Look, I realize that my reaction may look uppity to some of you guys. But whatever.
Some of the best jokes are rooted in cliches. An Irishman, a nun, and a lawyer walk into a bar... for example.
The problem with this here joke, at least to me, is that the cliche upon which this joke is based is complete BS. But first, lets take another look at the set up:
"You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you."
... wherein the punch line is that a Democrat would be rendered so helpless by some absurd combination of confusion and weakness as to let his family die.
To me, that's not funny. Just stupid.
Where does the very idea of that even come from? How could something like that be accepted as just some slightly humorous but factual characteristic?
Jesus Christ...
Where did this "Weak Democrat" cliche come from in the first place? Seriously - it begs examination. For every tree hugging hippy you cart out, I can raise you two pocket protector sportin' limp wristed gits.
Folks, this crap started 30 years ago. Beginning with Goldwater, maturing with "Card carrying Liberals" under Reagan, continuing with the divisive and hateful language during Gingrich, and culminating in the explosion of total doofuses like Rush, Hannity, and Coulter... and the multitudes like them who prey upon ignorance and base emotion.
The fact is that the chances that a typical American family will become victims of a dagger weilding terrorist in some dark alley is probably as good as being hit by lightening. Three times.
So here's how I see it.
On the one hand, you've got a typical family walking down the street after a dinner out, and in all reality-world likelyhood, making it safely back to their car. On the other hand, you've got this other family whose dad is packin' heat, who also makes it safely back to their car.
If this was a test, who would you say was the Democratic family, and who was the Republican family? Chances are, you said that the family with the gun was the Republican family.
So what special brand of algebra would it take to come up with this "Brave Republicans" crap? How in the world does this make them tough? By what calculation could one use to suggest that they are strong? It's ridiculous.
They are merely scared.
Republicans fear God. Republicans fear immigrants. Republicans fear gays. Republicans fear science. Republicans fear sex. Republicans fear other countries. Republicans fear the law. Republicans fear big government. Republicans fear the lack of big government. Republicans fear education. Republicans fear the media. Republicans fear the liberty and freedom granted by the mother-effin' Constitution of the gawdamned United States of America.
Get your cameras out, 'cause this is the blissful marriage of complete and total marks and complete and total hucksters.
Republicans fear just about any damned thing they don't understand - which is just about everything.
You Democrats? Grow some balls will ya? Every dang "point" (or joke) that these guys try and make is founded upon a reality of their own making. That is to say, not real.
The more you let them get away with this fantasy crap, the more you prove them right.
Sometimes, you just gotta grab the bat and start swinging. Forget about the consequences - it makes you human.
