Rulz for driving in Kalifornia

[Ripsnort]

BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN Kalifornia

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Californian driver never uses them.


2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.


3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.


4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.


5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. California is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn’t have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.


7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It’s a good way to scare people entering the highway.


8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in California during rush hour.


9. Just because you’re in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn’t mean that a California driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.


10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.


11. Learn to swerve abruptly. California is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them on their toes.

12. It is traditional in California to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light turns green.


13. Remember that the goal of every Californian driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

14. In the California ‘flipping someone the bird’ is considered a polite West Coast salute. This gesture should always be returned.


THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY!
:D:D:D

[Furball]

lmao

[midnight Target]

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

That one is pretty true.


OTOH, I would much rather drive at 80mph on a highway next to a California driver, than one from a lesser State....... like Washington.

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by midnight Target
That one is pretty true.


OTOH, I would much rather drive at 80mph on a highway next to a California driver, than one from a lesser State....... like Washington.

Lesser, like less $$ for insurance, or less $$ for speeding tickets...

[lazs2]

thank you for posting the rules... many out of state drivers don't know them... nothing worse than some BMW driver with washington plates poking along at 80 mph in the center lane slowing down traffic and occassionaly scaring everyone with his turn signals.   Like.... we really care where he is going?
lazs

[hawk220]

Nice one Rip.. I think these rules apply to Italy too:D

[funkedup]

It's pretty accurate except for the no-fault part.
The fast lane is the right lane most of the time.

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by lazs2
thank you for posting the rules... many out of state drivers don't know them... nothing worse than some BMW driver with washington plates poking along at 80 mph in the center lane slowing down traffic and occassionaly scaring everyone with his turn signals.   Like.... we really care where he is going?
lazs

We know what makes you slow down to a crawl though, just a hint of rain or a sprinkle or two, Californians pull over to the side of the road.

I can't decide which is worse while driving in the rain up here in WA state (I like to refer to Seattle as "San Franciso North"), the Arizonians or the Southern Californians. (No.Cal is cool, they get similiar weather)

[medicboy]

(No.Cal is cool, they get similiar weather), posted by Ripsnort.....

Thank you, that saved you a long geography lesson.  I live north of lake tahoe in the Sierra Nevada Mts.   I am embarrased to admit I live in Californistan  because most people think Cali only consist of La to SF.  AND STOP CALLING THE GAY BAY NORTHERN CALIFORNIA, ITS CENTRAL!!!!!  LOOK AT A FRIGGEN MAP ITS RIGHT IN THE CENTER.   Northern Ca is places like Chico, Redding, Susanville, Eureaka, Cresent City.  

Rip, we think on similar lines judging from your other post, from NORTHERN Ca.

Have to go mail in my Mule Deer, Pronghorn, and Elk tags....  Later.

Medicboy

[funkedup]

FWIW the Gay Bay gets plenty of rain.

[Ripsnort]

Good point Medicboy!

[Hangtime]

kalifornia drivers are rutabagas.

downstate NY offers the finest roadwarrior conditions in the nation, 24/7.

[Vulcan]

The cop they call 'cash register'
13 May 2003  
By HAYDON DEWES

A Taihape police officer who ticketed 100 speeding motorists in eight hours has been labelled a "cash register" by locals.


Sergeant Steve Gibson, who is in charge of Taihape and Waiouru police, set out to issue 100 tickets during one shift in a 50km/h area on the outskirts of town last Wednesday.

Mr Gibson, who usually concentrates on administrative duties, said he did it to set an example to his staff.

"I was going for 100. If I had to work nine hours, I would have worked nine. It was an example to the troops that it can be done," he said. The combined value of the tickets was about $10,000.

Mr Gibson stood on the footpath on Mataroa Rd using a hand-held speed gun to nab motorists travelling 61km/h or more as they headed north out of the town. All those caught speeding were then pulled over and ticketed.

The top speed recorded was 80km/h, but 65 of the tickets were written for speeds of 61km/h to 65km/h. Mr Gibson said the blitz was part of a zero-tolerance policy on speeding.

One retailer, who did not want to be named, said that petty behaviour by the police meant they were "not well liked" by some townsfolk. "They've done some petty things. Standing on the side of the road ticketing everyone that

goes past isn't policing, it's revenue collection. When that goes on, I don't have any respect for them."

Pub owner Norman Theobald said locals referred to the police as "cash registers". Most of his patrons had become used to the vigorous policing and knew to be careful when driving through town.

But one Mataroa Rd resident said yesterday that the blitzes were doing nothing to stop speeding motorists. "I'm standing here now watching motorists go racing past at 70km/h. Staying out there ticketing everyone is not doing anything for road safety, it's just getting revenue for police."

Mr Gibson said he had received some complaints from locals but insisted they would continue to be treated in the same way as any other motorist. "At the end of the day, I've got no problem with ticketing locals – they should know better."

Police in Taihape and Waiouru are expected to issue three tickets an hour while on traffic patrol.

The average speed in the Taihape area had dropped from 113km/h to 103km/h in the past

12 months as a result of police crackdowns, Mr Gibson said. "We will continue to keep the foot on the throat of speedsters, so to speak."

[Strange]

I thought you had to own a White Ford Bronco? And a Colt Revolver and drive down the highway (what was it the 410??)

[NUKE]

Originally posted by Ripsnort
We know what makes you slow down to a crawl though, just a hint of rain or a sprinkle or two, Californians pull over to the side of the road.

I can't decide which is worse while driving in the rain up here in WA state (I like to refer to Seattle as "San Franciso North"), the Arizonians or the Southern Californians. (No.Cal is cool, they get similiar weather)

It doesn't rain a lot in central Arizona, but you have never seen rain like a good seasonal monsoon rain in Arizona. Pretty much hurricane force winds , rain, hail...... very bad, yet exciting too.