Are you over 18 years old and still living at home?

[Animal]

I dont know why some people here are so eager to throw their kids to the street, great parents they are.
What I am studying makes it very hard to have a full time job to pay rent, food, etc. So if my father would kick me out, he would effectively be ruining what I have planned for my future, cause I would have to put my studies aside in order to work and make money (hahaha  if you wanna have a full time job and have good grades to be an astro-physicist in a respectable college).
Of course, he could pay an apartment for me, but what would be the point of that if I can live with him.
I think that if you have to kick your kids out of their homes to make some sort of stupid statement, you are just an awful parent. You dont need such drastic actions to teach responsability and independence. Just because you learned it that way doesnt mean its the right and only way.
But if you are 100% set to do it, make sure you let them know in advance that they will not be welcomed in their home so that they make plans accordingly, dont do it all of the sudden

"you are 18 now, go away"

"but dad, I have nowhere to go"

"I dont care, I am a macho father who wants to impress his peers with such huge determination as to kick his kids out. No go away before I get my gun"

[Urchin]

Pardon me not reading the whole thread, but  I read most of it.  I guess I'm what you could call a failure.  I certainly think of myself that way just about all the time.  I'm 24, still live at home.  Been working full-time since 22 when I got out of school with a history degree.  Bit of advice here- if your kid tells you he wants to major in history, tell him/her that they are a retard.  Worked 30 hours a week through college to pay for it, worked 25-30 a week through high school to pay for my own car, own insurance, phone bill, internet access, computer, etc.  

All that work, and I've still never had a job making more than $10 an hour.  I don't know about where you guys live, but I live in Maryland.  You cannot afford to live on your own unless you are making around 30 grand or so (or unless you are on welfare, but white people can't get on welfare.. no offense to anyone I hope, and I've never actually tried, but I've had a couple friends who did and got rejected... and one was friggin homeless).

I still haven't figure out what I want to do with my life.  It is pathetic really.. I'm 24 and I've no more idea of what my 'master plan' is than I did when I was 12.  I wanted to go into the police, failed the physical test and pretty much gave up.  I don't honestly know what'd I'd do if my parents got sick of me leeching off them and kicked me out.  Honestly.. no idea.  You may want to think of that if you've got older children, well, adults... well.. offspring living in your house still.  

I don't even know what'd I'd do if my parents actually came straight out and told me what I'm pretty sure they think about me all the time anyway.  I don't think that me, or anyone, wants to stay with their parents for a long time.. but on the other hand, I've no idea what I need to be doing to get out.  I work full time.  Even working full-time, I bring home less than $1,000 a month after taxes and deductions at work.

Sorry for rambling... I guess I just wanted to possibly bring a different perspective into it.

[MrRiplEy[H]]

Urchin when I was 24 I was in a far worse situation than you. I was living on my own but earning nothing. I had to count every penny just to save money for food.

Keep your faith.. I considered suicide multiple times during those years. Now I have a wife, son and a steady job and can't complain much about anything. Except being shot down by buff gunners

If you keep trying, things will change.

[Animal]

I got a few friends in your situation Urchin.

If my father kicked me out and put a cut on my college money, I know what I would do and I wouldnt starve. But I would never forgive him. I was kicked out of my house during my parent's divorce at 16; lived with friends, made a rock band to make whatever little money to pay for Chef Boyardee and Kool-Aid, and drugs. Lived that way for three months, and still went to school (military school, mind you)
I am not interested in that. I want nothing more in life than to get my comercial pilot lisence so I can finally make enough of my *OWN* money to afford going to MIT.

However if my father would tell me "I will still pay your studies but you have to make money for your house and food"  I would have no problem with that. I am an independent person, no problem working hard for a living; I actuall enjoy it. I learned that a long time ago, leason learned, blah blah. I live with my father simply cause he is a good roomate.


If you want to make a statement by kicking your kids out of their home, you should re-check your methods. Unless of course, you are so bad a parent that it would be the only way of teaching them independence and how to live on their own.

