Recently confirmed reports of Bishop mind control over weaker minded Rooks and Knights, seems to be allowing the Bishops a distinct advantage in the war.
"I don't know what happened to me" cried a Rook fighter pilot, recently interviewed. "I knew the Bishops were coming and I knew that I should fight back, but instead I just rolled over and started whining on the open radio channel."
Numerous reports indicate that this type of bizaare behavior is rampant among both Rooks and Knights as they face the more skilled, oraganized and good looking Bishop forces.
When asked if anything could be done to protect themselves from the Bishops mind control, a Knight General replied, "I'm afraid not...the Bishops have found us out to be weak minded Whiney Whiners(the worst kind of whiner) and it's only a matter of time before we cry openly on channel one."
In closing, I should also report, both knight and Rook forces seem to have a strange affection towards sheep and each other for that matter. I'm afraid it's only a matter of time before both Rook and Knight forces move to the CT, where such behavior is not only condoned, but encouraged.
Rude
War Correspondent
AH Daily News