My condolences, Traveler.
If it helps, I've come to value my own pain in some ways: it defines, for example, those with whom I fit -those with similar levels of "experience" along these lines. Every stitch -and I've had a number, every dead loved one, they've all left a mark on me.
But, I have a rhetorical question: knowing what you know now, would you have foregone any of it in order to also forego the pain of the loss?
I think we both know the answer.
Otherwise, as Clint said, we've all got it coming. I just like that line in the old cowboy song ( give me a pinto pal): let me live until I die.
