[rant]
As a diehard Star Wars fan... constantly defending the integrity of Lucas and the first two Episodes... even I must admit that I agree with much of what you are saying...
Episode I sucked... 20 minutes worth of good "Star Warsy" film.
Episode II sucked... 45 minutes worth of good "Star Warsy" film.
Episode III will suck... maybe an hour of good footage...
The attempt to make the movie enjoyable for children has ripped the feel from the movies - the dark, desperate, and hopeless mood. WTF is Jar Jar Binks? If there was any charectar in any movie... EVER... that has single handly ruined the entire experience... he (she?) is it.
The technology also got in the way... by that I mean the "universe" technology and the film technology. Mouth peices worn to allow you to breath underwater? Please. Sounds like a Star Trek movie to me... Number one, ready the away team and equip them with titanium breath pieces... make it so, engage... and other catchy phrases.
Too much explaining... I dont want to know how the Force works... dont spend 5 minutes explaining it to me... Ben's explaination in the first movie was enough... open for debate... the stuff than makes a fan base a cult. There is nothing to debate with the new movies. Its around us, teh rock, the tree, it binds us, makes us grow... ****ing awesome. It is not the result of a symbiate (sp?) relationship between little bugs in your blood stream and your brain, or whatever the **** Lucas was smoking... and we can now measure the number of these little parasites? (Theres more of that ST crap... get out the Imperial Tricorder Master Kenobi... **** off)
Corney dialouge. Oh. My. God. It was actually embarressing to be in the theater during some of the exchanges... who me? No, no, I was hear to see Rambo VIII... honest... I must have stumbled into the wrong theatre.
Crap, crap, crap dialouge... and TOO MUCH!!! Some of the best scenes/lines in the original three were the shortest. As an example, I offer the below captioned translations.
Episode V: "I am your father."
Episode I translation: "I happen to be your father from long ago and now Im very angry because Ben lied to you and Im sorry I cut your hand off with my electrum lightsaber, which is composed of synthetic crysals to get that all powerful color and special sound, but fear not as your wound will cautorize (sp?) and heal within time oh son."
Crap.
Episode V: "Bring my shuttle."
Episode I translation: "Please bring my space faring LD-24 Delta wing space faring vehicle that can do 0 to 60 parsecs in 3 nanoseconds, which is the fastest vechile ever made. In case you were wondering, the engines are Super Duper Afterburning Turbojets capable of outrunning any ship in the galaxy."
Crap, crap, and more crap. Im sick of typing. **** Lucas... he ruined a perfectly good thing because he had one too many drinks with Steven that night... have you seen the "Special Edition" SW movies? More crap... the dialouge is ****... again... someone had the bright idea to change EVERY SINGLE LINE from EVERY SINGLE CHARECTAR wearing a mask... crap, crap, crap.
Die Lucus, Die. Die a horrible death at the hands of your plastic lightsaber wielding fans. We will beat you into submission and feast upon your uncooked flesh as we dance around the flaming pile of your worthless movies.
Die.
[/rant]