Or this one. Not so much a troll, but in keeping within the Onion character as being an idiot.
My Body, My Sister's
My Body, My Sister's is a new book idea I'm working on. So far here's the rough idea:
A story about conjoined twins Emily and Kasha. They Have separate brains hearts and lungs but share everything else including the bigtoe. Two separate heads with one body. Emily controls the right side of the body and Kasha controls the other.
The basic idea is that these two are in their 20's and living on their own in Saudi Arabia after moving from the USA. They had a splendid life until one day at the grocery store. Emily, unbeknownst to Kasha, had stolen an apple from a fruit stand. They were caught and as a result were sentenced and lashed 10,000 times AND Kasha's hand was cut off. Because of Emily's crime, Kasha was now without her hand.
They were exported back to the United States, where a brooding Kasha fell into a deep depression. Some days she would not even get out of bed, while Emily seemed to go on living a normal life. They eventually met a guy named Bob and fell in love. Bob was wonderful to them both and was very fond of them.
Kasha still was pissed about losing her hand, so one night when the three of them were making love, she cut off Bob's dick. Bob ran out of the house and bled out in the driveway. Emily tried to help Bob but Kasha refused to move her leg, so all Emily could do was sit there toejamting themselves until the cops came.
The cops arrested Kasha and she was eventually sentenced to life in prison. Now she would have her revenge on Emily.....making her suffer for life for something she didn't do....or so she thought. Unbeknownst to Kasha, Emily had been consulting expert surgeons in order to get separated from Kasha in order to avoid prison.
So they get the surgery and Emily dies, leaving Kasha with 1/2 a body and no hand and serving a life sentence in prison. After five years her sentence is thrown out because they realized that she never could have cut off Bob's dick because she didn't have a hand. It ends when they both wake up. It was all but a dream!
The end.