It will never happen, but it things like these stories that makes me wish for a newb area. A place to teach new players the basics of how to operate the different equipment, basic fighting skills, basic bombing skills, basic GVing skills, basic communication skills. Then make them pass a test, or "complete a mission" before they can advance to the Mains.
Having the basics in the bag may help them concentrate more on the game when in the Mains instead of flopping around being lost and getting swallowed up by "squads" that just want bodies instead of what a group to hang out with. A lot of these squads then just flounder around lost as a group ganging others, or running NOES with a 100 guys and such that seem to promote this poor behavior.