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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Maverick on June 19, 2011, 12:56:00 PM

Title: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Maverick on June 19, 2011, 12:56:00 PM
A 92-year-old man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, my wife, who is 18, is expecting a baby." The doctor said, "Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of his gun, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. And when a bear suddenly charged at him, he pointed his umbrella at the bear, shot at it, and killed it on the spot." The old man replied, "Impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear!" Replied the doctor, "My point, exactly!"


 :D :devil
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: gyrene81 on June 19, 2011, 12:58:09 PM
ok now that's hilarious... (http://i717.photobucket.com/albums/ww173/prestonjjrtr/Funny/SmileyROFLMAO.gif)
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: B-17 on June 19, 2011, 12:58:30 PM
 :rofl :rofl :rofl good one :aok
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Penguin on June 19, 2011, 01:00:00 PM
I'm not sure I got this right, but:

The old guy didn't knock up his eighteen year old wife, another man did.

-Penguin
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: 68ZooM on June 19, 2011, 01:03:13 PM
I'm not sure I got this right, but:

The old guy didn't knock up his eighteen year old wife, another man did.

-Penguin
Bingo,  there is hope for you yet Penguin
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: fudgums on June 19, 2011, 01:07:50 PM
Hahahahaha


Wtg penguin!
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Penguin on June 19, 2011, 01:18:27 PM
I really don't see how that is offensive.  I guess you could stretch it and say that you're calling her a slut, but those kinds of girls exist (and I've had the pleasure dancing with them :devil).

-Penguin
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: gyrene81 on June 19, 2011, 01:53:35 PM
I really don't see how that is offensive.  I guess you could stretch it and say that you're calling her a slut, but those kinds of girls exist (and I've had the pleasure dancing with them :devil).

-Penguin
the idea that it might be offensive was likely based on your reply to the mother in law joke.

how do you assume to know a girl is a "slut" just by dancing with her?   :headscratch: obviously can't be much of one if all she did was dance.
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Penguin on June 19, 2011, 02:08:35 PM
the idea that it might be offensive was likely based on your reply to the mother in law joke.

how do you assume to know a girl is a "slut" just by dancing with her?   :headscratch: obviously can't be much of one if all she did was dance.

No, I knew that they were sluts beforehand, and then I danced with them.  To put it poetically: it was glorious.

-Penguin
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: gyrene81 on June 19, 2011, 02:13:18 PM
No, I knew that they were sluts beforehand, and then I danced with them.  To put it poetically: it was glorious.

-Penguin
ok, i know i'm going to regret asking this but...how did you "know", first hand experience or second hand rumor?
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Meatwad on June 19, 2011, 02:31:06 PM
Dang, someone beat me to it
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Penguin on June 19, 2011, 02:59:16 PM
A bit of both, really.  It wasn't hard to tell, she'd dirty dance with one guy, then another, then another.  There were so many of them that it was like an all-you-can-eat buffet.  I got around ten, and everyone in my school was very surprised.  I'd get remarks like (I kid you not)

Hey man, I heard you were running show last night
How many did you grind?
Did you hear about him at Semi?

It was great.

-Penguin
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Becinhu on June 19, 2011, 03:00:34 PM
 :headscratch: :huh
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Pigslilspaz on June 19, 2011, 03:25:34 PM
Wow, there is hope for him. Penguin, you've made me see that you still can't judge a book by reading the first couple of chapters.
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Tr1gg22 on June 19, 2011, 03:30:50 PM
 :aok
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Belial on June 19, 2011, 05:27:22 PM
No, I knew that they were sluts beforehand, and then I danced with them.  To put it poetically: it was glorious.

-Penguin

So all you got was a dance from a known hussy?  Need to work on your game lol
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Penguin on June 19, 2011, 05:31:22 PM
No, no, I didn't say that.  I danced with all the hussies I knew, and then moved on to the rest. :devil

-Penguin
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: gyrene81 on June 19, 2011, 05:53:58 PM
penguin, you are a male chauvinist. you based a girls reputation on the way she dances and second hand rumor. just because a girl will do the dirty grind on you while dancing, it doesn't mean she's an easy slut. and young male teens will say almost anything so other male teens will envy them.
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Maverick on June 19, 2011, 06:07:51 PM
I think the next thread I start I'll just say no aquatic birds need click it.
 :huh
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: gyrene81 on June 19, 2011, 06:22:41 PM
I think the next thread I start I'll just say no aquatic birds need click it.
 :huh
:rofl  :lol  :aok

you know we're going to give him a hard time...his foot must really taste good for him to keep putting it in his mouth.  :D
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Penguin on June 19, 2011, 06:31:01 PM
penguin, you are a male chauvinist. you based a girls reputation on the way she dances and second hand rumor. just because a girl will do the dirty grind on you while dancing, it doesn't mean she's an easy slut. and young male teens will say almost anything so other male teens will envy them.

No, I'm not.  It wasn't second hand rumor.  It wasn't the dancing, either.  These were junior and sophmore girls, I'm a freshman, and not very studly either.  They did it to absoultely every guy that came by them, and I've met them outside as well.  By no means do I condemn them for this- it was a blast!  Not all of them did it, though.  Most just stood around chatting, just like many of the guys.

Furthermore, I did not disparage, denigarate or disrespect these girls.  No meant no, and if they didn't want to, I stopped there.

