Addition to the Atomic Chart
New Element Discovered . .
called ... Administratium
A major research institution has
recently announced the discovery of
the heaviest element yet known to
science. This new element has been
tentatively named "Administratium."
Administratium has 1 neutron,
12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together
by a force called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no
electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction
with which it comes into contact. A
minute amount of Administratium causes
one reaction to take over 4 days to
complete when it would normally take
less than a second. Administratium has
a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not
decay but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places. In fact, Administratium's
mass will actually increase over time,
since each reorganization causes some morons
to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion
leads some scientists to speculate that
Administratium is formed whenever morons
reach a certain quantity in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to
as "Critical Morass."
You will know it when you see it.
