one obvious thing is the planes dont handle as they do in real life
And you know how these planes handled in real life? The problem is not with the planes, the flight model or anything other than with the person in control of said airplane.
You really should rethink that 'I prefer to learn solo' crap. It's not going to make you a better pilot at all. Go to the training arena and get a trainer to help you learn BFM (Basic Flight Maneuvers) until you can maneuver your plane without getting into an accelerated stall. Once you're able to do that, then it's time to start on the more advanced concepts and start cutting your teeth on learning ACM (Air Combat Maneuvering). Between training sessions with a trainer, go to
Netaces.org and read all the write ups that are posted in relation to dogfighting. No shame in asking for help when you need it and don't let your little ego keep you from doing it.
ack-ack