Preon, I have flown a little over 2 years in War Birds prior to coming over to AH, and never suffered any harassment. Prior to flying online with WB I flew several months offline. I had no idea what the onine experiece would be like, and I WAS worried about harassment issues. I didnt know anyone else at all that flew WW2 combat flight sims.
I also considered picking a non-obviously female handle, etc, but ended up thinking I'd rather just be myself - IF I get harassment I can always change my handle if I still want to fly the game anyway. And so I began flying as -esme- And you know what? I had precisely one definitely objectionable encounter in-game and that after about a year of playing online. I squelched the bugger as soon as he started offending me, and I never had any furtehr problems.
The bulk of the guys seem to be very protective in that if they hear of anyone harassing me simply for being female, they're likely to give the miscreant a very hard time on every encounter with them for a specified period of time. I've seen a few instances idiot big-mouths almost literally unable to fly due to being solidly vulched and even having their location broadcast to the other side(s) to HELP the enemy vulch them (in WB). Not only does it teach the miscreants to behave better, it also acts as a dire warning to those who might be inclined to misbehave.
Between squelch commands, the GOOD behaviour of the majority, and the fact one can complain to the owners of the game you're flying, I feel pretty safe in online flight sims now. Yes, I've had some amiable flirting/gentle ribaldry aimed at me, but that's OK, the majority know sensible boundaries and keep to 'em.
As for your partner being worried about how good she is or isn't, I'm sure with your help, Preon, she'll become reasonably competent far faster than I was able to teching myself offline. And if she wants some online tuition, I'd be glad to help - I'm happy flying anything, as much realism as a PC game can throw at me, though I specialise in bombers, rather than fighters, but I can at least teach the basic handling in those, too. And there's always "winging" in Ostwinds betwen times, that can be quite fun, as Flossy and I can attest!
Good luck, and here's hoping that AH gains another female aviator before long!
Esme (-esme- in WB, esmers in AH)
