Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => Axis vs Allies => Topic started by: Plawranc on December 07, 2011, 01:52:07 AM

Title: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Plawranc on December 07, 2011, 01:52:07 AM
A curious calm settled over the AVA, nothing stirred save the sticks of a few noobs coming to grips with the game and its extreme learning curve. Normally this would raise ridicule in the great halls of the Main Arenas where most players dwelled... alas no... here there was so much aerial incompetence that getting off the ground and remaining airworthy was an event of great occasion... it is said that many AVA pilots demanded Cake at the very onset of their first successful flight... The Arena Cook however... was normally unconcious after being knocked out for the safety of the entire arena population.

However a curious wave of new ideas was taking shape... the Battle of Britain set up held many months ago, in which we learnt of our characters and their foibles... had long since departed... instead there took shape a new era... an old era.... older than Oldman era.... an era so old that it was considered obsolete by many... (except oldman who said that the aircraft here flew at much more his pace). No... here were the flying lawnmowers... and their 80 MPH speed limits... their old fangled two wings... the wires in which CAP decided to hang his dirty underwear from.. and of course, the fixed undercarriages which was an ironic term since the entire population of the arena was more in a habit of calling them BROKEN undercarriages... (hence why CAP has so much dirty underwear)

Nevertheless, a quiet airbase on the simulated Western Front (16-18), was the scene of much activity... of course this was to scale and as any activity in here at all was sizable... this was positively gigantic.

Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Plawranc on December 07, 2011, 02:06:06 AM
"What do you mean you suffered speed sickness.... these things go the speed of a hobo walking FLAT OUT" said Pacman incredulously "I mean, Flossy can out run CAP .... WHILE HE IS IN HIS CAMEL... I mean seriously it would be more hazardous getting out and WALKING"

"Hey its not healthy, these Fokkers fly damn fast, so fast that I almost lost a filling" replied Jaeger tenuously "Besides, I don't see you having much success, last sortie you got really friendly with a hedge so I'm told.... after losing your wings" "I DID NOT LOSE THEM, PUMA STOLE THEM WHILE I WAS HAVING A PEE IN SAID HEDGE" "Now thats a bigger pile of bull.." "NO ITS NOT, IT WAS A SMALL PILE"

"Gentleman please.." chimed in Tequila Chaser now taking an interest "we are not here to argue, we are here to discuss various methods of striking the enemy, not have petty domestic squabbles" "Oh and how do you suppose we do that boss" replied Pacman irritated "I will lean out and yell nasty words, we dont have bombs, unless you count Shifty's fart in the O'Club last week, and even then thats pushing it" "it is historically accurate though, mustard and prostghene gas were both used, Shifty's quite literally shIIts on both of them" smiled Dicho.

At that moment a Camel whizzed low over the sheds and tore all control surfaces off as it cartwheeled into the ground. Moments later a dishevelled figure emerged from the wreckage scratching his head

"Looks like crazy just got here" said Pacman in an exasperated tone... however the interests of the group were about to be seized as a second camel landed and taxiid up to the sheds where the pilots were standing. Another figure hopped out and then kicked the tire. He stood out right away, his flying suit was not leather... it was rather a different type of fabric, almost synthetic... whatever it was, it was a non animal product .

He needed no intro, as his noseart gave it away reading "Bacon is Murder..." with a picture of a pig holding a cleaver.

"hey bustr"
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 07, 2011, 05:55:36 AM
 Just as dumb as the first batch.  Is mommy telling you you're a writer or something? Seriously these things suck.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: captain1ma on December 07, 2011, 07:19:31 AM
NICE!
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: waystin2 on December 07, 2011, 08:58:10 AM
"Bacon is Murder..." with a picture of a pig holding a cleaver.


