Andy,
HO's have their place. They are a valid tactic, it's just that the HO tends to put you in as much danger as the other guy, so most smart pilots will avoid them. The other problem with the HO is that if you try it at the merge, it forces you into a disadvantaged position if the other pilot is sharp. I'll merge below the other fellow's nose if I can, and in order to HO me he will have to dive at me on the merge. At this point I will evade and lead turn him in the verticle giving me both E and angle advantages at the merge.
The only thing that frustrates me is when a pilot uses the HO when he doesn't need to. I've been all alone before vs. superior planes that have 5k advantage yet all they do is HO, extend, repeat. Now I'm quite happy to dodge and eat up their advantage, but It's frustrating when they get a lucky shot from WAY out and put one in the canopy, especially when they hold all the cards and can engage me properly and win easily.
That said, much of the complaints I hear about HO's are not justified. If any pilot is getting killed repeatedly by HO tactics, then he is going for the HO himself. If both go for the HO, the best gunner wins, and even the winner tends to get blown to bits most times. If a fellow comes at you head on and you try to line up and shoot him, you don't move in his gunsight... a stationary target and an easy kill. However, if one learns to avoid the HO and most importantly RESISTS trying to shoot back, HO deaths are rare indeed. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been killed by HO attacks in the last 6 months or more. Even then, all but one or two of those were when I went for the HO myself... and died.

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Lephturn - Chief Trainer
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"MY P-47 is a pretty good ship
And she took a round coming 'cross the Channel last trip
I was thinking 'bout my baby and lettin' her rip
Always got me through so far
Well they can ship me all over this great big world
But I'll never find nothing like my North End girl
I'm taking her home with me one day, sir
Soon as we win this war"
- Steve Earl