The "official" AH Onion board

[Chilli]

AH Weather is being brought to you by Snailman who currently is slow to report, so ChiLLi will be standing in to bring the most current information on the Aces High heatwave.

The five month forecast for Aces High, is Sunny with a mild breeze above 14,000 ft.



The extended forecast for Aces High, is continued sunshine, with no rain in sight.  Tune in tomorrow when OBX will moderate the FUSS over whether or not Global warming has anything to do with this current record breaking internet drought.

[Skuzzy]

And today's traffic report is brought to you by the good folks at Mirelax.  When you have to go, and do not want it slow, then a spoonful or Mirelax will clear the path.


At the A1, traffic is so clogged you could not bust it loose with a full bottle or Mirelax.  Over at the A3, the ground pounders are shooting through the defenses like a yesterday's burrito!  Meanwhile all seems quiet at the A2 with drunks running about the road with their hair on fire while the ground defenses go limp.

There seems to be some trouble at the A9.  Irritated bowel syndrome seems to taken hold as the rants continue centered around drivers who cannot get it up due to others keeping them down!  Oh the whines, the whines.  Hopefully they will soon find some relief at the next intersection or field.

And that is it for the traffic.....

[10thmd]

 

[Max]

This just in from AL JAZEERA 


http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/bt.swf?code=14731d7bab5d7da4634e83421f577460

[ebfd11]

In a suprising turn of events a certain AH bulletin poster has published his picture...he has asked to remain anonymous so as not to incite a riot. Here is the exclusive picture,,,

How he see's himself////



How he actually looks ...



Further updates as they come in...

LawnDart

[JunkyII]

We interrupt your current program with this special news bulletin....An outbreak of shading has hit the Aces High population, some experts believe it has some sort of connection to the end of The Fighter Ace community but no firm reports have been made.......



more to follow

[Zerstorer]

We interrupt your current program with this special news bulletin....An outbreak of shading has hit the Aces High population, some experts believe it has some sort of connection to the end of The Fighter Ace community but no firm reports have been made.......



more to follow

And none of them are me.   

 

[Chilli]

Stay tuned, coming up in this broadcast:  "HiTech's State of the Onion Address". 

HiTech, has kept his planned speech a secret, and even his closest confidants are not willing to speculate on what his speech will focus on.

This reporter has only to say that there will be pundants on all sides ready to slice and dice his very words and post them into their signatures as if they were their very own.


Hail to the Chef!!!! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW8AJds1CzI

[BaldEagl]

Tonight in Prime Time:

7:00 PM  The Twilight Zone (We control the horizontal... We control the vertical... We don't give a dammed)

8:00 PM  The Muppet Show (Featuring Bert and Earnie)

9:00 PM  Aces High Idol (with host Midway)

[JunkyII]

 

Tonight in Prime Time:

7:00 PM  The Twilight Zone (We control the horizontal... We control the vertical... We don't give a dammed)

8:00 PM  The Muppet Show (Featuring Bert and Earnie)

9:00 PM  Aces High Idol (with host Midway)

[bustr]

Breaking News!

For those in the know!

An un named source inside of HTC has confirmed that in the next version of the game, pancake mix will be available from newly installed dispensers in each cockpit. Players will also see a warning label describing the side effects of ingesting too much pancake mix.

1. - Extreme moments of poor judgment fueled by an overdose of self confidence.
2. - High levels of uncontrollable aggressiveness in the face of superior enemy numbers. Some thing about the color red as a trigger.
3. - High levels of addiction to picking fights with the largest numbers of enemies you can find at any given time.
4. - An uncontrollable need to display your skillz while thumping your virtual chest at anyone who is unfortunate enough to be on the same channel.

The un named source directs anyone with questions about the meaning of "pancake mix" to contact the POTW squad member named JunkyII or alias Jennydrama. 

And now back to our regularly scheduled AH Onion programming.   

[JunkyII]

  Ainies gets the most rants about pancake mix

[Tracers]

Chaos ensued in the arena as all 3 countries' HQs were simultaneously disabled.  The lack of information on enemy locations resulted in two missions from opposing countries somehow accidentally upping in the same grid, resulting in mass confusion as pilots found themselves at equal strength against a numerous opposing force.

80 aircraft simultaneously bailed to reup at the other side of the map.

Wiley.

Ha ha YUP 

[Someguy63]

Tonight in Prime Time:

7:00 PM  The Twilight Zone (We control the horizontal... We control the vertical... We don't give a dammed)

8:00 PM  The Muppet Show (Featuring Bert and Earnie)

9:00 PM  Aces High Idol (with host Midway)

 

[Zerstorer]

Tonight in Prime Time:

7:00 PM  The Twilight Zone (We control the horizontal... We control the vertical... We don't give a dammed)

8:00 PM  The Muppet Show (Featuring Bert and Earnie)

9:00 PM  Aces High Idol (with host Midway)

 

OK...I have to admit that one was pretty damned funny.




(See what I did there... )