I like it! :D
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 07, 2011, 10:00:40 AM
Just as dumb as the first batch.  Is mommy telling you you're a writer or something? Seriously these things suck.
Stop being a d-bag, if ya  dont like  it  dont  read it and  keep your  opinions to yourself  if  you're going to get personal about things.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: tmetal on December 07, 2011, 03:32:33 PM
Enjoyed the previous ones and was starting to wonder if there was going to be more. Keep em coming.  :aok
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 07, 2011, 03:45:32 PM
Stop being a d-bag, if ya  dont like  it  dont  read it and  keep your  opinions to yourself  if  you're going to get personal about things.

Don't want my opinion, don't put my name in it. Pretty simple rule of thumb really. Of course since your first reaction is to call somebody D-bag you're not really qualified to scold anybody on getting personal.. Are you?
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 07, 2011, 03:49:33 PM
first reaction is to call somebody D-bag you're not really qualified to scold anybody on getting personal.. Are you?
No  I am EXACTLY the one  who  needs to call you out  if  I think your  being   a  love muffin then your really  being a love muffin, if you take umbrage what was  said  about "Shifty" dropping bombs in the o'club you really need to toughen up little lady, that or  you're just trolling  which is  itself is a  dbag act thus  making you a d-bag
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 07, 2011, 03:57:26 PM
Shifty please complete and submit  along with your request that nobody ever make  up obvious fiction about "Shifty" ever again



(http://ampersandartful.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/butthurt-report-form.jpg)
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 07, 2011, 04:00:33 PM
No you're not. Just because you think you are means nothing in fact your quote...
No  I am EXACTLY the one  who  needs to call you out  if  I think your  being   a  love muffin then your really  being a love muffin, if you take umbrage what was  said  about "Shifty" dropping bombs in the o'club you really need to toughen up little lady, that or  you're just trolling  which is  itself is a  dbag act thus  making you a d-bag
Is proof positive that you're emotionally in over your head. Again you're the one name calling and getting personal. I was mentioned and I have the right to be give my view on the content. It doesn't matter if you like it or not and it doesn't matter what you think. Like I said if you don't want my opinion don't mention me in the text. If you can't grasp that maybe you should stay out of it, because it all seems to be over your head.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Plawranc on December 07, 2011, 05:19:46 PM
No, my mom is dead, she can't tell me Im a writer.

And yes, I am, funnily enough I am a literary student at the University of Adelaide Senior College. But I like writing these cheap short stories because it raises a cheap laugh and gives the members of this board something to read.

If you want intelligent literature or amazing fiction perhaps read a published author. Or in fact, go do something useful and write yourself, perhaps you may be a better critic of fiction or even a journalist. 

Im an Australian, I make fun of everyone, and as you read above, myself as well. If you can't laugh. Your in the wrong game and the wrong environment.

Oh and if you don't wanna be in it? Tough, because your a character HERE. Its not your real name so its no legal issue, and if you can't take getting made fun of? then you don't have many stones to throw in the immaturity department.

With kind regards...
Pacman
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: TequilaChaser on December 07, 2011, 05:20:12 PM
heh.......  guess I was spotted in the AvsA recently...........didn't think anyone noticed <grin>



<S>

TC
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 07, 2011, 06:00:13 PM
No you're not. Just because you think you are means nothing in fact your quote... Is proof positive that you're emotionally in over your head. Again you're the one name calling and getting personal. I was mentioned and I have the right to be give my view on the content. It doesn't matter if you like it or not and it doesn't matter what you think. Like I said if you don't want my opinion don't mention me in the text. If you can't grasp that maybe you should stay out of it, because it all seems to be over your head.

I have  no  emotional attachment to the story whatsoever  but  your reply to it  was completely and utterly emo, and over the  top. A cartoon pilot in  a  fictional story  in a  game  gets you hot and bothered enough be a jack hole  and   say somthing like you did  instead of  simply sayg "I dont liek thislease edit me out"  tells me that puilling your  tail will be  easy and  well worth the time  as you are a complete jackhole and  I can make that  judgment  because I am a  jackhole aswell and as such I am  exactly the  person that needs to call you out when you  go  above the bar  in you jackholery. That or your  a troll and  dont  like  being calle dout  for  being such a jackhole  becaus etrolling is  jackholery at its  finest.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 07, 2011, 06:22:36 PM
No, my mom is dead, she can't tell me Im a writer.

