Author Topic: I am..... the Crocodile Hunter (Read 553 times)

midnight Target · « **on:** July 09, 2003, 06:41:33 PM »

I had to share, this just happened......

We have 3 plants and I drive between them all (being the huge mucky muck that I am..) all the time.

Today whil leaving plant #1 I see a very large looking snake in the road about 1/2 block from the parking lot, and as it happens directly across from the local animal shelter. This is only significant when you realize I could have easily gotten help.. but I digress.

Being the former bio-sci major and general animal goofball that I am, I decide to "rescue" this snake before it gets squished.

So I pull my jeep-wanna-be off to the side of the road and back up to a point just across from the snake. Across the street from me is the animal shelter, on my side of the street is a big open field of 100 acres or more.

The snake was curled up in the road and I was unsure whether it was already dead. So I got me a really long stick out of the field and cautiously approach the snake. It had markings similar to a rattler, and rattlers are very common around here.

When I reached the coiled beasty I realized right away it was a Gopher snake..

But it was a pretty big one. Not exaggerating, he was about 6' long and almost 2" in diameter. And did I mention that he was REALLY PISSED OFF!

Cars had been stradling him for a while and he was coiled up in the strike position and hissing like a mofo! So I bravely stick out my loooooong stick to coax him off the asphalt. He took the hint pretty quickly, and started making a beeline right at me!

I thought to myself... self I said... this ain't right! So I back up and he keeps coming... fast. So I step aside... and he goes right by me. Whew I think... that was weird there for a minute, but all's well.... then i turn to see where he has always been headed.

Into MY CAR!

Well into my wheel well!

So much for that good samaritan feeling.... dam snake!

So I hunker down to look in my wheel well, and there he is... wrapped around the shock and hissing and striking like I wasn't his best friend in the world!

So I get my stick and I start trying that Croc Hunter deal where he grabs the tail and holds the venemous beast safely at bay while he discusses how crackin beautiful this fella is.....

Mr. Gopher snake liked it where he was.

He liked it a lot.

I decided my stick needed to be a .22

But I kept at it..... for at least 20 minutes I kept at it. (Remember there are professionals ACROSS THE STREET)

I finally caught him looking the other way and grabbed his tail with one hand while keeping the head at bay with the stick... it was dicey.

Now remember the Croc Hunter thingy where you holdem by the tail and stay safely away from those nasty teeth....

BS.

This bastard was very capable of reaching any portion of my anatomy while I held onto his stupid carjackin tail.

I ended up sending him about 50 acres into that 100 acre field.... in one toss.

I love animals..

Estes · « **Reply #1 on:** July 09, 2003, 07:03:52 PM »

You should have done the Croc Hunter on Southpark approach, "I'm going to ram my thumb right up his butthole!"

Tarmac · « **Reply #2 on:** July 09, 2003, 07:04:45 PM »

Always wondered how the croc hunter did that tail-hold thing... I figured out when I was about 6 years old that it does't work.

Still have 2 neat little round scars from that garter snake.

Gunthr · « **Reply #3 on:** July 09, 2003, 07:15:12 PM »

Crikey! That was a grumpy shiela!

Saurdaukar · « **Reply #4 on:** July 09, 2003, 07:17:42 PM »

Now... what we gonna do is... get up behind him and stick me thumb up his bum!!!

Then we're gonna throw rocks at it!

Ripsnort · « **Reply #5 on:** July 09, 2003, 07:46:06 PM »

You need to hold it waaay out, horizontal, and tilt your wrist straight down, this bears all the weight of the snake on itself, then position the stick on its mid section or below and press downward when it coils up. Seen cowboys in Montana do it with rattlers just for ships and grins.

Eagler · « **Reply #6 on:** July 09, 2003, 08:21:43 PM »

chased a "pigmy rattler" round the patio for bout 30 min last Friday. Finally cornered it, and bravely whacked his head off with the shovel. Closer examination revealed it was a harmless garder snake

oh well, the lizards were happy.........

-tronski- · « **Reply #7 on:** July 09, 2003, 09:18:06 PM »

Tronsky

Dead Man Flying · « **Reply #8 on:** July 09, 2003, 10:12:47 PM »

I smell a Darwin Award in your future, MT.

-- Todd/Leviathn

Estes · « **Reply #9 on:** July 09, 2003, 10:14:05 PM »

That guy is insane. I remember seeing this one episode where he got bit on the lip! You know, you think that should tell you something like, your too close! If I ever take a bite from a snake it’s going to be on the bellybutton because I’m going to be running like John Rocker through New York.

pugg666 · « **Reply #10 on:** July 09, 2003, 10:33:11 PM »

anyone remember those old claymation crock hunter spoofs on SNl?

I keep expecting that to happen to him any time I see his show

crazy bastige

midnight Target · « **Reply #11 on:** July 10, 2003, 04:33:53 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Ripsnort
You need to hold it waaay out, horizontal, and tilt your wrist straight down, this bears all the weight of the snake on itself, then position the stick on its mid section or below and press downward when it coils up. Seen cowboys in Montana do it with rattlers just for ships and grins.

If only you had been there......

Ripsnort · « **Reply #12 on:** July 10, 2003, 05:06:32 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by midnight Target
If only you had been there......

If only you'd been where I witnessed it done by common ranch hands...

(thats not saying I'd try it!)

loser · « **Reply #13 on:** July 10, 2003, 06:39:09 PM »

Hehe good story MT. I frikken hate snakes. I woulda put my car in reverse and bailed.

rpm · « **Reply #14 on:** July 10, 2003, 07:13:10 PM »

MT the flaw in your plan was the stick used. To do that trick properly you need to use a 12 Gauge shotgun.