Flight Simulator Players Union Local #1
Notice:
Dear Eagler,
It has been brought to the attention of my office and Executive Board of reported irregular, irrational and deeply disturbing behavior on your part.
As the Business Agent for Flight Simulator Players Union Local #1, I am required by the governing bylaws and union rules to maintain a healthy and safe working environment for our brother and sister players. Based on several reports I am obligated to enroll you in the JAFT sponsored substance abuse testing program, as cited in Article 109; page 51, paragraph B, line 152.
Upon receiving of the results of said testing, if a positive result in substance abuse is determined, you will be required to enroll in the JAFT sponsored Drug Rehabilitation program for a period of 12 months. This program will also include monthly urine and hair samples for substance abuse testing. Part of this program requires you to increase your diet of 3 (three) Chocolate Milk Shakes, 14 (fourteen) Reeses Cups, and 2 (two) 32 ounce bags of Cheetos every 24 hours.
It is also noted that you are 25 yrs behind in your union dues, please rectify this situation asap.
Thank you for your continued support
In Unity,
King Animl