Perhaps he's concerned for her safety.... and the fact she is breaking the law.
There have been folks die from using. They just don't list it like they do alcohol. They also list alcohol related accidents even when it is the person not drinking at fault. Oh yeah... alcohol is also medicinal. That hardly means anything in this conversation.
I'm not saying pots should be legal or illegal..... just that right now it is illegal.
Nobody has ever ODed from smoking pot.
As far as breaking the law. That will never act as a deterrent. It only barely works with adults. But particularly with teenagers
I never bought into the gateway drug theory. I've known people who have smoked and never did anything else. and people who drank and never did anything else. And I've known heroine addicts who never smoked or drank anything. And people in between.
That out of the way. As someone else said.
You know your kids. And over reacting will probably cause them to pull away. they way I've handled it with my kids is by being completely open with them about my past. Yea. I've done some stuff. Mostly cause everyone else was doing it and I was getting it free. fortunately I got bored with it pretty early on. But alot of my friends didnt. And fully half of those I grew up with are dead because of drugs or alcohol or incidents related to them.
As my son got and my daughter is getting older I tell them all these great stories I have. Great times. fun parties. and all the stuff I've done. and the good times we had. And then mention how this one is dead from this. That one died from that. And how but for decisions made by me at certain points in time. I could have been just like them. And how in hindsight I probably wouldnt do most of these things all over again.
I tell them about after the initial rush you get from cocain. How pointless of a high it is as you spend the rest of the night doing it but can never quite capture that initial rush. and how in the end I would just end up feeling wired out with someone talking ot me and thinking but not saying "Oh would you please just shut the F up already."
How your face and jaw aches after doing crank, or acid and you feel like cr@p for the next couple of days
How much more interesting it is to go to a party and just have a couple of beers and not get totally trashed. but to watch everyone else get trashed and being able to use that to your advantage to manipulate them into providing entertainment for you. Or just watching how much like complete idiots people act like when drunk and ask yourself. Do I really want to act like that?
And I've told each exactly how my friends have died. How my very best friend got drunk and decided to stumble across a highway and in front of a moving car and ended up comming through the windsheild and getting the top of his head sheered off. And his body mangled so badly he had a closed casket funeral. Or how another OD'ed shooting up coke. Or how one while in search of heroine got himself beat up so badly that his brother found him dead in his apt 2 days later from a ruptured spleen.
Or another after taking a combination of Quaaludes and vodka. Went home and hanged himself.
How none of these people were the scumbags you see in TV
All good people who would give a complete stranger the shirt off their backs if they were in need of one.
And I end each story telling them that I'm not stupid or naive enough to assume that they will never ever try anything. And that while I cant condone it. Just stay away from the chemicals. I mention how the chemicals we did then are nothing when compared to whats out there now.
but in all my cases it was the chemicals or heavy consumption of alcohol that did them in.
And while I cant give them permission. I'd rather know what they are doing then be surprised by a knock on the door or a phone call.
I backed this up by in one incident I walked into his room unnanounced and spotting one of his friends real quick trying ot put something into his pocket. "Let see it" I said. His friend was white as a ghost" what? noting I dont have anything" Again I said "Lets see it." To which my son sais. "you might as well give it to him. He's going to get it from you one way or the other anyway.
It was a small bag of pot he handed over. I opened the bag, smelled it and said "How much they ripping you off for this stuff these days?"
He said something like $40 for 1/8 oz. I shook my head and said "Back in my day you could buy and entire ouce for that much" and handed it back to him.
"Be careful with that and dont pull it out around your sister. And just stay away from the chemicals"
I didnt tell my wife. I knew she would just freak out as she normally would. End result. Both he and his friends were very open with me about their activities and would only tell my wife the bare necessities. By my not freaking and taking it away. I earned some cred. Which meant they were more willing to tell me the dirty details about things they normally wouldnt.
So far my son now 23 I know has smoked some pot. But claims he took my words about the chemicals to heart and never tried anything else. Now he doesnt do anything. Other then some occasional drinking. But even that isnt all that often and he and his friends are I must say pretty damned responsible about having a designated driver. I know on more then one occasion he he been driven home or has driven others home.
Doesnt smoke pot at all anymore. Like me he got bored with it and prefers to have a clear head.
My daughter. Now 15. Hates the taste of any kind of alcohol. And thinks any drug use at all is stupid. So so far soo good. She's gone a full 2 years farther then I did we my friends and I started.
We shall see.
Parenting is tough. Nobody can train you on how to deal with your kids. All I have done is look at how other people dealt with their kids. Saw what seemed to work and what didnt and developed my own method from there based on how my kids are.
Now whats worked for me might not work for others. Different kids. You know them better then anyone.
