Author Topic: Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?  (Read 3391 times)

Offline LePaul

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #30 on: October 30, 2004, 02:12:20 AM »
Cheating is cheating....I guess the lamest "excuse" I heard was from a coworker who was gawking at a recent new hire.  Another coworker reminded him he's married to which he responded "She married me, I didnt marry her"  :rolleyes:

Offline fd ski

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #31 on: October 30, 2004, 02:23:40 AM »
Monogamy is realtive rarity in most animal spicies. My guess is that it is a learned behaviour in humans. It's a moral guideline we've imposed upon ourselves for whatever reasons. And we live with it. My personal sentiments are similar to those of Airhead, however i fear it could in large margin bore down to an ammount of hormmones we produce...

Offline beet1e

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #32 on: October 30, 2004, 02:29:16 AM »
Ah yes, the 7th commandment. I've broken it from both sides, and have no regrets.

It's all down to circumstances. If you're in a dead marriage, it's perfectly natural. I went off with another woman - Suzanne - after my marriage was over in all but name. I was with Suzanne  for 5 years (and still very good friends after 9+ years) and felt no urge to cheat. Of course, I felt bad because the marriage was ending. But as for whether I felt guilt about the actual relationship with Suzanne, I felt none. And that's the test - if you feel NO guilt, it's already over with the wife/first woman.

As my divorce lawyer remarked, as we discussed matters: "In my experience, infidelity is not the CAUSE of marital breakdown, but the RESULT of marital breakdown.

Offline Suave

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #33 on: October 30, 2004, 03:35:25 AM »
Let's see betray your wife, and risk destroying your children's family for some tang.
If a person is capable of completely betraying those who are closest to him, his own blood and family, then I don't think there's much he's not capable of.

I have a theory, parents that get caught cheating on their spouse have kids that cheat. (Dad/Mom is the greatest  in the world, and he/she made some "mistakes")

That's why one of my first questions is "so.. folks still together?"

From what I've seen of the married women at work and when I went to school, I've become rather cynical when it comes to marriage.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2004, 03:38:24 AM by Suave »

storch

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #34 on: October 30, 2004, 07:19:10 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by TweetyBird
I guess you haven't met Jack Daniels yet - he's a bad influence...


how true

Offline J_A_B

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #35 on: October 30, 2004, 07:23:35 AM »
Adultery isn't always a horrible thing.  It's never good, but isn't always that bad.  Sometimes I can understand it.

Rampant promiscuity is ALWAYS a terrible thing, married or not.

The two are not the same.



"Men do not have to think with there dicks. " -- GtoRA2

So true, but I'm afraid your point will likely be lost in today's world of self-gratification at all costs.


I apply it both ways.  Women who act slutty are as bad as their male "player" counterparts.   I for one don't find such a woman attractive or sexy in any way.  A woman needs some class to appeal to me; acting like a prostitite isn't classy.


J_A_B
« Last Edit: October 30, 2004, 09:34:06 AM by J_A_B »

Offline Jackal1

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #36 on: October 30, 2004, 08:29:55 AM »
GtoRA2, you are coming off like men are the only ones to commit adultry. Not so.
  You are also coming off like you are the great protector and overseer of women, yet in post after post you have some very unflattering terminoligy and pet names for the female gender.
  I`m guessing someone did the ole backseat bop with your gal or wife while you were busy doing more important things, huh?

 "Who`s making love to your old lady while you were out making love"
Democracy is two wolves deciding on what to eat. Freedom is a well armed sheep protesting the vote.
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Offline oboe

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #37 on: October 30, 2004, 08:48:17 AM »
That's a pretty sophisticated view, J_A_B.    Life is more complicated than black and white choices and judgments, as appealling as that simplicity may appear.    Refusal to recognize shades of grey can lead to discord and discomfort, or worse -disaster.    So while I can say its always wrong according the the letter of the law, case by case my judgement may vary.    

