb than Dutch people do. Is it very popular over there?

Your impression is probably wrong. First off if you are employed chances are you get drug tested and risk your paycheck smoking it. Kids use it far less then they used to. Its pretty much like any other drug, used mostly by the underclass who arent exactly worried about job openings. But there are many working people who use it as well, just not the ones who get tested. My guess is if its legal in the NetherLands then probably a higher % use it there. Most of all if you dont have drug testing in the workplace.

But there arent many Danish game forums to get impressions from now are there?

[VonMessa]

Do you think that Hans Brinker was a pothead?

[mechanic]

You should let her smoke weed if she wants to. If you stop her it will only make her want to do it more and behind your backs. If you just let her get on with it there is a very high chance she will pass through the phase and give up on her own. If she is destined to be an addict, you wont stop her by prohibiting it.

It's no big deal. Let her control her own life for a while and see how she handles it.

[nrshida]

Apparently Dodge only came to the Netherlands after she wrote that story, so it's not very popular over here.

I don't get the impression from this forum, more from the Americans I have met and talked to and so on, but thanks for your comments, perhaps my impression is skewed. I meant no disrespect btw.

It's very funny for me to watch something like your Cops show, and then the European equivalent, the former is like some Hollywood action movie and the latter like going to the checkout after a bit of shopping 

I think the drug testing at work is a bit ridiculous myself. I think Bill Hicks segment about God leaving this stuff strewn all over the place by accident was astutely observed.

I think Mechanic also has good advice 

[B4Buster]

boo, as shocking as it may seem, I honestly don't think it's a huge deal. When I was in school, people of all shapes and sizes did it. While it never interested me, many of my friends who went on to attend schools like Yale, M.I.T.  etc did smoke Marijauna. They are now making 6 digits a year. She is just exploring, and trying new things. Nothing to be alarmed about yet.

Take my opinion with a grain of salt though - I have no kids, and don't intend on having any.

[VonMessa]

Apparently Dodge only came to the Netherlands after she wrote that story, so it's not very popular over here.

I don't get the impression from this forum, more from the Americans I have met and talked to and so on, but thanks for your comments, perhaps my impression is skewed. I meant no disrespect btw.

It's very funny for me to watch something like your Cops show, and then the European equivalent, the former is like some Hollywood action movie and the latter like going to the checkout after a bit of shopping 

I think the drug testing at work is a bit ridiculous myself. I think Bill Hicks segment about God leaving this stuff strewn all over the place by accident was astutely observed.

I think Mechanic also has good advice 

I was attempting to make a joke  

No offense taken, sir  

[mthrockmor]

I really appreciate all of the comments. I've not wanted to add any updates because reading so many different views has really helped. My wife actually jumped on last night and read them as well.

Last night my wife and I took our daughter for a drive to talk about it. The advice of not going balistic was helpful, though a few times my wife and daughter had some points yelled at each other. All and all a great conversation.

She has been smoking it for about a year. How we missed it was easy. Any signs of use or hints that did lead to questions always resulted in her friends fault. Now we know.

Her friends are a mixed bag, many college bound, others not. Some smoke it, most have at some point. She has been smoking it about once a week for the past year, so not an expirement. I agree that it is not going to kill her per se, and in the spirit of open communication acknowledged that many people smoke weed and have very successful lives. The worry with her, her own concern, is that it was masking feelings of insecurity and feeling alone.

She is really popular but doesn't like big crowds. She gets invited to Southern style parties (all Christian girls who are pretty "churchy" in her words) though she doesn't feel comfortable there. She has some underlying issues she wants to address to include her relationship with both my wife and I. My daughter is also concerned that she feels addicted to smoking weed.

The conclussion is she doesn't want to smoke anymore and getting "caught" was more her effort then ours. She is concerned about it being a habit and addicted, which is now my concern. I've always been told that weed is not additive but my daughter does not agree. And the best is she wants to work on her relationship with us. Having two daughters ten years apart my oldest daughter was an only child for ten years and with the new one she has felt ignored and abandoned to some degree. Two issues to sort out.

My wife and her are off to run errands today and sort out next steps. All in all a very big change in our lives, as she is obviously not a little girl anymore in many ways. One fun thing, she likes to do what her Dad does. It would seem she might get her own Aces High account. I'm not sure about that but if she does....I've taken her to about every airshow and museum within 12 hours driving distance her whole life. It would make sense.