And yes, I am, funnily enough I am a literary student at the University of Adelaide Senior College. But I like writing these cheap short stories because it raises a cheap laugh and gives the members of this board something to read.

If you want intelligent literature or amazing fiction perhaps read a published author. Or in fact, go do something useful and write yourself, perhaps you may be a better critic of fiction or even a journalist. 

Im an Australian, I make fun of everyone, and as you read above, myself as well. If you can't laugh. Your in the wrong game and the wrong environment.

Oh and if you don't wanna be in it? Tough, because your a character HERE. Its not your real name so its no legal issue, and if you can't take getting made fun of? then you don't have many stones to throw in the immaturity department.

With kind regards... FOAD.

Pacman

Now that's writing.  :aok

Oh I can laugh, I just don't get a laugh out of your stuff. It hasn't been for a lack of trying. I've read all your stuff and it just isnt funny (to me). You do seem to have a following so maybe my sense of humor isnt tuned in to your wave length. Sorry I just can't fawn all over what you write like some. Then again you said it yourself. If you don't like it you're in the wrong enviroment that goes both ways. If you're going to write you're going to have fans and critics. As far as a leagal issue you're right there is no legal issue. I never said there were any. I never said you needed to keep me out of your stuff I just said if you hadn't mentioned me I wouldn't have given my opinion. One good fart deserves another doesnt it?  :D However there are forum rules and people don't have to be mentioned in your literary efforts if they choose not to be. You might remember that in case you do piss somebody off one day. Seriously I hope you do keep writing I wish you success at it and I hope one day I get it. Right now its crap in my opinion, but then again that's my opinion.  As far as FOAD... That won't work for me. I get as far as the F and have so much fun I never make it to the OAD.  ;)

<S>
Shifty
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 07, 2011, 06:23:49 PM
I have  no  emotional attachment to the story whatsoever  but  your reply to it  was completely and utterly emo, and over the  top. A cartoon pilot in  a  fictional story  in a  game  gets you hot and bothered enough be a jack hole  and   say somthing like you did  instead of  simply sayg "I dont liek thislease edit me out"  tells me that puilling your  tail will be  easy and  well worth the time  as you are a complete jackhole and  I can make that  judgment  because I am a  jackhole aswell and as such I am  exactly the  person that needs to call you out when you  go  above the bar  in you jackholery. That or your  a troll and  dont  like  being calle dout  for  being such a jackhole  becaus etrolling is  jackholery at its  finest.

 :lol

 Jebus and that was after editing... Is it the cocktail hour there?
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 07, 2011, 06:56:21 PM
:lol

 Jebus and that was after editing... Is it the cocktail hour there?
No im on hour 12 of 14  of near continuos TYPING :O, and  the window shrunken  dow  when I can read  a  thread on the sly but  a resonse I cannot see so  I edit after posting but  still its iffy. Can we  make  up a fictional pilot of a  cartoon plane in a  made up game on the   computer and talk about him? Call him Swiffy  or some such/


Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 07, 2011, 07:04:55 PM
No im on hour 12 of 14  of near continuos TYPING :O, and  the window shrunken  dow  when I can read  a  thread on the sly but  a resonse I cannot see so  I edit after posting but  still its iffy. Can we  make  up a fictional pilot of a  cartoon plane in a  made up game on the   computer and talk about him? Call him Swiffy  or some such/




14 hours... Ugh, just saying if it was me I'd declare it cocktail hour anyway and take a break.  :aok
If I get called Swiify this evening, thats a turn for the better IMO.  :D
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 07, 2011, 07:47:30 PM
yeah, on top of that I usually on  take a singe 30 min break but I go goof  around  every  45 mins  or  so. If  I was  foing physicall manual labor it wouldnt be so bad  but  sitting in the  same spot   using the  same 38(ish) keys  to type things  in gets a little  monotonous.  Forget  the cocktail I just wanna  go home  and  take  my work shoes off.I hate whe I forget my "desk slippers" Maybe I'll sneak into the server room and  take a nap.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: B-17 on December 07, 2011, 08:25:26 PM
SHUT UP AND ENJOY THE HUMOUR.

















