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http://www.fightliteracy.com/ BAGHDAD, Iraq -- Iraq's Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf held a briefing late Monday to counter "the American lies."
"The Americans say that their coalition troops are in Baghdad. These things, they are the American lies," he said. "They are not even within 100 miles of Baghdad." Heavy fighting could be heard outside of the damaged walls of the shelled out Ministry of Information building.
When asked if Iraqi troops had engaged any troops in combat, the information minister responded, "Yes, and the Iraqis have inflicted death to the Americans and British in mass numbers. We have probably killed over one million. At least one million. No, actually, probably two million."
"In fact," he continued, "Iraqi troops have captured at least 5 major American cities. We have brought the Land of Satan to its knees."
But many Iraqis have witnessed coalition planes landing at Saddam International Airport. He challenged these sightings. "What planes? These claims that the Americans have the ability to fly are pure myth. Do not believe these preposterous tales of flight."
Sahaf revealed some of Iraq's defense tactics that he says are keeping Iraq and the Baath party regime many steps ahead of coalition troops. "Right now, you don't know it, but we have put Iraq on wheels and are constantly moving about the globe. The Americans are searching for us in the Middle East, but they cannot find us. We are always moving. Right now we are somewhere near Australia."
The Minister of Information also aimed to confirm the health of Iraqi president. "Our leader, Saddam Hussein, he is in great health, and is safe from the failed aggression of the United States. You do not see him because he can turn himself invisible. He is actually standing next to me right now, and he is better than ever."
Moments after a cruise missile struck a building less than 500 feet from the briefing, Sahaf ended the conference abruptly. "I have to go now. I have a meeting with Zeus where we will discuss how the great leader Saddam Hussein has turned the oceans into great seas of liquid gold. I will return for another briefing at 37 o'clock from the land of cinnamon and cookies where the clouds are made of cotton candy."
