Originally posted by Monk
Hmmm.......very nice Wulfie.
I think I found a running mate for Toad.
The only political office I would ever hold would have something to do with violence, secrecy, unaccountability, Swedish women under the age of 25, Hemicudas, and Jagermeister and it would be during FunkedUp's Presidency. I'd also probably need lazs on board as some sort of PR/propoganda/foreign ministry official.
When we went down fighting in a blaze of glory, news reports along the lines of this report would surface as they overran my secret compound...
Current Events Real Story:
"BAGHDAD, Iraq - The doors of the town house opened to reveal a playboy's fantasy straight from the 1960s: mirrored bedroom, lamps shaped like women, air-brushed paintings of a topless blonde woman and a mustached hero battling a crocodile.
Next door, where iron sheets were welded over all the windows, they found more than 6,000 Berretta pistols, 650 Sig Sauer pistols, 248 Colt Revolvers, 160 Belgian 7.65 mm pistols, 12 cases of Sterling submachine guns and four cases of anti-tank missiles all still in the unopened original boxes. There were also tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition mortars and cases of old handguns and heavy machine guns."
When Our Grand Scheme For World Unity Fails version of the Story:
"Maui, Hawaii, U.S.A. - The doors of the town house opened to reveal a playboy's fantasy straight from the 1960s: mirrored bedroom, lamps shaped like women, air-brushed paintings of a topless blonde Swedish woman almost certainly under the age of 25 and a naked Jagermeister-coated hero battling a Great White shark. Next door, where depleted uranium sheets were welded over all the windows, they found more than 6,000 Colt 1911 pistols, 650 Sig Sauer pistols, 248 Colt Revolvers, 160 9mm fully automatic Russian pistols
(editor note: I always loved 9mm Stechkin MPs)[/i], 12 cases of Thompson submachine guns and four cases of anti-tank missiles all still in the unopened original boxes and loaded into a fleet of Black 'Hemicuda' 'muscle cars'. There were also tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition mortars and cases of old handguns and heavy machine guns, all apparently stockpiled to protect the world's largest freezer containing a nearly unfathomable ammount of Jagermeister and 'Presidential' corndogs'."
FunkedUp for President!
Mike/wulfie