[wsnpr]

Originally posted by Ripsnort
Just curious...why?  I'm "planning" my future when that day comes for my boys...personally, when I was 18, I packed up a suitcase full of clothes and with $100 found my dreams...I think the best thing that ever happened to me in my life was not only booting myself out of the house, but moving 1700 miles away (talk about taking yourself out of a comfort zone!)

My wife and I plan to move to Montana when the youngest turns 18.  They're welcome to come with us, but meeting one of two conditions: A) You are working and paying us rent...or  B) You are attending college or a trade school.

Is that too much to ask for?  Incidently, they both will have a 6 figure bank account when we move(Started mutual funds for both when they were born), so I won't feel guilty about leaving them with no $$

Rip,
It is obvious that you and your wife love your kids. You are giving them something far more valuable than money. You are helping to teach them to grow into responsible adults.
I am sure in the beginning they might resent the choices given them, but in due time, they'll love and respect you and your wife all the more. Also you should make them pay for their own car insurance. They'll learn a lot faster the responsibilty of driving safely if they have to pay for their consequences.
A Big Sir! The best of luck to you and your family.

[Tumor]

Originally posted by Animal
I got a few friends in your situation Urchin.

If you want to make a statement by kicking your kids out of their home, you should re-check your methods. Unless of course, you are so bad a parent that it would be the only way of teaching them independence and how to live on their own.

Well if it makes you feel any better, all my kids are very aware that they will be housed, fed and clothed (with a small pricetag included post HighSchool, part time employment never hurt anyone) as long as they are getting an education.   I just won't tolerate any of them dropping out of Highschool "because I don't like it" will not fly and at 18yrs of age they become legal adults.  It's a simple equation: Stay in School or meet real life head on.

[Tumor]

Originally posted by Urchin


I still haven't figure out what I want to do with my life.  It is pathetic really.. I'm 24 and I've no more idea of what my 'master plan' is than I did when I was 12.  I wanted to go into the police, failed the physical test and pretty much gave up.  I don't honestly know what'd I'd do if my parents got sick of me leeching off them and kicked me out.  Honestly.. no idea.  You may want to think of that if you've got older children, well, adults... well.. offspring living in your house still.  


 

How far a commute would it be to the D.C. area?  Man there's ton's of DoD GS jobs you could at least try for.   You should be able to find something at the GS-9 level fairly easy.  Comes with some dang good perks to, especially the part where after a year you basicly can't be fired lol.

[Curval]

Originally posted by Tumor
Anyway, now he's looking at being 21 when he graduates HS.  He recently asked me about a GED (I knew that was coming).  I know it sounds hard-assed but I told him that once he's 18 he's either in school or looking for a new roof to live under, no if's, and's or but's about it.  He's doing very good in school now (go figure), however I'm still worried.

Tumor,

I went to college when I had just turned 17 years old.  So I was effectively way ahead of my years...the only positive thing I can say about my eductaion in the UK.

BUT....I was too young.  I dropped out before the first year was over and went to work at a bank as a teller...wasn't making enough cash so I worked in the construction business for a few years.  Before I knew it I was 21 and floundering.

I ended up going back to college and got a political science degree...one step up from a History degree...but only if you go to Law school.  After graduating I worked and then went to school at night to get my accounting courses necesary to gain my designation.

What I am trying to say here is that you shouldn't worry about your son being 21 when he gets out of HS, as long as he decides to make something of himself.


Urchin,

I have a Poli-Sci degree, my best friend ended up with a History degree.

Both of us are now accountants.

But, don't think of it as a failure or anything, because once you find your chosed career you will find that you will have uses for your knowledge in the strangest of ways.

One of my best clients came to me after we had a long political argument over the collaspse of the Soviet Union.  He liked my point of view and chose me over better qualified people because he knew we would have some interesting conversations in the future.  Funny how some things work out.

