I agree with you there Mensa, it sounds like we have the same desire to win, for basically the same reasons. But "desiring to win, but not being devastated when we lose" isn't the same as "I don't care whether I win or lose", which was my original point.
I truly had no intention of riling you, I just saw the words you used to describe your feelings and borrowed them as an example of a common argument. From that post I could have gathered that you didn't care, now it's apparent that you do care, you're just adult enough to handle defeat when it occurs. From that I'd expect you'd be a great opponent and / or teammate.
I often hear complaints from the "I don't care whether I win or lose" crowd when they lose (which would seem to be a contradiction). Generally it has something to do with the fact that they got sent back to the tower in a way that wasn't pleasing to them. If they really didn't care I wouldn't expect their complaints on the BBS or chnl 200 to be so common.
And I really don't have any problems with them doing / flying however they want. I simply don't care what they do. The constant stream of complaints from folks that fly into swarms of enemies, and then complain "I got ganged!" or who get low and slow under enemy planes and complain "I got picked!" gets awful old.
I even heard complaints directed at me last night because I allowed a well-known and accomplished pilot to have a 1v1 with an enemy plane. Heaven forbid! Myself and two squadies were climbing out. Saber was watching TV, I was reading a book, and I'm not sure what Crude was doing. All on auto-climb, at about 8k. Suddenly Saber swore, and exploded (he was higher than Crude and I). The enemy Typhoon dove through and shot Crude as I rolled to the side, taking Crude's vertical stabilizer off and sending him into the ground. I recovered and prepared to fight the Typhoon, only to see this well-known countryman already on his six, about 1.5 out. Saber says " are you killing the "#@^%$" typhoon??" I said "Nah, so and so's on him, and I don't want to gang the Typhoon". I knew who the typhy probably was and out of respect for both pilots, I decided to stay out of it. Well, the "friendly" screwed up, overshot, and got shot down. I gave the typhy about 15 seconds to look around and prepare for me, and then went in from about 5k out. Immediately on chnl 200 as well as on country channel comes a spew of verbal diarhea from my countryman about the running chicken-chit hogs, and comments to the typhy pilot regarding the chicken-chit hog pilots (2 of 3 were shot down already...) who left him high and dry.
How do you win? Had I pressed an attack on the typhoon, I'd have been accused of ganging or ruining a good 1v1 (and I would have agreed). By allowing a "fair" fight, I was a chicken abandoning a countryman (who started in an angles-advantaged state). Had I not dove in on my opponent after he killed the friendly, I'd have been a chicken, running from a lower enemy. By killing him I was a "picker". (To his credit he didn't utter a complaint, although many would have).
Danged if you do, danged if you don't! Anybody else sick of the whining?