Krusty,
Guess you are going to have to get married to someone who knows how to sew, have your girlfriend do it, or do it your own self. (Although some cleaners, uniform shops and tailors will be glad to do it for you, for a donation to their cash register)
I could never find a woman who was willing to take the time to sew "stupid patches on that dam jacket, though. Always have done it my self, and the results are predictable, but I have never lost one.
(To cheap to pay a professional, cause after all, it's just "a dam jacket")