Author Topic: *** Joe Republican ****  (Read 1817 times)

Offline crockett

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*** Joe Republican ****
« on: February 08, 2008, 01:36:42 AM »
I had to post this one.. should start a ruckus..

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of Joe's medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. the air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.

Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so the can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the GreatDepression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

After work this evening, Joe plans to visit his father at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

Joe is happy to see his father, who is now retired and lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."
"strafing"

Offline Hap

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2008, 01:45:21 AM »
Well done Crockett.  Yup, you'll get flayed.  Oh well.  It's a shouting match in here anyway.  Good post!

Offline SD67

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2008, 01:48:31 AM »
:lol :rofl :aok
9GIAP VVS RKKA
You're under arrest for violation of the Government knows best act!
Fabricati diem, punc
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Offline FrodeMk3

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2008, 02:13:59 AM »
I'm kinda suprised the first one hasn't showed up yet...

Offline TheDudeDVant

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2008, 02:15:23 AM »
Won't be long now..

Offline rpm

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2008, 02:32:05 AM »
Good God man! You've just described over 1/2 of the O'Club!
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Stay thirsty my friends.

Offline crockett

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2008, 02:34:47 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by TheDudeDVant
Won't be long now..


Go away... 'bating.

:D
"strafing"

Offline Nilsen

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2008, 04:08:52 AM »
:D  Nice post

tap tap tap...

Offline culero

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #8 on: February 08, 2008, 04:34:58 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by crockett
Go away... I'm masturbating.

:D


TMI! :rolleyes:
“Before we're done with them, the Japanese language will be spoken only in Hell!” - Adm. William F. "Bull" Halsey

Offline Joe Republican

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #9 on: February 08, 2008, 05:31:36 AM »
Ah, well... to be honest, I don't "really" think the pinko liberals know whats best for me.

Offline scot12b

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2008, 05:48:16 AM »
Nice :aok

Offline -tronski-

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #11 on: February 08, 2008, 06:05:19 AM »
You forgot the part where while Joe playing with the radio loses control of his car and hits a tree but is saved by the seatbelt some nanny state loving liberal makes him wear - even though he prefers the right to smash his forehead through the front windscreen and kill himself

 Tronsky
God created Arrakis to train the faithful

Offline Shuckins

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #12 on: February 08, 2008, 06:19:31 AM »
I'm confused....I thought Teddy Roosevelt was one of the founders of the modern environmentalist movement.

Offline Thruster

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #13 on: February 08, 2008, 06:41:08 AM »
I guess I'm confused as to how a subway riding union member is characterized as a conservative.

Most of the "conservatives" I know are self employed, self insured and haven't gotten a paid holiday or overtime check since Carter was in office. We hold conventional mortgages, fund our own retirement and have worn seat belts since forever because it makes sense. It helps keep our insurance costs down, among other things.

I guess there are a bunch of "Joe's" out there, I know of one for sure, but that's a different story. Maybe one day I tell the one about "Half Ton & The Ti##y Monster".

On second thought probably not.

Offline Captain Virgil Hilts

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*** Joe Republican ****
« Reply #14 on: February 08, 2008, 06:51:58 AM »
Whew! Nice stink bait.
"I haven't seen Berlin yet, from the ground or the air, and I plan on doing both, BEFORE the war is over."

SaVaGe