Fester, go to Best Buy and get a US ROBOTICS 56k.
If it doesnt say its Winmodem on the box , get it. USR is the best modem brand there is.
Of course, you should be getting a CABLE MODEM, it costs the same as a modem + phone line. Check Time Warner or Adelphia in your area.
If all else fails, AOL has cable , they use the Time Warner lines..but heck, cable is cable, even if they got AOhell slapped on it.