Author Topic: A chuckle for ya... (Read 281 times)

Toad · « **on:** March 08, 2002, 05:41:50 PM »

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya be sayin' a mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not, we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there is a new denomination down the lane and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature."

Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya think £5,000 is enough to donate for the service?"

Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jaysus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?"

Leslie · « **Reply #1 on:** March 13, 2002, 04:39:40 AM »

Sad to say religious humor is such a hot topic these days. Only a decade ago this would not have been the case. However, in the spirit of friendliness, and because I hate to see a joke go unacknowledged, I'm responding. That was a good one Toad.

What's wrong with you guys? LOL...don't you have a sense of humor? Geesh.

Les:cool:

MrBill · « **Reply #2 on:** March 13, 2002, 08:55:22 AM »

It was the first day of school in Elmer, New Jersey and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the 4th grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry,> 1775," he said.

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"? Again, no response except from
Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Suzuki.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs."
"Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck
this!" Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You
little toejam. If you say anything else, I'll kill you." Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh toejam, we're screwed" and Suzuki said, "The Taliban! 2001!"

Leslie · « **Reply #3 on:** March 13, 2002, 10:03:33 AM »

ROTFLMAO:D S! Mr. Bill

Les

Toad · « **Reply #4 on:** March 13, 2002, 10:04:03 AM »

Bill,

You and I must have similar friends.. I got that one E-Mailed too.

It's GREAT! I laughed out loud on that one!

The dog one came to me from my Labrador circle of friends. It's not really meant as a "religious" joke per se, I think.

Anyway, enjoyed reading that one again. Still makes me laugh.

I think the Taliban's epithet will be "Hey, Omar... we should have just given them Bin Laden!"

easymo · « **Reply #5 on:** March 13, 2002, 12:59:05 PM »

LOL. thanks