Never been the God-fearing kinda guy. Stopped going to church when I was 12 because the priest was a dick. Back before then I'd take some Gi Joes to church and play with them while waiting for the preacher to shut his can and let us leave. Last time I had to go to church I was staying at my Aunt and Uncle's place. I was 14 then, had a portable tape player with Guns 'n' Roses in it I carried everywhere. My Aunt sprung the whole deal on me just after I got outa the crapper. "We're going to church, you better get dressed".....<jaw hits floor>
My two cousins and I went to the Bible-Thumper class for NitWits while the adults went and got blasted with the preacher. At least that's what I think happened; either that or they got brain-washed. <shrug> Matt gave me his spare Bible and told me not to blast G'n'R in the room. So I turned the volume down and used the wonderous ear-piece headphones. All I saw was the leader of this deal point at me. Some old bald guy. I popped one ear piece out and asked the proverbial "Huh? Had my music going and didn't hear you". At which point this ancient fart tried to confiscate my tape player. After a few minutes of discussing the matter he said I could keep it if I read a few passages. No problem!!
I whipped out the label from the tape case and proceeded to read of the Glorious lyrics from Axl Rose. Starting with Welcome to the Jungle, of course. I got about half way through Night Train when he finally got the hint and told me to wait outside. Not a problem!! I listened to my tape for about an hour before I saw the mindless masses going inside the Big Room. Naturally I got stuck next to some crusty old couple who worshipped the preacher's feet. On my other side was my Uncle, who knew too well of my hatred for church. See, we got into it once about the Bible. Him saying it was mostly right with a few goofs. Me saying it was a load of horse toejam that worked perfectly well as a fire starter. After that we agreed to disagree. He had his beliefs, I had mine; twisted beyond words, but I had 'em! He whispered that I could listen to either of my tapes as long as I kept the volume low.
So I waited out 2 hours of a preacher damning me to Hell listening to the screaming melody of Slash and his Les Paul guitar. Haven't been to church since, or my Aunt and Uncle's place either. The entire bible bit I don't like; this version, that version. I sum it up thusly: "Non gratum anun rodentum". Not worth a rat's ass. You believe what you want, I'll do the same, and we won't get into a real nasty fuss over the entire thing. My g/f back when I was 16 tried getting me into a church group. Ended that relationship real fast. Not because I didn't like her, but because I simply believe God is fictional. Made up by some wise-ass in need of a quick buck.
To each their own.
-----------------------
Flakbait [Delta6]
Delta Six's Flight SchoolPut the P-61B in Aces High"With all due respect Chaplian, I don't think God wants to hear from me right now.
I'm gonna go out there and remove one of His creations from this universe.
And when I get back I'm gonna drink a bottle of Scotch like it was Chiggy von
Richthofen's blood and celebrate his death."
Col. McQueen, Space: Above and Beyond