Originally posted by BlueJ1
If I dont do it I will loose my job. Im on probation for a few months because I am new. The union cannot defend me because of the same reasons. By the time I can be protected I will have already.
here's my hint for employment. take it or leave it, and most people would leave it....
screw unions, screw picking up butts, and screw any employer that wants to fire you.
at your age you pay is going to suck in any job (and probably still at my age, mine would, not far ahead of you). so losing one is only a week of getting some other bread money emploment. don't ever put a value on your employers unless they are close friends or family. anything else and they dont give a toss about you and will walk on you as much as they can.
now if you want to join a company and work for them your whole life to 'climb the ladder' bish bash bosh, lunch meeting at 3.00 etc then you are that company's b1tch as you constantly try to impress and suck up. unless somehow you also really enjoy your work and/or sucking up.
from the word go do as little as possible, take as many breaks as possible, start smoking and drinking coffee as much as possible.
other activities must include;
go for cig break - stand an extra minute longer after - walk in - straight through the whole building with a seriously diligent and busy look about you - walk out the other side - cig break.
can be reapeated and reversed a number of times depending on how many exits the place has.
working in a restaraunt or coffee shop will alway enable you to add - petty theft of confectionary - somewhere in the sequence. bear that in mind.
talk to any female employees, but make sure she understands that you both must look serious like your talking work work work. this will not only waste a few minutes, but will possibly get you laid at the staff party. many girls love a bit of hush hush nod n' wink doubleosevenage. watch out for the prude cow that will smile, then grass you up.
If you work in any factory outlets or warehouses, try to find different uniforms and work gear that can be used as a disguise. you'd be surprised how much purpose can be imitated with a simple flurecant jacket and hard hat. once an alter ego has been aquired, walk through the canteen and into the toilet, change, then walk back. study your co-workers to see who is on the ball and who is a potential hazrd in the workplace. invite this second group to a weekly poker night in your mums basement. drop things on your feet, then calim sick leave. faking a broken limb is more difficult without the aid of a friendly plasterer or triage nurse.
Steal as muh as possible. see that stapler non the desk? well it would look good on any desk, not least of all your home desk. staplers can be usefull. very usefull. other usefull things might include drinking straws, fresh vegetables, postage stamps, rubber bands, wall clocks, nail guns or signs bearing 'danger of death' warnings. dont let oppertunity die to your scrupels. take your chance as if it were a 262 asking to be vulched on takeoff.
Quiting. this is undoubtably the best part of almost all jobs. its like life, the only certainty is death. the only certainty with employment is one day you will stop being employed.
unlike life where the general best option is staying alive, the true reason for being employed is to feel the freedom of quiting again, and not caring that you wont get that same paycheck next month. quit as much as you can. dont feel like getting out of bed? ring in sick. you'll get away with it a few times with no questions. a true profensional will call in sick the perfect number of times in an increasing span of thier intended emplyment, culminating in an explosion of truths and angiush as the employer lays down the law expecting the little puppy to bow wow and say sorry, and the employee gives the finger and walks. if they didnt see it coming then more fool them.
Recognise a worthy job that satisfies you, doesnt earn far more for them than for you, respect a company that is run by a person you respect, and never follow these rules when you find it.
never lower yourself (read: anything not in job discription) under the hierachy of pissants that just want to have power over you.