Define bragging.  Is bragging making stuff up?  Or is it overstating something that is of lesser importance?  What I've said is true, but perhaps I overdid it.

-Penguin
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Meatwad on June 19, 2011, 06:31:31 PM
I think the next thread I start I'll just say no aquatic birds need click it.
 :huh

Flight capable or flightless?
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: gyrene81 on June 19, 2011, 06:41:15 PM
Furthermore, I did not disparage, denigarate or disrespect these girls.  No meant no, and if they didn't want to, I stopped there.

-Penguin
evidently your idea of disparage, denigrate and disrespect is different than everyone else.


No, I knew that they were sluts beforehand, and then I danced with them.
-Penguin


A bit of both, really.  It wasn't hard to tell, she'd dirty dance with one guy, then another, then another.

-Penguin
chauvinist
 :lol  :lol  :lol  :lol
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: F22RaptorDude on June 19, 2011, 06:53:34 PM
 :rofl :rofl :rofl I can't remember how long ago it was since I heard that.
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Penguin on June 19, 2011, 07:12:56 PM
evidently your idea of disparage, denigrate and disrespect is different than everyone else.


chauvinist
 :lol  :lol  :lol  :lol

I shouldn't have bitten this trollbait:

So all you got was a dance from a known hussy?  Need to work on your game lol

How he managed to get me to dig myself into such a hole, I'll never know for sure.  This is my best guess:

I tried to defend the fact that I had dirty danced, but then realized that in calling them sluts I was acting like a pig without knowing.  Now I realize that I've been insulting them all this time, in fact incorporating it into my arguments like it was just another word.  It wasn't my intention to insult them at all, it was the perfectly laid trollbait that managed to get me to use the word slut.  Epic fail on my part.

This is why I've only won a single game of chess in my entire life.  I treat landmines like teddybears.  Man, these last few days have been brutal- I haven't won a single debate and I've managed to steep myself in thirty feet of turd.  Now, I've become an accidental chauvanist and look like a fool.

-Penguin
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: F22RaptorDude on June 19, 2011, 07:17:00 PM
I shouldn't have bitten this trollbait:

How he managed to get me to dig myself into such a hole, I'll never know for sure.  This is my best guess:

I tried to defend the fact that I had dirty danced, but then realized that in calling them sluts I was acting like a pig without knowing.  Now I realize that I've been insulting them all this time, in fact incorporating it into my arguments like it was just another word.  It wasn't my intention to insult them at all, it was the perfectly laid trollbait that managed to get me to use the word slut.  Epic fail on my part.

This is why I've only won a single game of chess in my entire life.  I treat landmines like teddybears.  Man, these last few days have been brutal- I haven't won a single debate and I've managed to steep myself in thirty feet of turd.  Now, I've become an accidental chauvanist and look like a fool.

-Penguin
Sometimes all you need to do is put the lol face and laugh with the joke and not ask questions or question the logic Thats whats digging your hole
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Penguin on June 19, 2011, 07:22:42 PM
Exactly.

-Penguin
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: B-17 on June 19, 2011, 09:07:48 PM
everyones happy now  :)
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Penguin on June 19, 2011, 09:12:41 PM
Another day, another defeat.

-Penguin
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: B-17 on June 19, 2011, 09:18:10 PM
learn from them. its what i (try) to do  :aok
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: SuperDud on June 19, 2011, 09:20:32 PM
Talk(type) less.... listen(read) more. Your in the game with guys who've been at it for years and love to troll.
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: FiLtH on June 19, 2011, 09:32:19 PM
Back to the topic...good one :)
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Maverick on June 19, 2011, 09:37:24 PM
Flight capable or flightless?
Clueless is the correct description I believe.
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: dedalos on June 20, 2011, 12:33:34 PM
ok, i know i'm going to regret asking this but...how did you "know", first hand experience or second hand rumor?

Hey Einstein, I don't think he means "dance" dance.  He means dance "Dance".  Get it?  :lol

Now Grizz has to redo your card again
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: gyrene81 on June 20, 2011, 01:43:16 PM
Hey Einstein, I don't think he means "dance" dance.  He means dance "Dance".  Get it?  :lol

Now Grizz has to redo your card again
thanks for the compliment, did you come up with that on your own or did the same person who helps you tie your shoes help you write that? just a bit sad that no one can accuse you of possessing any real intellect.

he meant dance, as in fully clothed bodily movement in a vertical position to the beat of music.

Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: dedalos on June 20, 2011, 01:56:48 PM
did you come up with that on your own or did the same person who helps you tie your shoes help you write that?

I don't tie my shoes, so no, it was all me thank you  ;)
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: SKColt on June 20, 2011, 02:32:40 PM
The banker met his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher in town.  Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a "mail order" bride.
 
Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.
 
Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
 
Tom proudly said, "She'll turn twenty-one in November."
 
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.
 
Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, sensing that nature would take its own course.
 
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
 
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.
 
"How's the new wife?", asked the banker.

Tom proudly said, "Great! And she's pregnant!"
 
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, "And how's that new hired hand?"
 
Without hesitating, Tom said, "Fine!  And she's pregnant too!!"
 
Don't ever underestimate old farts!
Title: Re: Father's day funny. Easily offended need not click on thread
Post by: Vudu15 on June 21, 2011, 06:35:44 AM
I don't know how you do it penguin but you seem to put your foot right into your mouth in almost every thread your involved in.  :headscratch: