General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: FBKampfer on March 10, 2017, 12:52:54 PM
Title: Fiancé left me....
Post by: FBKampfer on March 10, 2017, 12:52:54 PM
She broke it off after almost two years together, and I honestly don't know what to do. Suddenly I'm questioning everything we had together, whether it ever meant anything to her.
The community here has a lot of experience with life in general, and some have been like brothers to me. Aside from a fifth, anybody have any good advice?
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: nooby52 on March 10, 2017, 01:04:03 PM
Ummmm, no advice, but one question....How much time did you spend on this game compared to the amount of time spent with her?
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Oldman731 on March 10, 2017, 01:11:12 PM
The community here has a lot of experience with life in general, and some have been like brothers to me. Aside from a fifth, anybody have any good advice?
Just two things (for the moment; I can really churn it out when I get going):
Thing One: Never suspect treachery. True treachery is comparatively rare. The more you know get used to something, the more you're likely to change your mind about it. Enjoy what you had.
Thing Two: Remember that you will look back at this time. You don't want to regret the way you react to this.
- oldman (and be glad that you do have this large band of virtual friends to chat with)
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: OldNitro on March 10, 2017, 01:14:41 PM
Do what ya have to do to be square about it. But once that is done, ditch the baggage, and DRIVE ON TROOP!
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Becinhu on March 10, 2017, 01:15:34 PM
While it sucks it is far better than you getting married and then have to go through a divorce. Time heals. If nothing caused the split other than a change of heart wish her the best and move on.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: ROC on March 10, 2017, 01:16:25 PM
No matter what happens in life there are positive and negative points. It isn't about what happened, it's about how you chose to handle it. For example, it was only 2 years and better to know early on that it isn't working instead of 20 years. If she was unhappy and you cared about her, it's better that she moves on with her life. It's all about choices, make good ones.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Copprhed on March 10, 2017, 01:17:29 PM
Sorry to hear it. The best thing is to ride it out, not making any rash decisions or life changes, which, at various times you will want to do. Don't try to understand it, you may never. DON'T LET IT UNDERMINE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE!!!! Sometimes people just change. It may be nobody's fault. Hang it there, rely on your friends and have faith that everything happens for a reason.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Golfer on March 10, 2017, 01:22:01 PM
Forget her, bang her best friend and move on brother. Sorry it had to happen but take the opportunity to move on to something better.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Lusche on March 10, 2017, 01:57:15 PM
What Oldman said :cheers:
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Bizman on March 10, 2017, 01:58:43 PM
Love her enough to let her go if that's what she wants. Wish her luck and move on. Cry a little, die a little, learn something about yourself. Try to figure out if you fell for her make up and perfume. i.e. an alternative truth about her?
Give yourself time to heal, don't rush into the arms of some Miss Toe-Tallie Wong.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Devil 505 on March 10, 2017, 02:05:43 PM
Sorry to hear this, bud.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: DubiousKB on March 10, 2017, 02:34:25 PM
Don't let someone else define you're self worth bud... Realize that there's only one person you can count on in this life, and he looks you in the mirror every morning.
Sh*tty, but the sun will rise tomorrow bud. . .
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Rich46yo on March 10, 2017, 02:50:41 PM
Your lucky you found this out now and not after you tied the knot and had three kids. You would really be screwed then. Sorry but Ive been to to many Domestic Disturbance calls when I knew the guy was going to get shafted out of everything he had and he knew it to. I count you among one of the lucky ones.
Theres a billion fish in the sea. Find a nice Gal who wants the same things you do and will stick with you no matter what. I warned my wife not to marry me if she has a problem with me hunting, fishing, shooting, or gaming "actually I think she's kinda relieved to get rid of me" but that I would always be there for her and the kid.
If you have serious cash then make her sign a pre-nup. Ive known to many guys who went to bed with one woman and the next morning the same face had went all Sybil on him.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Shuffler on March 10, 2017, 03:40:32 PM
Stay busy. Go fishing with your buddies, golf, camping, or whatever you like doing. Might even try something new that you have always wanted to do.
Do not sit at home and mope. Life is short, make the most of it.
Most importantly do not dwell on what you can't change.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: DaveBB on March 10, 2017, 03:44:42 PM
The next six months are going to suck. Find a hobby. Join some kind of club that puts you in the proximity of new women (volleyball team, running group, etc). Friend of mine's daughter got dumped. She took it super hard. She's also a pharmacist. She put herself on an anti-depressant to help with the breakup.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: FLOOB on March 10, 2017, 03:46:33 PM
You dodged a bullet.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Zoney on March 10, 2017, 04:00:50 PM
You should immediately go buy a motorcycle.
No, really, find something to do. Forget her, move on.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Curval on March 10, 2017, 04:03:25 PM
Feel for you. Been there.
It is NOT the end of the world no matter how much it seems to be.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Zimme83 on March 10, 2017, 04:10:57 PM
Did you see the warning signs?
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: fudgums on March 10, 2017, 04:27:21 PM
Stay busy. Go fishing with your buddies, golf, camping, or whatever you like doing. Might even try something new that you have always wanted to do.
Do not sit at home and mope. Life is short, make the most of it.
Most importantly do not dwell on what you can't change.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: guncrasher on March 10, 2017, 11:08:20 PM
if you want to know why? the answer is you will never know. I am going thru the same thing right now. I realize that there's never an answer for everything.
semp
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: FBKampfer on March 10, 2017, 11:53:51 PM
Try to figure out if you fell for her make up and perfume. i.e. an alternative truth about her?
It was the eyes. They were grey until the sun hit them just right, and they'd turn this amazing blue. And they were very... bright and attentive. My nickname for her was Shiney Eyes.
The light in the bedroom was just perfect right around 7:00 or 8:00 in the morning through the summer. It was my favorite thing about when she'd spend the weekend.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: FBKampfer on March 11, 2017, 12:02:41 AM
I guess. I don't know. We were long distance while she was at University, so communication was hard sometimes. But we tried to talk regularly.
I guess I knew we were having problems, but I just thought it was a rough patch. But she just didn't put as much effort into us as she'd used to. I mean she'd agreed to marry me, and we'd just started talking about kids (hypothetically. Like, if an accident happens, it would be a happy accident). Hell, she'd even come up with names for them.
I really don't know what to think....
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Oldman731 on March 11, 2017, 12:14:25 AM
I know it doesn't help, it's just hard not to. I don't always realize I'm doing it.
And I'm working tomorrow. Probably going to be a longer one too, our head chef usually pulls me for his special projects, and he's thinking of menus changes.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 11, 2017, 01:10:35 AM
Ummmm, no advice, but one question....How much time did you spend on this game compared to the amount of time spent with her?
What is this gibberish!
Get a motorcycle and spend all your money on YOURSELF!
SHE dumped YOU get another chick and make sure it's all about YOU!
The majority of these replies are pathetic! No wonder blokes think they are chicks and wear dresses🇬🇧
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: save on March 11, 2017, 01:20:41 AM
I have been living together with 4 girls, one of them I married and I have got 2 daughters with her.
My way of getting through separations is by keeping myself busy, and I always do a clean cut, with them, ie drop all contacts with them.
I have to keep contact with exMrs because daughters live halftime with me, and half with her, that's the one and only reason ( in Sweden we share 50% of belongings in a divorce, but neither do pay something the other party after that).
My experience through friends is that you tend to get used if you accept friendship after being dumped, and if you dumped her, she still believe she got a chance to get you back.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Bruv119 on March 11, 2017, 02:09:42 AM
Get a motorcycle and spend all your money on YOURSELF!
SHE dumped YOU get another chick and make sure it's all about YOU!
The majority of these replies are pathetic! No wonder blokes think they are chicks and wear dresses🇬🇧
Plenty more fish in the sea....
Zack when I drop £700 re-building my machine instead of putting in the wedding fund I'll tell her zack1234 told me to do it so she learns respect for my hobbies!
start as you mean to go on and all that.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: hgtonyvi on March 11, 2017, 03:18:58 AM
Bro how old are you anyways? Seems like she was like the first or second girl you had. Like Bruv says there's many more fishes in the sea. I know you might tear up from memories and whatever but screw that. Believe in yourself and always be confident that you are a better person than her. Stay away from her and ignore her calls. I guarantee she will wonder wtf you are doing. Then be nice if she text or call and call her over to hang out as "friends" then penetrate her and tell her get the &@"$ outa your house after you are done. Because what she did to you was not right. Sorry this might be a bad advice but squeakes deserves to be treated like squeakes.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 11, 2017, 04:46:24 AM
Zack when I drop £700 re-building my machine instead of putting in the wedding fund I'll tell her zack1234 told me to do it so she learns respect for my hobbies!
start as you mean to go on and all that.
Men = more suicides fact - 80% of women instigate divorce fact - child support - homelessness- work related death.
Look after YOURSELF no one ELSE will :old:
Get married when you 40 and make sure YOUR coin is hidden
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Zimme83 on March 11, 2017, 04:54:42 AM
Bro how old are you anyways? Seems like she was like the first or second girl you had. Like Bruv says there's many more fishes in the sea. I know you might tear up from memories and whatever but screw that. Believe in yourself and always be confident that you are a better person than her. Stay away from her and ignore her calls. I guarantee she will wonder wtf you are doing. Then be nice if she text or call and call her over to hang out as "friends" then penetrate her and tell her get the &@"$ outa your house after you are done. Because what she did to you was not right. Sorry this might be a bad advice but squeakes deserves to be treated like squeakes.
Yes this is a bad advice, not all relationships lasts forever and even said fiancé must have the right to break up and move on for whatever reason without him being an ass. Just move on. We have no idea why she did it but whatever the reason was, she must have the right to break up, like anyone in a relationship.
In general: If things like this happens out of the blue then you did not see the signs, which means you did not see her. And that 's probably why she left.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 11, 2017, 05:11:27 AM
You did not see her!
Dont listen to this nonsense!
She left because its all about HER.
Dont listen to this liberal kak!
YOU did nothng wrong it was HER!
When blokes look at it from HER perspective it is sickening, no wonder blokes shave their legs nowadays!
YOU DID NOT SEE HER :rofl
Its clear as the summer sun you could damn well hear her while you were on a bombing run!
This the outcome of Feminism and why men earn crap wages and get screwed at every opportunity
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Curval on March 11, 2017, 07:16:05 AM
I know it doesn't help, it's just hard not to. I don't always realize I'm doing it.
And I'm working tomorrow. Probably going to be a longer one too, our head chef usually pulls me for his special projects, and he's thinking of menus changes.
If work gets your mind off things throw yourself into it. At least something positive will come of your experience. Don't do what I did and crash and burn and waste 2 years of your life. When the fog finally cleared and I emerged from the depression, that was all it was....wasted time.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Rolex on March 11, 2017, 07:18:54 AM
She did you a favor. Better now (and far less expensive) than after being married.
According to Google there are over 3,400,000,000 women in the world.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Spikes on March 11, 2017, 07:20:17 AM
I had something similar happen to me a few years back, not engaged but a few years strong. Suddenly she ended it abruptly and I was blind-sided. Turns out, it was for another guy.
I just tried to better myself. I started going to the gym, took the money I would've spent on her/us and spent it on me. I upped my style a bit (you know, a couple nice jackets, hoodies, pairs of boots). Bought a kayak, realized I had more time to adventure. Bought a nice pair of Ray-Bans. Took more vacations. It made me feel good. But, unfortunately it will take time. Just keep busy, people will say not to think about it, but if you do nothing you're gonna dwell in it.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Golfer on March 11, 2017, 07:25:23 AM
With more information you've given she did you a favor. She didn't dump you because you weren't good enough, she dumped you because she wanted the convenience. Some other dudes sticking her and when her fancy changes he'll be cast aside. Do you hear me? Ya not because you weren't good enough. She's the one who couldn't bear the inconvenience of geography. And F that amigo, spoken from one whose job includes geography and time from home as obstacles.
With geography being an issue with my previous advice to shag her best friend as a step to move on; celebrate instead. You're free. Go find a 40 something divorcee who works out and she'll fix you right up with new standards you never even knew existed. Once you're ready then take what you've learned and go find someone to bear your children. Make sure she doesn't suck at life, make sure she cares about you the way you care about her and live a happy life. Don't go to bed angry. Don't stay mad. Forgive. Love. Unconditionally.
Go...be free.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 11, 2017, 01:06:25 PM
:aok
40 year old chick with her own income who will buy you a ford mustang :aok
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Bizman on March 11, 2017, 01:34:05 PM
24 years ago I and my wife with whom I had been for the last decade, married for the last year, sold our apartment. When the contract was signed, she said "I'm sure you understand we'll continue on separate ways from here on..." Well, I hadn't thought of that, but hey, what can you do? So we lived together for the next three months until the new owner needed the flat, got our divorce project running etc. We stayed friends until she moved to another town. Later I heard she broke the contacts to her parents and siblings, too. Don't know why, she changed her number without telling me so I haven't heard from her since '97 or so...
Anyhow, without us separating I wouldn't have met a girl who now has been my wife for 22 years and is the mother of two lovely daughters. Since then I haven't had to tiptoe with anything I say or do...
For anything new to happen you have to shut the door behind you.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 11, 2017, 02:27:34 PM
For anything new to happen you have to shut the door behind you.
:aok
Kippis!!!!!!
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Puma44 on March 11, 2017, 03:07:56 PM
Inadvertent double tap. Disregard.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Randall172 on March 11, 2017, 05:29:21 PM
My girlfriend has a fiance and I always wonder why she treats him so bad.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 11, 2017, 05:56:52 PM
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: PR3D4TOR on March 11, 2017, 08:10:09 PM
I've never been in your situation since I've never had a fiancé, but I've been dumped a couple of times. Unless it is important to you for religious reasons, just don't get married. It just makes everything worse if your relationship does come to an end.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Meatwad on March 11, 2017, 09:10:10 PM
Almost the exact same situation happened to me a good number of years ago, almost right down to the details. Turns out she was too immature even in her 20's. In the long run it was better off otherwise who knows how many other problems would of occured
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: cav58d on March 11, 2017, 09:23:53 PM
Time heals all man. It may feel like the end of the world, but it's not. The sun will continue to rise and life will go on. It will sting and hurt for a while, and then one day the sting will be a little less. You likely won't notice it at that moment, but as others have said, it will get better.
Try and take as many positives out of the whole relationship and experience. Change, even dramatic and at first glance sad change can be the best source of knowledge. And whatever you do don't rush into the first girl that shows even the remotest amount of interest in you.
Head up brotha. It could be A LOT worse.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Curval on March 13, 2017, 04:48:17 AM
How are you doing man?
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 13, 2017, 08:25:55 AM
Buy yourself something and change your phone number :old:
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: ghi on March 13, 2017, 08:39:59 AM
checking his pulse? :rofl (http://www.stonegiant.com/Politics/hangYourself.gif)
I've been on both sides of drama, imo don't contact her in any way insisting for explanations , we tend to react manipulated by ego and sexual instinct, ; Be cool lick your wounds in silence , soul scars makes us stronger. Love is just a bio-chemical trick ( love the English word "chemistry") used by nature to perpetuate species with final goal to create another body for the waiting souls. There are 3 sources people look for happiness and fulfillment; materiel things/$$ , relationship/love and spiritual; the first two are generating the highest number of suicides. Two years is long enough, in this business sooner or later one kisses and the other offers his cheek ; we are polygamic from nature like the rest of the mammals ,enforced to a single partner against our instinct by religious dogma running the society. The freedom of choice in western world over past decades proves it; over half of the couples are divorced and 40% of the kids are growing up without a father. Maybe you are not quantum entangled with her :noid, could be another woman , your real complementary soulmate communicating with you long before you meet, interfering with your reality. I don't know if this is true but i found it fascinating watching this documentary Quantum Communication ; here from time 24,00-36.00 ; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFSRTsLOiv0
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: hotcoffe on March 13, 2017, 08:52:41 AM
I think we have all been there and dealt with it somehow, I dont think anybody can tell you how to deal with it , it is something you will figure out by yourself with time...
but most of us can agree on one point and tell you this I guess, once you are over it and find the right person for you (really right that would never leave and will be willing to go with you to hell and back) you will look back and say you are glad that she left you when she did ...
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 13, 2017, 09:32:33 AM
Yes
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: fd ski on March 13, 2017, 09:58:29 AM
20 years ago I had a fiance, long distance relationship as well, Europe - Usa. Managed to hold on for 3 years, she broke it off. Someone she met at school.
It was the best thing that has ever happened to me. One day you will try to thank her :) Cheer up, enjoy life.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Curval on March 13, 2017, 10:09:56 AM
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: caldera on March 13, 2017, 10:18:15 AM
"My advice to you would be to start drinking heavily." - Blutarsky
Don't let this heartbreak keep you down for long. There is no "one" person for you. There are many great girls that could be the one you end up with. Or many girls that could be the many girls you end up with, if you live in Salt Lake City. :D
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: hotcoffe on March 13, 2017, 10:20:03 AM
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: BFOOT1 on March 13, 2017, 10:31:13 AM
My advice to is this.
#1. Don't let the bottle be your best friend right now. Talk with your friends, go out, get out of town, go somewhere where no one knows your name for a couple of days. Kick back and forget about life for awhile.
#2. Go out, meet new people, and I know you can't forget her, trust me. I've never been engaged, but I have had one serious girl who took a big piece of me. What I did, I focused on me for a while. I did the things I couldn't do with her, I made myself happy. I went to sporting events with the boys, went out with my friends, took a trip here and there, but I did that to show her that I was okay, and that I had forgot about her. I still think about her every now then, but do I miss her? No. I enjoyed what we had, but I do not miss her, simply because someone out there will make 10x happier than she ever could.
#3. Refer back to #1. There are plenty of other things out there to do beside drink it away. Yes go out have fun with friends, but do not drink alone. Drinking alone and heavily will put in a very dark place you do not want to be. Trust me I did that. I found myself relying on the bottom of the bottle instead of the people around me who needed me and vice versa. Once I put down the bottle, then I started to return to my old self, and enjoy life.
Just my two cents, :salute
If you need anything shoot me a pm here, I'll see what I can do.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: FBKampfer on March 13, 2017, 11:14:18 AM
Been better I'll tell you. Not ready to throw myself off a bridge or anything, but past that.... Well toejam, the only girl I've so far cared about enough to want to spend my life with her told me she doesn't give a rats bellybutton anymore.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Bored123 on March 13, 2017, 11:35:22 AM
Been there...pretty much tell you right now its the distance. Damn near impossible to keep something together when your far apart on a regular basis, people start to forget the little things, new people come around and piece by piece they lose the "spark" and move on.
I was married 5 years... wife found another guy while i was on deployment to Iraq. I was pissed and tried to find answers at the bottom of a bottle for about 6 years...then i looked back at it and i couldn't even blame her, still think its effed up but...out of a 5 year marriage i was probably gone for 3.5 years. Chin up buttercup...best advice...get out and start socializing with new woman...they will take your mind off of it.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Bored123 on March 13, 2017, 11:38:45 AM
Oh and like everyone else said....be glad it happend now, divorce is a serious pain in the ass.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Bizman on March 13, 2017, 12:09:26 PM
For what I've learned during the years is the although in theory there might exist a Miss Right, the one and only true match for you, there's plenty of Miss Goodenoughs whom you might want to explore further for the level of compromise. When you find one whose sweat and farts remind you of the scents of the Garden of Eden, she is very likely a perfect match for you.
@Bored123 Your comment about long distance relationship issues seems somewhat strange to me. My parents met on a farm where mom worked as the supervisor of the hen house and pop was an exchange student of agriculture for a year. During that year they got engaged. The next year they corresponded between Finland and Germany, making only one single phone call during that time. Long distance calls were highly expensive those days! They've now been married for 56 years and they still walk hand in hand in the public. And now we have fixed price Internet, free apps for video calls, whatnot... Or maybe that's the problem. You can't cherish a video call like a love letter - out of sight, out of mind...
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: mbailey on March 13, 2017, 12:21:01 PM
I thank the heavens every day the girl that I fell head over heels for dumped me way back when.....If she hadn't, I wouldn't have met my wife.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 13, 2017, 01:32:31 PM
Buy a new graphics card its more reliable and useful than a chick :old:
If you cant get a chick buy it :old:
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Ramesis on March 13, 2017, 03:23:02 PM
To use a cliche... "been there done that" :D
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Curval on March 14, 2017, 07:19:11 AM
Been better I'll tell you. Not ready to throw myself off a bridge or anything, but past that.... Well toejam, the only girl I've so far cared about enough to want to spend my life with her told me she doesn't give a rats bellybutton anymore.
Hang in there man. I know what you mean, it feels like a complete betrayal.
But just an fyi.....I am married with 3 great kids who all mean EVERYTHING to me. That would not have happened if the girl in my case had not walked out. She did me the biggest favour of my life. Lots of similar stories here. I know it doesn't help now hearing it but it is fact.
You can fire me a PM anytime as well. Happy to "talk".
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: JimmyC on March 14, 2017, 03:06:59 PM
....now get out there and tap some....., do it for us old fogeys that cant cos we are married..GOLDEN opportunity to have some fun,like you should when your young, and when you least expect it, when you are just being yourself, a beautiful lady will think your the one and you might just agree...until then...keep practicing and enjoy the time....
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Arlo on March 14, 2017, 04:44:09 PM
I thank the heavens every day the girl that I fell head over heels for dumped me way back when.....If she hadn't, I wouldn't have met my wife.
^^^^^^^^^^ This.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Hungry on March 14, 2017, 06:10:37 PM
I thank the heavens every day the girl that I fell head over heels for dumped me way back when.....If she hadn't, I wouldn't have met my wife.
Many times almost from a time machine perspective Ive looked back and thought wow I wish this or that would have been different why were the lessons so hard, including not being told but finding out the hard way that it wasn't me she was really interested in, but then I realize a year or so later I met this girl at a party sitting across the table, it was love at first sight, we started talking, we started dating, eventually we started talking about more serious things like our future hopes and dreams, and well 41 years later of being married to her the time machine got dismantled, I'm not going back and changing one single thing.
Hang in bud, it gets better every day, I pray some day you find your true girl sitting across the table, shes already there waiting for you.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Oldman731 on March 14, 2017, 07:13:05 PM
I thank the heavens every day the girl that I fell head over heels for dumped me way back when.....If she hadn't, I wouldn't have met my wife.
We're in the same club, Bailey! 30 years later.....
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Maverick on March 15, 2017, 11:08:06 AM
It sucks, yep been there done that. Thing is it's almost ALWAYS a good thing that this happened before you tied the knot, both financially and emotionally. The trick is to start back into a routine and take it one day at a time. The earth still rotates on it's axis and around the sun. Things will get better, just give it some time. After a bit you can start dating again and just take it slow. The right girl is still out there and you only have to find one of them out of the hundreds that would make a decent catch. Don't be in a hurry because you don't want to find out you rushed it and got an even worse choice out of a feeling of desperation. That will make you start to wish you were a single guy again but will then have to start over a lot poorer.
DO NOT try to patch things up with the old flame. That rarely works out. Yeah it looks like things "were great" back then before the break up but they really were not. Just learn from it and move on, slowly. It WILL get better after a while. Just put it behind you and stop looking back.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 15, 2017, 01:24:52 PM
Post her a big poo in a box :old:
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: PJ_Godzilla on March 15, 2017, 03:58:35 PM
I always say that the worst thing you can do in any given situation is to realize the downside without also realizing the upside. You know what that means, in this case.
There is also, potentially, a character building opportunity here as a collateral upside. I'd honestly evaluate why she left, taking into account everything I know and being unsparing in my assessment of my own behavior.
If it turns out you can pass your own review, then she's just some psycho or there just wasn't fundamental alignment there... and, if that obtains... then you can post her a big poo, I recommend a brown paper bag as the conveyance.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Oldman731 on March 15, 2017, 09:18:36 PM
If it turns out you can pass your own review, then she's just some psycho or there just wasn't fundamental alignment there... and, if that obtains... then you can post her a big poo, I recommend a brown paper bag as the conveyance.
....eh....people change, situations change, there are two sides to every story. Doesn't matter a bit, things are as they now are, and you have to move on.
- oldman (now that you mention it, though, I knew a guy who mailed someone a dead squirrel once, but I don't think that was over a broken love affair)
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: FBKampfer on March 15, 2017, 10:09:50 PM
Starting to realize Zack really is the jerk he pretends to be :old:.
Also something I thought of, I haven't actually been out to meet people since college. Where the hell do adults socialize at?
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Bizman on March 16, 2017, 02:20:27 AM
Also something I thought of, I haven't actually been out to meet people since college. Where the hell do adults socialize at?
After my divorce I was very active in my congregation, there was a pretty girl who seemed to have plans for me. But after having been left by an immature and uncertain 30 years old I didn't want to hang around with an even more unstable 20 y.o...
And then a fried got married and asked if I had an empty seat in my car for another guest. Half a week later we started to date and in less than a year we got married. Funny thing is, the bride had had plans to match me with her best friend, she even arranged us two to sleep in the same room after the wedding party! Well, we had a nice conversation about our current crushes in our beds at opposite sides of the room...
I'm trying to tell that the place doesn't matter. Just go out where there's other people living their everyday life. In places where people dress up to be as attractive as possible your subconscious will easily get erratic information because perfumes hide the pheromones, the real scent of a person. - Ever heard about the sweaty t-shirt experiment (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/evolution/library/01/6/l_016_08.html)?
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: zack1234 on March 16, 2017, 02:41:54 AM
A purveyor of pies, mostly steaming... a denouncer of all thing "colonial", the vitriol drips off of the word, sneering quotes mine...
He once likened my avatar, the beloved family crest, to a squashed cat, while outing me as a "dog-fettler". You can usually spot him by his silk cravat and a faint but distinct whiff of bay rum and pipe.
But, be careful. He is rumored to have killed a man/men and has been known to take a turn or two on the wife and boy.
If you approach him, be sure to not mark yourself as a bluuudy soootherner - word to the wise - consider leaving the Freelander at home, since it is a sure giveaway that you spend more time at the mall than off-road.
That is Zack, and forewarned is forearmed.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: BuckShot on March 17, 2017, 06:31:11 AM
We're in the same club, Bailey! 30 years later.....
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
I'm in this club too! I would not be with my soul mate without a rough patch after being left by the wrong one.
Look at it this way: it took you two years to figure out that she's not the one. That's how I got through a similar ordeal.
Also, look for the beauty in everything, the sky, birds, animals, etc. It will cheer you up. When I did, I started noticing things that I never did before. That was advice from my Dad.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: TheBug on March 17, 2017, 08:12:35 AM
Also, look for the beauty in everything, the sky, birds, animals, etc. It will cheer you up. When I did, I started noticing things that I never did before. That was advice from my Dad.
Very good advice. :salute
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: morfiend on March 17, 2017, 04:05:15 PM
A purveyor of pies, mostly steaming... a denouncer of all thing "colonial", the vitriol drips off of the word, sneering quotes mine...
He once likened my avatar, the beloved family crest, to a squashed cat, while outing me as a "dog-fettler". You can usually spot him by his silk cravat and a faint but distinct whiff of bay rum and pipe.
But, be careful. He is rumored to have killed a man/men and has been known to take a turn or two on the wife and boy.
If you approach him, be sure to not mark yourself as a bluuudy soootherner - word to the wise - consider leaving the Freelander at home, since it is a sure giveaway that you spend more time at the mall than off-road.
That is Zack, and forewarned is forearmed.
:rofl
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: FLOOB on March 17, 2017, 07:30:41 PM
I thank the heavens every day the girl that I fell head over heels for dumped me way back when.....If she hadn't, I wouldn't have met my wife.
Many times almost from a time machine perspective Ive looked back and thought wow I wish this or that would have been different why were the lessons so hard, including not being told but finding out the hard way that it wasn't me she was really interested in, but then I realize a year or so later I met this girl at a party sitting across the table, it was love at first sight, we started talking, we started dating, eventually we started talking about more serious things like our future hopes and dreams, and well 41 years later of being married to her the time machine got dismantled, I'm not going back and changing one single thing.
Hang in bud, it gets better every day, I pray some day you find your true girl sitting across the table, shes already there waiting for you.
Yeah but imagine how better things would've been if she hadn't dumped you.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: FBKampfer on March 17, 2017, 07:45:51 PM
Yeah but imagine how better things would've been if she hadn't dumped you.
This!
Yeah, she and I didn't work out. No that doesn't mean I'm lucky, it just means I didn't get hurt as bad as I could have.
Maybe someone else can make me happy too, but that doesn't mean we hadn't planned and didn't want things together. Like I said, she named our potential kids. I was even starting to look forward to it a little.
It still sucks no matter how much worse it could have worked out to be.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Shuffler on March 19, 2017, 10:39:15 AM
She broke it off after almost two years together, and I honestly don't know what to do. Suddenly I'm questioning everything we had together, whether it ever meant anything to her.
The community here has a lot of experience with life in general, and some have been like brothers to me. Aside from a fifth, anybody have any good advice?
55 years old. Best advice on women I ever received i received 25 years ago.
"never trust anythign that can bleed for 7 days and not die"
All women are bi polar nuts. ALL of them
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Zoney on March 19, 2017, 08:56:02 PM
DREDIOCK, your mother would be so proud of you. That's not funny, it's insulting. There are women that play here too. This isn't a locker room.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: ghi on March 19, 2017, 09:13:53 PM
Also something I thought of, I haven't actually been out to meet people since college. Where the hell do adults socialize at?
After watching the discoveries in genetics over past years( and we barely scratched the surface), i would hang around Amish communities / churches and hope for a virgin. Women are storing the DNA from previous partners (and fetuses ) into their brain; and the fruits of this love with a cocktail of fathers are X-men mutants babies with multiple personalities disorders. I'll copy and pasta an older post :) http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/index.php/topic,375777.msg5006102.html#msg5006102
Hurry up get another girl quickly, if you live in Texas; i just read this brutal story : :(
"Texas bill would fine men $100 each time they masturbate" :confused: :O http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/13/health/abortion-texas-lawmaker-trnd/
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: DREDIOCK on March 20, 2017, 06:38:20 AM
DREDIOCK, your mother would be so proud of you. That's not funny, it's insulting. There are women that play here too. This isn't a locker room.
My mother would agree with me. And if you knew anything about me. I dont care if you, or anyone else is insulted or not. The statement is accurate.
Oh and for the record. My wife is actually certified Bi polar. Takes meds for it and everything. but from my 55 years of observation. She is only a few steps different then 99% of all the other women out there
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: cav58d on March 20, 2017, 11:09:11 AM
Not to sound insensitive, but I say big friggin deal to her having named your "potential" kids. What love drunk couple hasn't done that while laying in bed. The real question is, did you have any serious discussions about how life changing having kids is? What sacrifices both of you will have to make both personally and financially? Did you start researching what type of leave both of your employers offer for new parents? If your jobs offer FSA's for day care, and so forth and so forth?
If the answer is no, then big stinking deal about the between the sheets child naming.
Learn and move on. Time heals all, and although this might seem like the end of the world, it's not. Pray this is the worst thing that ever happens in your life, and if so consider yourself lucky. It could be so much worse.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Toad on March 20, 2017, 08:16:19 PM
Well, since my baby left me...
Well, I found a new place to dwell...
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: BaldEagl on March 21, 2017, 01:18:38 AM
Get a grip. She left you. Man up. Don't come crying in public.
You want heartbreak? My ex left me after seven years and didn't bother to break the news until I had a sale agreement on my home, had turned in the leased BMW that I'd planned to buy off the lease and a move was already in process from NY to MN to live with her sister and brother-in-law while we looked for jobs. Not only did I lose my wife of seven years but moved with no where to live and no job.
Get over it.
And BTW, I agree with Dread... there isn't a female born who isn't nuts. There's an old saying that attests to this... you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Maverick on March 21, 2017, 11:06:34 AM
Toad, you split the sheets????
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Toad on March 21, 2017, 07:52:50 PM
Nah, of course not!
I still have my original issue wife; 43 years and still going.
I was just trying to soothe the OP's pain with music.
Quote
Well, since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell. It's down at the end of lonely street at Heartbreak Hotel.
You make me so lonely baby, I get so lonely, I get so lonely I could die.
And although it's always crowded, you still can find some room. Where broken hearted lovers do cry away their gloom.
You make me so lonely baby, I get so lonely, I get so lonely I could die.
Well, the Bell hop's tears keep flowin', and the desk clerk's dressed in black. Well they been so long on lonely street They ain't ever gonna look back.
You make me so lonely baby, I get so lonely, I get so lonely I could die.
Hey now, if your baby leaves you, and you got a tale to tell. Just take a walk down lonely street to Heartbreak Hotel.
<Thankyew, Thankyew VerraMuch!>
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: texasmom on March 21, 2017, 11:11:52 PM
Most women are wretched, even the nice ones.
I am sorry for the heartache you have now, but it will pass.
Don't take her back if she tries, and just remember that your worth isn't determined by anything she said to you during that breakup.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Bizman on March 22, 2017, 02:22:53 AM
Get a grip. She left you. Man up. Don't come crying in public.
You want heartbreak? My ex left me after seven years and didn't bother to break the news until I had a sale agreement on my home, had turned in the leased BMW that I'd planned to buy off the lease and a move was already in process from NY to MN to live with her sister and brother-in-law while we looked for jobs. Not only did I lose my wife of seven years but moved with no where to live and no job.
Get over it.
And BTW, I agree with Dread... there isn't a female born who isn't nuts. There's an old saying that attests to this... you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em.
Lesson learned, don't fall for the mortgage, kids, wife, work all your life, paradigm that TV tells you to embrace. Trading 5 days of every week of your life for money.
I'm proud to say that about half of the dudes from my highschool graduating class never had kids, aren't married and sold their houses in their 30s and hit the road. diddlys given? Zero. Maybe it's because I'm from the sticks, something about living in the city instills a fear of disobeying the TV and not conforming. It wasn't until I reunited with some of my old friends that I noticed I had fallen victim to it myself. You'd be surprised how easy it is to live comfortably in america when you don't have to pay for a house and a woman's brood.
Women complain about inequality, but the way modern society is setup men are encouraged to give a woman the kids she wants and sacrifice the rest of his useful life in servitude to what the woman wants. Why? Because that's what keeps men working 40+ hours a week for 40+ years.
Like I said Fbkampfer, you dodged a bullet. You've been given a second chance. Don't waste it.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: PJ_Godzilla on March 22, 2017, 02:42:35 PM
So, just to uplift the mood, maybe make this a little more comical, let me tell you a little story about a guy I knew once. We'll call him Craig, because that was his name.
He married this girl. She was, his words, "smokin' hot". He bought the cow and paid for the privilege.
One day, he came home from work. There she was with her mother and a stack of paperwork.
"It's clear to us <gesturing to her mother> that you'll never make more than XXX per year. Therefore, we've decided to divorce you."
He was lucky he hadn't had kids with this woman. In any case, while most men don't kiss the wife goodbye when they leave the house, many, like Craig here, did kiss the house (and a couple of toys besides) good-bye when they left the wife.
As post-mortem, and just to see if he'd learned anything, I asked him, "so, was it worth it?" His reply: "she was smokin' hot!"
See, we've got two brains, but only enough blood flow to use one at a time. I'm married but my stuff is mine, as I've seen to it, push come to shove... and it won't, precisely because I'm prepared for it to do so. In fact, I've also seen to it that my wife's stuff is hers - because being prepared doesn't necessitate being a bunghole. I chose well anyway, and, if I die, she and the "next of" can pick through the rubble freely.
Be smart. Always CYA. People respect that and it prevents a lot of conflict. Women respect that. Above all, don't be like Craig, getting led around by Dick Sargent of Bewitched fame.
There is some truth in Floob's rather experienced take. I'm more of the mind that you can play the game (if you like the game) but that you want to wear your cup and think for yourself, always, the most dangerous pronoun being "we". People are fallible, even when they're well-intended, so you have to be exceedingly careful in what you place faith.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: pipz on March 22, 2017, 03:53:39 PM
Best post I have ever read on the internet! :rock :old: :cheers:
And for god sakes if you do get married don't get married in Canada. I heard all about Dave Foley's nightmare divorce. People think Karl Pilkington is daft, but he's lived with the same woman for over a decade and he's still not married.
https://youtu.be/SaC-2lj6HNg
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: pipz on March 23, 2017, 04:27:58 PM
And for god sakes if you do get married don't get married in Canada. I heard all about Dave Foley's nightmare divorce. People think Karl Pilkington is daft, but he's lived with the same woman for over a decade and he's still not married.
https://youtu.be/SaC-2lj6HNg
I watched that vide. that's horrible!!!! :mad:
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: DREDIOCK on March 25, 2017, 12:51:12 AM
Blue Boy - "I was thinkin' about that girl!" John Henry Thomas - "What girl?" Blue Boy - "The Confederate colonel's daughter, Charlotte!" John Henry Thomas - "She's a pretty girl! A little young, but pretty!" Blue Boy - "I want her!" John Henry Thomas- "You want her??" Blue Boy - "And she wants me!" John Henry Thomas- "How'd you figure that out?" Blue Boy - "You raised me to know,John Henry!" John Henry Thomas - "I taught you what to do when the snow comes, how to survive in a blizzard, and I taught you how to deal with MEN, but women......NOBODY knows what's on a woman's mind!"
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: ghi on March 25, 2017, 11:29:39 PM
A couple of deep documentaries inspired from eastern philosophy, could help passing through crisis of destiny; :salute
Blue Boy - "I was thinkin' about that girl!" John Henry Thomas - "What girl?" Blue Boy - "The Confederate colonel's daughter, Charlotte!" John Henry Thomas - "She's a pretty girl! A little young, but pretty!" Blue Boy - "I want her!" John Henry Thomas- "You want her??" Blue Boy - "And she wants me!" John Henry Thomas- "How'd you figure that out?" Blue Boy - "You raised me to know,John Henry!" John Henry Thomas - "I taught you what to do when the snow comes, how to survive in a blizzard, and I taught you how to deal with MEN, but women......NOBODY knows what's on a woman's mind!"
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Rash on March 28, 2017, 08:10:08 PM
Don't drink alcohol and smash your phone with a hammer.
Title: Re: Fiancé left me....
Post by: Oldman731 on March 28, 2017, 08:13:04 PM