I'm done.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 07, 2011, 08:29:29 PM
yeah, on top of that I usually on  take a singe 30 min break but I go goof  around  every  45 mins  or  so. If  I was  foing physicall manual labor it wouldnt be so bad  but  sitting in the  same spot   using the  same 38(ish) keys  to type things  in gets a little  monotonous.  Forget  the cocktail I just wanna  go home  and  take  my work shoes off.I hate whe I forget my "desk slippers" Maybe I'll sneak into the server room and  take a nap.

LOL I'm trying to write the Objectives for Frame -3 of the FSO after digging ditches all day I'm wanting to hit the sack as well. I'm about done though.. As long as I didn't get everyones assignments backwards because I was purse fighting in the AVA forums.  :uhoh
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: TequilaChaser on December 07, 2011, 08:50:53 PM
I'm done.

^ Technical Foul

you know those claims supposed to go in the General Discussion forum under their own "I'm done."  thread


Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 07, 2011, 08:55:55 PM
I was purse fighting in the AVA forums.  :uhoh

Its a  Satchel dammit!
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 07, 2011, 08:57:21 PM
LOL I'm trying to write the Objectives for Frame -3 of the FSO after digging ditches all day I'm wanting to hit the sack as well. I'm about done though.. As long as I didn't get everyones assignments backwards because I was purse fighting in the AVA forums.  :uhoh

Im done with those working outside days. I'm way too fat and  lazy for that.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 07, 2011, 10:10:42 PM
Its a  Satchel dammit!

And it's European.


Im done with those working outside days. I'm way too fat and  lazy for that.

I got the opposite. Had a nice cozy technical writing job. Then the big layoff, now I work on a phone company's construction crew. I'm old fat and have no choice but to work outside.  That's okay though at my what doesn't kill me only makes me more worn out.

Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 07, 2011, 11:44:49 PM
And it's European.


I got the opposite. Had a nice cozy technical writing job. Then the big layoff, now I work on a phone company's construction crew. I'm old fat and have no choice but to work outside.  That's okay though at my what doesn't kill me only makes me more worn out.



Yeah, I do miss it sometimes tho when its low  80s and nice outside, plus being the only guy in my area  I take the  blame for everything! Someone  has  a fight with the hubby before work Im gonna get it  from all of them.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 08, 2011, 05:43:22 AM
Someone  has  a fight with the hubby before work Im gonna get it  from all of them.

 :lol
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: branch37 on December 08, 2011, 01:13:51 PM
Be careful guys.....Shifty keeps horseshoes in his purse.  :devil
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 08, 2011, 02:50:26 PM
Be careful guys.....Shifty keeps horseshoes in his purse.  :devil

We already decided its  a  Satchel!

(http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/8/2/6304decf-c8bd-43e6-8c79-f9ea189f9ee7.jpg)
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 08, 2011, 04:07:24 PM
Nathan don't take your eyes off your purse,, err satchel when Branch is in the room.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: tmetal on December 08, 2011, 04:21:45 PM
does it have "80 tousan darra" in it?
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Melvin on December 08, 2011, 11:40:55 PM
See Rule #4
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: CAP1 on December 09, 2011, 09:43:33 AM
I have  no  emotional attachment to the story whatsoever  but  your reply to it  was completely and utterly emo, and over the  top. A cartoon pilot in  a  fictional story  in a  game  gets you hot and bothered enough be a jack hole  and   say somthing like you did  instead of  simply sayg "I dont liek thislease edit me out"  tells me that puilling your  tail will be  easy and  well worth the time  as you are a complete jackhole and  I can make that  judgment  because I am a  jackhole aswell and as such I am  exactly the  person that needs to call you out when you  go  above the bar  in you jackholery. That or your  a troll and  dont  like  being calle dout  for  being such a jackhole  becaus etrolling is  jackholery at its  finest.

 ya know....i wasn't gonna jump in here........

you originally told shifty he could've ignored it. all he did was give his opinion. nothing wrong with that. you could have ignored his opinion, and this wouldn't be going on right now.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 09, 2011, 10:25:39 AM
ya know....i wasn't gonna jump in here........

you originally told shifty he could've ignored it. all he did was give his opinion. nothing wrong with that. you could have ignored his opinion, and this wouldn't be going on right now.

