Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here

[Golfer]

Was enjoying myself on the couch reading flyingmag and sipping on a bottle of U.S. bottled water when i overheard some blonde talking about how aircraft carriers can be a dangerous place.  well, yeah.  So i watch now as she says "watch what happens to our camera man"

Panning shot on an aircraft carrier i didn't catch the name of, lovely view of a superhornet taxiing around as it makes a hard right turn to gets into sequence for its cat-shot.  juuuuuust as the nozzles pass a perfect lineup with this numb-nut camera man staring right up the bellybutton end of two hornet engines you see the cameraman's first person view of what its like to be blown over by jet blast.  I laughed and laughed and laughed and am laughing even now just thinking about it.  Maybe it comes from working the flight line?  maybe its just better genetics?  maybe its just common sense.  But i don't recall ever taxiing too close to a jet on a taxiway (even an RJ will cook you) let alone stand behind one.  Anyways...wish i had a film clip.

[Tuomio]

Rofl, B17:s..Now THAT would be cool sight.

Lets carpet bomb the Baghdad!

[mjolnir]

Think I heard one about our Stealthhawk fighters dropping Tomahawks on Baghdad.....

[Hortlund]

"The 7th Cavalry, as you see it, rolling across the desert is now here looking for pockets of the Iraqi army. And, of course, they have every intention to treat them as hostile horses as the commander of the 7th Cavalry said to us earlier in the day: If we meet the Iraqis, we will kill them. ."

-CNN Walter Rodgers with the 7th Cav.

Huh?

[Dinger]

MSNBC: "M109 P-Aladdin"
Fox: "M109 Fal- AyDin"

or rather.
Fox:
"We're with a group of M109 Pal-Ay-Dins as part of the 3rd ID.... A volley of shells just flew over head and exploded to to the rear of our position! (howitzers lower their tubes to about 300 mils QE).  There's some activity here. (sounds of a battalion fire mission, on screen platoon-left FFE).  It looks like they've just started to prep the battlefield."


or the brachylogic:
"a bomb strike to decapitate saddam hussein"

or (cnn) up north, on a bridge:  on one side a kurd checkpoint.  Zoom to other side, where a team of Iraqi soldiers is heading up the road.  Five are below the road flanking on the embankment.  One is looking very cautious, bushing a metal device not unlike those used to rake infields at baseball games.  Pop a paper bag near these guys and they'll be checking to make sure they still have anuses.
"The iraqis on the other side seem to be taking it easy and relaxing.  They don't seem to present a threat or appear threatened themselves."

al-samoud 2 becomes a scud.
any number of MRLS mentions.  Actually, the best was:
"We saw an MLRS fire, but it wasn't firing the regular missiles, but one of those telephone-pole sized missiles."  okay, sure, MLRS fires both rockets and missiles, but which ones aren't 13 feet long?

The whole debate over whether that taped message was SH.  Come on, if you're gonna fake it, you're gonna fake it a little better than that.

still, once again, Peter Arnett's baghdad hot mike feed pays off.
"What, we can't say that on the air!"
"no no, you fool! I know about those little explosions.  Tell me if you see something that you haven't seen before!"

[beet1e]

Two BBC reporters discussing the forthcoming war: "Clearly the economy would benefit from a short, decisive war rather than a long protracted war". Geez, talk about stating the bleedin' obvious.

[Innominate]

Originally posted by Saurdaukar
"And behind me you'll see two F14 Tomahawks launching, armed with air to ground bombs."
 

I watched a former secretary of the air force talking about a video clip, describing F/A-18's, thier capabilities, etc.  While the video clip was clearly showing F-14's.

Or the people calling the m113 a tank.

I wish reporters would stop trying to act like they know what they're talking about, or spend 10minutes briefing themselves on the various systems being used.

[beet1e]

Does Ted Koppel still have that idiotic hairpiece?  It might have looked OK to begin with, but I remember the hair on the sides of his head greying while his hairpiece colour remained constant. Looked weird...

[Turdboy]

Peter Jennings last night.

"The anti-war protesters in are against the war in Iraq"

or

"War protesters around the world are upset with the U.S. for going to war with Iraq and who could blame them"

[JBA]

Peter Jennings  is a tool.

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by funkedup
"The Seventh Calvary is the tip of the spear..." - Some meatstick on CNN.

I laughed like hell when he said that...

Great thread, heard just about everyone of those up above and was laughing with ya.

[SOB]

Hmmm...I figured it out.  They're using special B17s armed with air to air bombs!


SOB

[SOB]

Shock and Awe!

[seabat]

Reporter interviewing a US Admiral about operations;

"Commander, what will be the first objectives of the air strikes?"

Reporter interviewing a Lt. Col.:

"Lieutenant, what would be good indicators of success of achieving military objectives"

Reporter on CNN:

"We have exclusive just released video from the military which we will play now.   We do not know the location of the video but it is obviously C-130 aircraft and other refueling aircraft at an airbase, presumably in Kuwait."  

The video is of the building in Bagdad burning.

[miko2d]

Saurdaukar: Air to ground bombs?

 Everybody knows germans experimented with air-to-air bombs in 1944-45 to use against allied bomber formations. He had to make it clear.


beet1e: "Clearly the economy would benefit from a short, decisive war rather than a long protracted war". Geez, talk about stating the bleedin' obvious.

 Far from obvious - even wrong here. If we show our resolve and kill a lot of people this time, others will think twice before refusing to take dollars in favor of Euro. That would really benefit our economy long term.

 miko