A friend of mine, from out of state and transplanted here, sent this to me. Some of you may have had similar views
1. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few
no one has ever seen before.
4. Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are ripe.
5. If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!
6. Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
7. There are valid reasons why some people put razor wire around their house.
8. A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
9. The wind blows at 90 mph from March 2 till July 25, then it stops until March 2.
10. Onced and twiced are words. (In some parts of Texas these words are
pronounced oncet and twicet.)
11. Coldbeer is one word.
12. People actually grow and eat okra.(Amen: Fried, boiled, and in Gumbo)
13. Green grass DOES burn.
14. When you live in the country you never have to buy a dog. City people
drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.
15. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first
few weeks. Then you use them for target practice.
16. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a
doctor.
17. Fixin'ta is one word. (As is, Goin'ta)
18. A TANK is a dirt hole that holds water for irrigation, watering the
cows, or swimming.
19. There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then
there's supper.
20. "Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking
it when you are two.
21. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
22. "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "did you eat?" In some parts of
Texas it's "yaetyet?" meaning "have you eaten yet?"
23. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
24. "Facks" are easily recognized truths. (See Items 1 thru 23 above for
examples.)
Also, You know you are a Texan if:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
4. You see a car with the engine running with no one
in it, no mater what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin'ta go to the store.
(Note: See Item 17 above.)
6. You know all the festivals across the state are named
after a fruit or a vegetable.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables for your own car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
l0. You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup,
and Tabasco.
11. You think everyone from North of Dallas has an accent.
12. You think sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
13. The local papers cover national and international news on one page
but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
14. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
15. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
16. You find 100+ degrees a "tad" warm
17. You know the names of all four seasons by heart:
Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
18. You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South
Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.
19 Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin' Wal-Martin."
20. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili
weather.
21. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...It's a Coke
regardless of brand or flavor.
22. Texans sometimes brag but mostly just quote "facks."
22. You understand these jokes!