Thanks to all of the discussion and suggestions. It was really helpful. This "game" is much more then wasting time BnZ'ing the oblivious noob.

Boo
 

[Guppy35]

Glad if any of it helped Boo.  Sounds like you've got a smart girl there who wants to make things work and is going to make good decisions.  Nice work on you and your wife's part, and kudos to your daughter for being open to talking about it and looking for help.

[nrshida]

No, not an Aces High addiction, that's the worst of all, oh the humanity  

I'm told weed is not physically addictive mthrockmor, the habitual aspect is like any other habit. I'm sure it will all work out. I respect the way you and your wife have handled this.


VonMessa, I'm pretty sure Hieronymus Bosch was off his face  

[VonMessa]

No, not an Aces High addiction, that's the worst of all, oh the humanity  

I'm told weed is not physically addictive mthrockmor, the habitual aspect is like any other habit. I'm sure it will all work out. I respect the way you and your wife have handled this.


VonMessa, I'm pretty sure Hieronymus Bosch was off his face  

 

[Shuffler]

I really appreciate all of the comments. I've not wanted to add any updates because reading so many different views has really helped. My wife actually jumped on last night and read them as well.

Last night my wife and I took our daughter for a drive to talk about it. The advice of not going balistic was helpful, though a few times my wife and daughter had some points yelled at each other. All and all a great conversation.

She has been smoking it for about a year. How we missed it was easy. Any signs of use or hints that did lead to questions always resulted in her friends fault. Now we know.

Her friends are a mixed bag, many college bound, others not. Some smoke it, most have at some point. She has been smoking it about once a week for the past year, so not an expirement. I agree that it is not going to kill her per se, and in the spirit of open communication acknowledged that many people smoke weed and have very successful lives. The worry with her, her own concern, is that it was masking feelings of insecurity and feeling alone.

She is really popular but doesn't like big crowds. She gets invited to Southern style parties (all Christian girls who are pretty "churchy" in her words) though she doesn't feel comfortable there. She has some underlying issues she wants to address to include her relationship with both my wife and I. My daughter is also concerned that she feels addicted to smoking weed.

The conclussion is she doesn't want to smoke anymore and getting "caught" was more her effort then ours. She is concerned about it being a habit and addicted, which is now my concern. I've always been told that weed is not additive but my daughter does not agree. And the best is she wants to work on her relationship with us. Having two daughters ten years apart my oldest daughter was an only child for ten years and with the new one she has felt ignored and abandoned to some degree. Two issues to sort out.

My wife and her are off to run errands today and sort out next steps. All in all a very big change in our lives, as she is obviously not a little girl anymore in many ways. One fun thing, she likes to do what her Dad does. It would seem she might get her own Aces High account. I'm not sure about that but if she does....I've taken her to about every airshow and museum within 12 hours driving distance her whole life. It would make sense.

Thanks to all of the discussion and suggestions. It was really helpful. This "game" is much more then wasting time BnZ'ing the oblivious noob.

Boo
 

I'm happy for ya!! Sounds like your little girl is growing up and the family is strong.

[FLOTSOM]

sounds like youll all be just fine!!!!

weed is not physically addictive, but you can develope a mild mental addiction, a longing or a want of it from habitual use that is all just in your head. it takes approximately 21 days to make or break a mental habit, she may be a little crankier or more emotional, but after that time she will be fine.

[Karnak]

She is concerned about it being a habit and addicted, which is now my concern. I've always been told that weed is not additive but my daughter does not agree. And the best is she wants to work on her relationship with us.

It isn't chemically addictive, but any behavior repeated often enough can become habitually addictive.  That isn't to say it doesn't have side effects, but chemical addiction isn't one of them.

[Seanaldinho]

It isn't chemically addictive, but any behavior repeated often enough can become habitually addictive.  That isn't to say it doesn't have side effects, but chemical addiction isn't one of them.

Can caffeine have the same effect? I feel like sometimes if I dont have some I get antsy or my tongue starts to tingle for a coke or some coffee.

Sorry for the off topic post.

[Jayhawk]

Can caffeine have the same effect? I feel like sometimes if I dont have some I get antsy or my tongue starts to tingle for a coke or some coffee.

Sorry for the off topic post.

Actually, you can become physically addicted to caffeine, I know I am.  If I haven't had one by 3-4 in the afternoon, I start getting a headache. But, people also become psychologically addicted to the habitual routine of having a cup of coffee in the morning and you can feel off if you don't have one.