AOL journey

[Saintaw]

July 18
I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it is the best
online service I can get. They even included a free CD! I'd better hold
onto it incase they don't ever send me anther one! I can't connect. I
don't know what is wrong.
 
July 19
Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I
don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I
am?
 
July 22
I bought the modem. I couldn't figure out where it goes. It wouldn't
fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused.
 
July 23
I finally got the modem in and hooked up. that nine year old next door
did it for me. But it still don't work. I can't get online.
 
July 25
That nine year old kid next door hooked me up to America Online for me.
He's so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he says that's just
another service. What a modest kid. He's so smart and he does these
services for people. Anyway he's smarter then the jerks who sold me the
modem. They didn't even tell me about communications software. Bet they
didn't know. And why do they put two telephone jack holes in the back
of a modem when you only need one? And why do they have one labeled
phone when you are not suppose to hook it to the phone jack on the
wall? I thought the dial tone sounded funny! Boy, are modem makers
dumb! But the kid figured it out by the sound.
 
July 26
What's the internet? I thought I was on America Online. Not this
internet thing. I'm confused.
 
July 27
The nine year old kid next door showed me how to use this America
Online stuff. I told him he must be a genius. He says that he is
compared to me. Maybe he's not so modest after all.
 
July 28
I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing
happened. Maybe I need to buy a microphone.
 
July 29
I found this thing called usenet. I got out of it because I'm connected
to America Online not usenet.
 
July 30
These people in this usenet thing keep using capital letters. How do
they do that? I never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe
they have a different type of keyboard.
 
July 31
I CALLED THE COMPUTER MAKER I BOUGHT IT FROM TO COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT
HAVING A CAPITAL LETTER KEY. THE TECH SUPPORT GUY SAID IT WAS THIS CAPS
LOCK KEY. WHY DIDN'T THEY SPELL IT OUT? I TOLD HIM I GOT A CHEAP
KEYBOARD AND WANTED A BETTER ONE. AND ONE OF MY SHIFT KEYS ISNT THE
SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER. HE SAID THATS A STANDARD. I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T
WANT A STANDARD KEYBOARD BUT ANOTHER BRAND. I MUST HAVE HAD AN
IMPORTANT COMPLAINT BECAUSE I HEARD HIM TELL THE OTHER SUPPORT GUYS TO
LISTEN IN ON OUR CONVERSATION.
 
August 1
I FOUND THIS THING CALLED THE USENET ORACLE. IT SAYS THAT IT CAN ANSWER
ANY QUESTIONS I ASK IT. I SENT IT 44 SEPARATE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE
INTERNET. I HOPE IT RESPONDS SOON.
 
August 2
I FOUND A GROUP CALLED REC.HUMOR. I DECIDED TO POST THIS JOKE ABOUT THE
CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD. TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! HA! HA! I
WASNT SURE I POSTED IT RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 56 MORE TIMES.
 
August 3
I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THE WORLD WIDE WEB. I DON'T NOW SPIDERS GREW THAT
LARGE.
 
August 4
THE ORACLE RESPONDED TO MY QUESTIONS TODAY. GEEZ IT WAS RUDE. I WAS SO
ANGRY THAT I POSTED AN ANGRY MESSAGE ABOUT IT TO REC.HUMOR.ORACLE. I
WASNT SURE IF I POSTED RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 22 MORE TIMES.

August 5
SOMEONE TOLD ME TO READ THE FAQ. GEEZ THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO USE
PROFANITY.

August 6
SOMEONE ELSE TOLD ME TO STOP SHOUTING IN ALL MY MESSAGES. WHAT A STUPID
JERK. IM NOT SHOUTING! IM NOT EVEN TALKING! JUST TYPING! HOW CAN THEY
LET THESE RUDE JERKS GO ON THE INTERNET?

August 7
Why have a Caps Lock key if you're not suppose to use it? Its probably
an extra feature that costs more money.

August 8
I just read this post called make money fast. I'm so excited. I'm going
to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to
every newsgroup I could find.

August 9
I just made my signature file. Its only 6 pages long. I will have to
work on it some more.

August 10
I just looked at a group called alt.aol.sucks. I read a few posts and I
really believe that aol should be wiped off the face of the earth. I
wonder what an aol is.

August 11
I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy
told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I've looked and looked but I can't
find that group.

August 12
I sent a post to every usenet group on the Internet asking where the
ftp.netcom.com is. hopefully someone will help. I cant ask the kid next
door. His parents said that when he comes back from my house he's
laughing so hard he can't eat or sleep or do his homework. So they wont
let him come over anymore. I do have a great sense of humor. I don't
know why the rec.humor group didn't like my chicken joke. Maybe they
only like dirty stuff. Some people sent me posts about my 56 posts of
the joke and they used bad words.

August 13
I sent another post to every usenet group on the Internet asking where
the ftp.netcom.com is. I had forgot yesterday to include my new
signature file which is only 8 pages long. I know everyone will want to
read my favorite poem so I included it. I'm also going to add that
short story I like.

August 14
Some guy suspended my account because of what I was doing. I told him I
don't have an account at his bank. He's so dumb.

[Saurdaukar]

ROFL!!!  

[boxboy28]

TOOOOOOOO    FFFFFFFFIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGG GGG FUNNY!


I love they ways she used capital "I's, and other letters"  before she figured out the "how to use capital letters"

But still funny


box

[Octavius]

LOL

but boxboy,

Where does it say the author is a she?