Interesting story below(See link) but I want to begin with my own philosphy regarding discipline. Positive reinforcement combined with negative punishment go hand in hand. The more positive reinforcement during periods of good behavior lessens the chances of bad behavior, therefore checks negative punishment. However, when bad behavior is present, from 2 yrs to roughly 4 yrs. old, a swat on the butt (or two..) is necessary. After roughly age 4, there are other methods that work better than physical punishment, like loss of privileges (whatever they may be). A spanking should NEVER leave marks or welts, if it does, you probably should not be spanking your child as you are letting your own anger get out of control.
I've been witnessing both my method of raising children (like my father) and the opposite of that method, which is my neighbor, who did not believe in any physical "swat on the butt" style punishment with their child, a son who is now age 8, same age as my oldest son.
He is hell on wheels. He's a bully on the bus. He's a goof off, constantly disrupting everything around him. His grades are sub-par.
He is also on my sons team, which I help coach, and he is never paying attention, always getting away with murder when we turn our backs. He also runs alot, due to our policy that when a kid gets as disruptive as Austin does, our head coach usually makes them run to a designated point (like a distant tree or goal post) and back until they get the message. Austin does NOT get the message. Austin runs alot.
His father is disappointed with his son's baseball ability, and constantly consoles with me about his son's abilities. The kid has natural talents, but sucks big time in any sport he plays because he never pays attention and is always goofing off (no discipline his whole life...remember?) I''ve told his father to consider pulling Austin out of the game when he begins bending over and pretending to fart on other kids while the game is going on...he's not done that yet, but yanking a kid out of the middle of the game is VERY effective from my experience. (I've done it once, and I've never had to do it again)
Last night was the final straw...he knee'd another kid in the groin (lucky they wear cups) and pushed the other kid down..his intentions were harmful.
Now, you can tell his Dad is seething with anger inside, you can read him pretty good. But he won't discipline his child(We've discussed this before over the years) The worse thing he has done is ground him for 1 day, of which turned out to be a half day because I saw Austin that evening riding a bike.
So, just a note for all you parents just beginning life with a little one, use positive reinforcement, and plenty of it, when your child behaves....but do NOT be afraid to give them a swat now and then to straighten out bad behavior when they're toddlers...then you won't have the high blood pressure that my neighbor has.
Incidently, the story below? That kids too old for spanking...it won't work at that age, it'll just "harden" them if you know what I mean.
http://www.komo-am.com/stories/31070.htm