Where you on a  cruise  or  something that was  like 3 days ago. Me  and Shifty  were cool after like a 1 to 2 post   purs.....satchel fight.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: CAP1 on December 09, 2011, 10:28:20 AM
Where you on a  cruise  or  something that was  like 3 days ago. Me  and Shifty  were cool after like a 1 to 2 post   purs.....satchel fight.

 I the op, then wasn't back to this thread till this morning, while hanging on hold waiting for a parts quote. read the stuff going on, and was kinda surprised it took that turn.


 disregard then.

 hopefully you two weren't throwing the expensive purses.   :noid
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 09, 2011, 10:30:48 AM
I the op, then wasn't back to this thread till this morning, while hanging on hold waiting for a parts quote. read the stuff going on, and was kinda surprised it took that turn.


 disregard then.

 hopefully you two weren't throwing the expensive purses.   :noid

Not Purses  Satchel(see page 2 pretty  funny)
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: captain1ma on December 09, 2011, 10:54:04 AM
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/public/EKUE9ZXbGqttlbtBNO26hS37aDf8U_aMmLw5aE4aygW1dX3kf4Y0OHgfvcvdq_Gq8XfPwuLN1PIagHPUeHpcpNjWTAeWfoNdKs5xI8o_nYf7PNP3Kc9NNuvib1FUr4oGsqkPeByucpqE8Zf6DqzrrHPSWpBkEVyIBOjmIcKDDO-aAhvpkgp1h2qJ7OVs7Me2PLCuBmqj7nRpagd0SpMklppRRNg0PXsfaVRWNgeC1QmiBTwzYpc0-1hU5zoUgqlcrIRJYCff=s220-c)

easier to fill with bricks!
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: waystin2 on December 09, 2011, 11:20:28 AM
I'm starting to smell a GROUP HUG here!  C'mon guys, arms up and gather round... :D
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: CAP1 on December 09, 2011, 11:20:45 AM
Not Purses  Satchel(see page 2 pretty  funny)

 satchel, purse.....same thing.  :devil
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: tmetal on December 09, 2011, 11:48:52 AM
I'm starting to smell a GROUP HUG here!  C'mon guys, arms up and gather round... :D

See!?!?!! This is what is killing off the AvA! Not the icons/no icons issue or the limited planesets; no it's this touchy feely vibe.  Camaraderie is destroying this arena and these forum boards! Recommence the purs...uh, satchel fight immediately if not sooner!!!!   :devil
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: waystin2 on December 09, 2011, 12:25:09 PM
<---------------Smacks Tmetal with a purse!
(http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/old_lady_purse_fight.gif)
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: tmetal on December 09, 2011, 12:35:22 PM
<----*starts swinging back with a satchel*  I'll show you the difference between a purse and a satchel!!  :ahand
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: CAP1 on December 09, 2011, 12:44:04 PM
perhaps this could be the next setup///////    :noid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMqSmiC_xHg
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Nathan60 on December 09, 2011, 04:01:20 PM
Purse or Satchel dont matter as long as its euopean.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Shifty on December 09, 2011, 05:50:04 PM
I think the old gal in the blue corner is landing more punches.
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: waystin2 on December 09, 2011, 06:52:09 PM
I think the old gal in the blue corner is landing more punches.

Lol.  She has a good block with that left arm! :lol
Title: Re: The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers
Post by: Plawranc on December 10, 2011, 02:33:59 AM
CAP  :rofl

 :salute