Author Topic: Red or Blue? (Read 1619 times)

DREDIOCK · « **on:** April 05, 2006, 12:22:45 AM »

Dunno if anyone has posted this before. But I'll toss it out there anyway

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern
> Republican?
> Here is a little test that will help you decide.
>
> The answer can be found by posing the following
> question:
> You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
>
> and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic
> Terrorist with a
> huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with
> you, screams
> obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and
> charges at you.
>
> You are carrying a Glock Cal. 40, and you are an
> expert shot.
> You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
> family.
> What do you do?
>
>
>
_____________________________ _____________________________ ___________
>
> Democrat's Answer:
>
> Well, that's not enough information to answer the
> question!
> Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
> Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
> him to attack?
> Could we run away?
> What does my wife think?
> What about the kids?
> Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
> the knife out
> of his hand?
> What does the law say about this situation?
> Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into
> it?
> Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what
> kind of message does this send to society and to my
> children?
> Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
> Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
> content just to wound me, If I were to grab his
> knees and hold
> on, could my family get away while he was stabbing
> me?
> Should I call 9-1-1?
> Why is this street so deserted?
> We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day
> and make this
> happier, healthier street that would discourage such
> behavior.
> This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
> some friends for
> few days and try to come to a consensus.
>
_____________________________ _____________________________ _________
>
>
> Republican's Answer:
>
> BANG!
>
_____________________________ _____________________________ ____________
>
>
> Southern Republican's Answer:
>
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
> BANG! click...(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG!
> BANG!
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
> Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
> Winchester Silver
> Tips or Hollow Points?
> Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!
> Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

nirvana · « **Reply #1 on:** April 05, 2006, 12:39:31 AM »

It would appear as though i'm a Republican.

Only I said "Blow his freaking head off".

StarOfAfrica2 · « **Reply #2 on:** April 05, 2006, 01:14:07 AM »

Larry the Cable Guy is a Southern Republican?

Nash · « **Reply #3 on:** April 05, 2006, 01:17:51 AM »

Oooh.

Republicans.

Brave Republicans.

Men of action.

"BANG!" say they.

Bonafide Super Heros.

(as played on teh internets)

How is it that most Republicans I meet are snivvely little nerds?

Men whose stuttering broken monosylabic employment of their own language can at best be given an uncormfortable and embarrassed nod.

Brave men whose physical ability is constantly outwitted by their love of fast food?

Warriors who refuse to war.

Keyboard commandos who show up on an internet war game web site to make yet another jab at Democrats for... something....

"Bang!" is a word we used to yell at eachother as kids, playing war.

"Bang!" we'd yell, "You're dead."

And the kid would fall over, "you got me!"

You say:

"Republican's Answer:
>
> BANG!"

Oh man, dammit, you got me. BANG! I'm dead.

Guys like you are kids that never grew up. Guys that suck at the tit of security, tucking their safety blanket up under the corner of their chins, looking to God, Daddy, Mommy, Guns and Government to protect you.

It's pathetic.

There are so many of you little fearers out there that you wound up electing a government that, all they had to do to win your faint hearts over was to say "BANG!" and you all buckled like little girls.

Screw you and your grade two quiz. Makes me wanna puke.

You can either be a good American, or a good Republican, but you can no longer be both.

StarOfAfrica2 · « **Reply #4 on:** April 05, 2006, 01:20:06 AM »

Wow. Somebody peed in HIS Cheerios huh?

cav58d · « **Reply #5 on:** April 05, 2006, 01:21:38 AM »

Peed? More like took a ***** them!

texace · « **Reply #6 on:** April 05, 2006, 02:12:41 AM »

I'd shoot him, but I'm not Republican...

Eagler · « **Reply #7 on:** April 05, 2006, 06:03:07 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Nash
You can either be a good American, or a good Republican, but you can no longer be both.

what are your life experiences about being either?

that's what I thought ...

eagl · « **Reply #8 on:** April 05, 2006, 06:45:53 AM »

I guess that means Nash is in the first category?

Goomba · « **Reply #9 on:** April 05, 2006, 07:03:49 AM »

Whoops! Nash wins the "Overboard Award" for today.

Not to mention being the first one to take a silly joke and turn it into blistering insult. Must be too close to home, or something.

Have a Nice Day

Gunslinger · « **Reply #10 on:** April 05, 2006, 07:24:14 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by StarOfAfrica2
Wow. Somebody peed in HIS Cheerios huh?

His cheerios are perpetually filled with urine.

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #11 on:** April 05, 2006, 07:41:05 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Nash
Oooh.

How is it that most Republicans I meet are snivvely little nerds?

Now Im neither a Republican nor a Democrat.
My feeling has always been if your a die hard party liner your probably also a die hard idiot completely incapable of or too lazy to have an independant thought.
And your above statement from my observations came be just as accurately made for democrates as well.
(This point can be easily made by observing one of the OClubs more recent additions)
Oh and
Canadians too
As you have just proven by one of the more pathetic responces to a JOKE that I've seen in a very VERY long time

lazs2 · « **Reply #12 on:** April 05, 2006, 07:45:28 AM »

of all the people I have met... liberals were the most estrogen charged.... like nash's hissy fit say..

they are most like peta and vegetarians and actors and.... oh wait.... they are nash and peta and vegetarians and actors..

never mind.

lazs

Arlo · « **Reply #13 on:** April 05, 2006, 08:57:31 AM »

Posturing is just whining in disguise.

Nash · « **Reply #14 on:** April 05, 2006, 09:17:19 AM »

Drediock, that "joke" has been posted here in the OC at least eighteen thousand hundred times.

The punchline, that Republicans would shoot someone who attacked their family while Democrats would not, is about as funny as every single, okay the only Republican I've seen with a healthy and intelligent sense of humor. And he aint funny either.

I don't know where you get this idea that Republicans are such men. Honestly - it completely escapes me. The only thing I have to work with is the actions of these guys. Ya know? And it all adds up to bed drenching fear. Every single time.

Your joke sucked. I'm sorry about that.