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by Animal
I dont know why some people here are so eager to throw their kids to the street, great parents they are.
What I am studying makes it very hard to have a full time job to pay rent, food, etc. So if my father would kick me out, he would effectively be ruining what I have planned for my future, cause I would have to put my studies aside in order to work and make money (hahaha  if you wanna have a full time job and have good grades to be an astro-physicist in a respectable college).
Of course, he could pay an apartment for me, but what would be the point of that if I can live with him.
I think that if you have to kick your kids out of their homes to make some sort of stupid statement, you are just an awful parent. You dont need such drastic actions to teach responsability and independence. Just because you learned it that way doesnt mean its the right and only way.
But if you are 100% set to do it, make sure you let them know in advance that they will not be welcomed in their home so that they make plans accordingly, dont do it all of the sudden

"you are 18 now, go away"

"but dad, I have nowhere to go"

"I dont care, I am a macho father who wants to impress his peers with such huge determination as to kick his kids out. No go away before I get my gun"

In my case its not so much to get rid of them (Actually, thats the toughest thing to do concerning parents..) as it is to "teaching them to fly on their own" so to speak.  Anytime you put someone out of their comfort zone, or as in several cases above, take yourself out of your comfort zone, you expand your horizons, learn, sometimes struggle, and you certainly do not stagnate holding onto mothers apron strings...

[Gunthr]

I was a rebellious kid. I got into a fair amount of trouble. But I didn't leave home until I was 18. Dad said, "You are a man now. You will follow the rules, or leave." My dad was rigoristic. I didn't like his rules, and I never really followed them anyway.

I left. I had a Honda 450 motorcycle and a minimum wage job. I lived in a boarding house with 7 other various guys for $25 dollars a week. No private entrance. No cooking. One bathroom. It sucked. I was there for about a year before I got a decent one-bedroom apartment.

I eventually got a job, with the help of my dad, running a 50 lb jackhammer on a construction job (expansion of the McLouth Steel Mill) on the Detroit River, making big, big bucks. I knew then that I had to go to college, so I saved my money. I first had to go to a community college for remedial math and English. Then to WSU.

It wasn't until I left home that realised that I had been getting free food and free clothes all my life. And it wasn't until I left home that my dad and I started appreciating each other.

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by Gunthr

It wasn't until I left home that realised that I had been getting free food and free clothes all my life. And it wasn't until I left home that my dad and I started appreciating each other.

Bingo!

Rebellious here too.  6 months after highschool while working as a roofer, I decided to leave home and persue my dream, working for Boeing (sounds corney, but at age 4 when I saw my first 707, I told my dad "I'm going to work for Boeing someday"...I don't remember this, but my dad does)

My father and I grew very close after I left.

[myelo]

My parents died a year before I was born, so I was raised by opossums. By the time I was 2 years old I was too big to ride on my mother’s back, so she kicked me out of the tree. I got a job in a coal mine, worked 20 hours a day and went to elementary night school (days were 36 hours long back then). I never had any toys and my only pet was a swamp rat named Buster. But he got rabies and we had to kill him. When I was 12, I lied about my age and joined the marines and the army at the same time. With the money I saved from the service, supplemented by selling both kidneys, I put myself through college. Through hard work and sacrifice, I now own several South American countries. Not bad for someone starting out as a marsupial.

[straffo]

rotflmao  myelo

btw I'm still at home like for the previous 32 years ... but now it's mine

[Gunthr]

LOL

When I was growing up, we were so poor that all we had in the house to eat was salt. We made salt soup out of it. It tasted ok, but it was a little too salty.

You could buy a 45 pound turkey for only 2 cents, but we didn't have the 2 cents.

We had to walk 27 miles to school. It was uphill both ways. Knee deep snow all year round. But we didn't complain. We were just happy that someone would teach us to read.

All we got on Christmas was maybe a stone, or a piece of coal.  If you were lucky, you got a cardboard tube or a rubber band to play with . And we were glad to get it.

There wern't no good times when I was a boy. Even if there were, we didn't want any. We were too miserable.  

[AKSWulfe]

Urchin- you aren't alone. I worked with a guy who still lived at home and he was 23.

What you outta do is get a certification in a computing field. You're good with computers, right? Go to a community college and get a certification in networking or something. If you're near Anne Arundel, A.A.C.C. has some pretty good programs and teachers. That's where I'm at right now.

I'm going for an A.A. in Network Mgmt. Almost done with it actually- and it was pretty easy so far (but took 2 years). (IMO)
-SW