Being a Trainer, I do most of my flying in the Training Arena. You encounter few red icon fighters in the TA.
Since friendly collisions are turned off, you tend to fly very close to someone you are training or dueling with. Sometimes, flying right through them.
When I do get into one of the MAs, I have a tendency to fly very close to the enemy. Sometimes, too close and suffer a collision. It's my fault and I accept the result. After a few sorties, I've re-oriented my thinking and I keep a reasonable distance.
You can whine all you want, but the fact remains that the vast majority of air to air collisions where only you suffer damage are your fault.
Change your habits, improve your skills and you will see collisions virtually disappear.
My regards,
Widewing