Black Adder.....

[Replicant]

Oooh, Miranda Richardson... loved it when she stripped off naked in 'After Pilkington'

My favourite is Blackadder II...

Queenie: There's definitely been no sign of Edmund.

Percy: I fear not, Mum.

Queenie: Where did he vanish? Simply vanished.

Percy: Like an old oak table.

Queenie: Vanished, Lord Percy, not *varnished*.

Percy: Forgive me, my lady, but my uncle Bertram's old oak table completely vanished. 'Twas on the night of the great Stepney fire. And on that same terrible night, his house and all his other things completely vanished too. So did he, in fact. It was a most perplexing mystery.

Queenie: Lord Percy.

Percy: Yes?

Queenie: It's up to you. Either you can shut up or have your head cut off.

Percy: (thinks for a few seconds) I'll shut up.

[Replicant]

Also, in Blackadder I, there seemed to be a few references to Rutland (where I live!).  I know that Stephen Fry went to school in Rutland and I think Rowan Atkinson lived here for awhile too...

Percy: [trying to show off in front of Baldrick, speaks to Edmund] It will be a great day to-morrow for we nobles.
Edmund: Well, not if we lose, Percy. If we lose, I'll be chopped to pieces. My arms will end up at Essex, my torso in Norfolk, and my genitalia stuck up a tree somewhere in Rutland.
Baldrick: With you at the helm, My Lord, we cannot lose.
Percy: [still trying to show off] Well, we could if we wanted to!
Edmund: Ah, but we won't, Percy, and I shall prove to all that I am a man!
Percy: But you are a man, My Lord.
Edmund: But how shall it be proved, Percy...?
Percy: Well, they could look up that tree in Rutland. [Edmund bops him on the forehead] Not in front of the staff, My Lord.
Edmund: It shall be proved by mine enemies rushing to the water closet in terror!
Baldrick: Hurray!
Percy: [restrained] Hurray!

[Replicant]

Putting Baldrick up for election (and finding out his first name!).

Edmund: What we need is an utter unknown yet someone over whom we have complete power. A man with no mind, with no ideas of his own. One might almost say a man with no brain. (he rings the servant bell)

Prince George: Well...any thoughts?

Edmund: Yes, Your Highness. (Enter Baldrick)

Baldrick: You rang, My Lord?

Edmund: (to George) Meet the new member of Parliament for Dunny-on-the-World.

Prince George: But he's an absolute arsehead!

Edmund: Precisely, sir. Our slogan shall be: "A rotten candidate for a rotten borough." Baldrick, I want you to go back to your kitchen sink, you see, and prepare for government.

At Baldrick's/Blackadder's Quarters

Edmund: Right. Now all we have to do is fill in this MP application form. Name: (with Baldrick) `Baldrick'. First name...?

Baldrick: Er, I'm not sure.

Edmund: Well, you must have some idea...

Baldrick: Well, it might be `Sod off'.

Edmund: What?

Baldrick: Well, when I used to play in the gutter, I used to say to the other snipes, "Hello, my name's Baldrick," and they'd say, "Yes, we know. Sod off, Baldrick."

Edmund: All right, right right right right, `Mr. S. Baldrick'. Now; distinguishing features... `None'.

Baldrick: Well, I've got this big growth in the middle of my face.

Edmund: That's your nose, Baldrick. Now any history of insanity in the family? Tell you what, I'll cross out the `in'. Any history of *sanity* in the family? `None whatsoever'. Now then; criminal record...

Baldrick: Absolutely not.

Edmund: Oh, come on, Baldrick, you're going to be an MP, for God's sake! I'll just put `fraud and sexual deviancy'. Now; minimum bribe level...

Baldrick: One turnip. Oh, hang on, I don't want to price myself out of the market.

Edmund: Baldrick, I've always been meaning to ask: Do you have any ambitions in life apart from the acquisition of turnips?

Baldrick: Er, no.

Edmund: So what would you do if I gave you a thousand pounds?

Baldrick: I'd get a little turnip of my own.

Edmund: So what would you do if I gave you a million pounds?

Baldrick: Oh, that's different. I'd get a great big turnip in the country.

(someone knocks at the door)

Edmund: Oh God, I'll get that. Here (pushes paper to Baldrick), sign here. (motions where with his hand; Baldrick marks an `X' on Edmund's palm; Edmund presses his palm against the application.)