Rulz for driving in Kalifornia

[Pei]

Originally posted by Ripsnort
BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN Kalifornia

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Californian driver never uses them.


2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.


3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.


4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.


5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. California is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn’t have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.


7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It’s a good way to scare people entering the highway.


8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in California during rush hour.


9. Just because you’re in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn’t mean that a California driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.


10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.


11. Learn to swerve abruptly. California is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them on their toes.

12. It is traditional in California to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light turns green.


13. Remember that the goal of every Californian driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

14. In the California ‘flipping someone the bird’ is considered a polite West Coast salute. This gesture should always be returned.


THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY!
:D:D:D

flashback to driving on the I680 north from dublin to san ramon in rush hour...

[Montezuma]

Originally posted by Ripsnort
BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN Kalifornia [sic]
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Californian driver never uses them.
 

A real Ca. driver never even turns his head when changing lanes, because other people might see.  And if someone sees you trying to change lanes, they must follow rule #2:

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

When it rains, people keep doing this.  So there are LOTS of crashes when it rains.  When driving past a crash, people will slow down to watch. Under no circumstances will anyone stop to help, unless they are visitors from another state.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. California is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn’t have anything to lose.

California is not a no-fault state.  The insurance companies wanted it but 'we the people' kicked their bellybutton at the ballot box.  The problem with old cars that need bodywork is that they are often driven by illegal aliens with no insurance.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in California during rush hour.

This is true.  A sign that says 'Speed Limit' on a streets IS a suggestion.  The actual speed permitted is the 85th percentile of the average speed of the road.  This is done to prevent local governments from setting up 'speed traps' with artificially low speeds.  However, a sign that says 'Maximum Speed' on a road is in fact the maximum speed allowed on that road.

During rush hour there are too many cars and wrecks for speed enforcement.  The CHP normally doesn't even use radar.

12. It is traditional in California to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light turns green.

You never know if the person in front of you is spaced out on the phone, staring into a mirror, reading a fax, god knows what -HONK HONK - WAKE UP squeak LETS GO!@!!

[Hooligan]

For those of you who haven't had the good fortune to live in WA state here are the rules for that state.

1)  SLOW DOWN!!!   You are missing the scenery.

2)  You may as well move to the left lane while you are at it.

Hooligan

[hawk220]

you're so right, Hooligan..

dont forget:

* Never honk..never. even if someone is about to smash into you, never use your horn.