Sandman, I can only say that as a man, you have to make a decision, and you have. More power to you.
I don't beleive that the truth is subjective. I believe that it is solid, unmoving, and will never change. God is, was, and will always be God. Man is the flaky variable.
What I don't understand is the first statement you made I have a hard time believing that belief is a matter of choice.
Do you think that our minds are made up by some other force or something, that you don't have control over what you think, or believe? please explain.
BTW, until I accepted Christ as my personal Savior, I could read the bible and it did not hit home with me.