Personally I have decided that honor and integrity do not necessarily indicate how effective a political leader will be.   Clinton no doubt behaved in a personally sleazy manner yet I think his leadership style was effective in the Presidency.    Certainly they were my best economic years; the middle classes' situation and prospects seemed better off at the end of his term than at the beginning.    

Closer to home, Jesse Ventura was a one-term governor who won office on a wave of popularity partly due to his celebrity, but also due to his bold, tell-it-like-it-is non-partisan, non-political personality.  Here was a man of honor and integrity, an outsider, who was against all insiders.    After a popular year or two, his critics and the media got the best of him, and his goodwill was spent.   The remainder of his term degenerated into one big catfight between his office, the state legislature, and the media.   It was a shame, but I think it showed he lacked certain qualities  characteristic of effective leaders.

General Sir Douglas Haig of the BEF in WWI may have been a man of integity and honor, but his steadfast leadership in the Battle of the Somme was nothing short of a catastrophe for the British.   He marched his 750,000 troops into the teeth of well-fortified German positions in the summer of 1916 and took 58,000 casualities in the first day alone.    Undeterred, he continued to attack throughtou the next few months.    In the end, the British lost some 420,000 men for 12 measly km of territory.   Here, the ability to objectively look at the situation and change tactics if required could've saved thousands of lives.


Offline Martlet

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #38 on: October 30, 2004, 08:48:35 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Jackal1

  I`m guessing someone did the ole backseat bop with your gal or wife while you were busy doing more important things, huh?

 "Who`s making love to your old lady while you were out making love"



You're an ***.

Offline DieAz

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #39 on: October 30, 2004, 08:58:05 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by GtoRA2
He just lost something after that.


his soul, a part of his soul.

Offline Bodhi

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #40 on: October 30, 2004, 10:01:50 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Steve
Cheat on your wife... ... lack of discipline, ethics, morals, commitment, respect.  People can invent all the rationalization in the world for cheating... to me it's just the prattling of the morally weak.



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Offline Furball

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #41 on: October 30, 2004, 10:06:59 AM »
As a child, my family was split up by my father cheating on my mother when i was about 11.  They still do not speak to one another and i am now 21.

I would NEVER cheat on my wife - should i get married. With my parents divorce i feel like i lost my dad, although he is always there for me if i need him it is never the same if you are not living with them.  He married the woman he had an affair with and they are still together.
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Offline Mark Luper

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #42 on: October 30, 2004, 10:07:47 AM »
I have never "cheated" on my wife of 38 years nor do I intend to ever do so. I made a promise. I intend to keep it. I do beleive however that there are different situations for different people. I beleive something has gone awry with the marriage for it to happen in the first place. I can understand how I could possibly fall into such a situation myself though I never intend to do so at this point in time.

Moraly I beleive it's wrong regardless of the circumstances. We are humans though and weak. I suppose I would have to walk in the shoes of someone who was an adulterer before I felt I could pass judgement on them.
MarkAT

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Offline Lizking

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #43 on: October 30, 2004, 10:13:39 AM »
Adultery, like abortion, is wrong in it's most basic sense.  However, we as a society have made the determination that both are acceptable, so my opinion is that I will never participate in either, and I will base my personal opinions of other people on how they behave in respect to both.

In short, it is not my job to make you be good; it is also not my obligation to hold respect for you, either.

Offline DREDIOCK

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Adultery, no double standard, is it wrong?
« Reply #44 on: October 30, 2004, 10:29:25 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Steve
Cheat on your wife... ... lack of discipline, ethics, morals, commitment, respect.  People can invent all the rationalization in the world for cheating... to me it's just the prattling of the morally weak.


cheating isnt right
But sometimes there are extenuating circumstances
What if your significant other has shut down and stop putting out for months and/or sometimes years at a time?

That also is a violation of commitment and respect.

Personally while I feel cheating in general is wrong, I feel no  sympathy whatsoever for those people  male or female, who have cut their partner off then get upset when that partner cheats.

Its easy to say "just leave the relationship then"
FAR easier to say then do. particularly when there are other considerations to take into account.
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