A couple things to try, just for giggles.
Church.
Major life change (ie. no booze, period).
In my experience, women need proof, or physical demonstrations, of a change of heart. If you can identify one thing you can give up, something so dear to you that it proves that you value your wife more than you value yourself, then giving that thing up can make the difference.
If that one thing is so important that you can't give it up, then you've already made your decision as to what is most important in your life. It may be totally unfair for her to demand that you give up something and make the choice between that and her, but if that's what it takes, then you have a choice to make even if it has nothing to do with any real problem you may have.
Some women need that reassurance, that you'd give up something that is very important to you, for no reason other than she wanted you to give it up. They make false dilemmas that can only be solved by divorce or giving up something you value for no reason other than she wanted you to give it up as a symbolic gesture of your love and devotion. So it's up to you to make the choice, and decide if making that choice will strengthen your bond or create a resentment that will ruin your relationship just as surely as her resentment would if you don't decide in her favor.
Logic has nothing to do with it. It rarely does. Make your choice, either her or your life as you knew it. In my limited experience, only the very rare lucky man gets both.
