Author Topic: Life after Death  (Read 3384 times)

Offline LYNX

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #15 on: November 05, 2009, 05:46:31 PM »
Ghosth

Thanks for the complements.  In many respects I'm with you but like you say we'll never know...not on this plain anyways.

Bodhi

Thanks ...glad you liked it. 

Regards
Lynx
Steve

Offline GFShill

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #16 on: November 05, 2009, 07:05:50 PM »
Well written. Reminds me of the surgery I had as a kid.  When I was under, it was like watching the static on tv (for those who remember tv before cable and digital tuning) with that god-awful taste in my mouth from the ether.

The white light you mention was the tape they put over your eyes during REM.  :rolleyes:
==========

Offline sntslilhlpr6601

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #17 on: November 05, 2009, 07:13:06 PM »
Very good story I enjoyed it. Though there was one part I didn't like: the part where you give up (no hard feelings, I know you were only 12). I'm a firm believer in the human will to survive. It can overcome many things. I think Ghosth hit the nail on the head in his analysis. Subconsciously, you knew you had to survive. You just had to find the strength to keep fighting.

Thank you for sharing that with us. That definitely takes some cojones.

Offline LYNX

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #18 on: November 06, 2009, 04:34:07 AM »
"Seeing the other side" is just your brain providing brief entertainment while it scrambles and shuts down systems in an effort to keep your core functions operational. It's well documented.

I'd like a link to this please.  The reason being I'm open minded about it all but I have to say those in the medical practise are taught to be self assertive.  They do, after all, have to make some "fine line" judgement calls.  I'm not saying their wrong just that they can be over bearing with their assertions.

As you can asscertain I'm a believer of the after life but would like to know how "medicine" can messure what some of us would perceive as the soul or spirit... of ones self being.

Offline Plawranc

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #19 on: November 06, 2009, 05:10:38 AM »
Really riveting Lynx.

But due to the nature of it I was left a bit scared and depressed, so in short. BRILLIANT.

But all the same, I think I will continue reading about Biggles and Algy with Jolly old ginger at their side thanks.

Nice work  :aok
DaPacman - 71 Squadron RAF

"There are only two things that make life worth living. Fornication and Aviation"

Offline mechanic

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #20 on: November 06, 2009, 05:28:38 AM »
 Nice read Lynx. It's interesting to me especially, I'm in the middle of writting a book that deal with the subject of life after death and many other philosophical questions. It's taking me a long time as i wont force myself to write unless it comes easily.

 I liked your writing style. If there was more I would surely have carried on reading. I'd be interested to talk about this with you, if you ever had the time.
And I don't know much, but I do know this. With a golden heart comes a rebel fist.

Offline Viperius

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #21 on: November 06, 2009, 05:31:07 AM »
Great story Lynx.

And you all have to remember we are allready dead, its not a question of if or where but when, could be tomorrow or in 50 years.

As to Life after Death consider this, the same molecules that make up the walls around you, the chair you sit on right now, are no different then the molecules that make up our bodies.
So what are we? what is this concious being that looks thru these physical eyes? I don't know but I do know that energy can't be created nor destroyed only transformed  ;)
« Last Edit: November 06, 2009, 05:33:05 AM by Viperius »

Offline Angus

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #22 on: November 06, 2009, 05:48:45 AM »
You're calling me a chair huh?!?!?!?!
It was very interesting to carry out the flight trials at Rechlin with the Spitfire and the Hurricane. Both types are very simple to fly compared to our aircraft, and childishly easy to take-off and land. (Werner Mölders)

Offline LYNX

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #23 on: November 06, 2009, 09:32:40 AM »
Nice read Lynx. It's interesting to me especially, I'm in the middle of writting a book that deal with the subject of life after death and many other philosophical questions. It's taking me a long time as i wont force myself to write unless it comes easily.

 I liked your writing style. If there was more I would surely have carried on reading. I'd be interested to talk about this with you, if you ever had the time.


The kettles on.  Pop round for a cuppa an a chat or alternatively read your PM  :salute
« Last Edit: November 06, 2009, 09:35:58 AM by LYNX »

Offline TEShaw

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #24 on: November 06, 2009, 10:07:07 AM »
Great story Lynx.

And you all have to remember we are allready dead, its not a question of if or where but when, could be tomorrow or in 50 years.

As to Life after Death consider this, the same molecules that make up the walls around you, the chair you sit on right now, are no different then the molecules that make up our bodies.
So what are we? what is this concious being that looks thru these physical eyes? I don't know but I do know that energy can't be created nor destroyed only transformed  ;)

He doesn't know how to say "hydro-carbons" in a polite way.

Offline TEShaw

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #25 on: November 06, 2009, 10:20:27 AM »
Unreadable. Have a nice day.

Offline Viperius

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #26 on: November 06, 2009, 11:13:15 AM »
He doesn't know how to say "hydro-carbons" in a polite way.

And the carbon in the hydro-carbons differs in what way to the carbon that is everywhere else?

In Germany there is a saying "If you don't have anything to say just shut the diddly up!"
« Last Edit: November 06, 2009, 11:24:17 AM by Viperius »

Offline LYNX

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #27 on: November 06, 2009, 12:57:36 PM »
Unreadable. Have a nice day.

I did amend something earlier.  Perhaps it was then that you couldn't access the site.   It works fine now.

Offline druski85

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #28 on: November 06, 2009, 12:58:15 PM »
Unreadable. Have a nice day.

 :huh  Someone didn't have their Wheaties this morning.  Constructive criticism is an art lost on the lazy.

To be quite honest, I agree with Indy's assessment here of what is actually happening.   That being said, from a stylistic view I believe it is for the most part well written.  I've got a couple quick suggestions to consider:

1. Due to my previously mentioned belief, I would make the tone more neutral -- particularly the introduction.  Show the reader what happened, but let him/her decide what it all means.  
2. I would have to agree that your interjections of technical equipment and terminology seemed out of place and a little forced.  
3. Try to maintain a consistent voice.  At some points you seem to be writing from the perspective of a 12 year old kid "My right side hurt awful bad " and others you are clearly at an advanced stage "Sirens once again emphasized the drama of the charge, trumpeting me awake from my painless slumber."  I understand the logic of wanting to speak from the voice of each given time, but as a reader (to me at least) it is a bit distracting.  
4. Careful with your tense.  Depending on your target audience for this piece, the amalgamation of present, simple past, and present perfect can be tough to follow at times.  (or stomach, if you are an English nazi :D )  Again this could be a non-issue, assuming different audiences.

As a whole, I enjoyed it even if I have a drastically different view of what you experienced.  It definitely takes some cojones to put it out there in the first place!   :salute
 

Offline DREDger

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Re: Life after Death
« Reply #29 on: November 06, 2009, 01:13:15 PM »
As you once told me.

"A gambling man will believe in god, because he's got nothing to lose."