So, what do you think?

[OOZ662]

First off, I'd like to first acknowledge that I know this will all blow by in a little while. I'm simply asking about it here to put my mind toward something other than having a screaming fight with her.

Erika (the girl that used to be in my avatar) pulled yet another one today. We've been on and off quite a bit over the last four years, but over that time I thought we had become great friends underneath our relationship.

Within the last few weeks, we were having lots of issues and she decided it was time for a break (as I understood it, some time apart with intent to come back together). Sure, fine. I really don't have issues with her dating other guys any more. I'd probably go see other girls, too. We'd still be good friends.

Today was the day we had to bring all of our books back to school or else miss graduation, and I had still been using them. Quite a bit of weight and it was really hot out, including the fact that I wore rather warm clothes figuring I'd be getting rides like always. Being the knucklehead that I am, I left them on the floor this morning. I asked Erika if I could at least get a ride one way to pick them up and haul them back after school. She said sure, maybe we could go both ways. A period later, she yelled at me down the hall that we'd have to hurry up after school. Next, she interrupts my PreCalculus final to tell me that she's pretty much ditching me. Why? She has "stuff to do." What sort of stuff? Maybe I could ride along just one way and get out of your hair? "Just stuff." She then promptly left before I could reply. Knowing her, that simply means she's picked a new guy. Don't really care. Treating me like a baby and acting like one? Pisses me off. Completely ditching me? Pisses me off.

Now remember, we've been dating a solid two years out of the last 3.5 and have been good friends for the last few months. She later tells me that I have no right to know anything about this person. Now, I figure that as a friend, I ought to at least know who's taking my former place and why she feels that way. Instead, I've simply been knocked to the curb and told I don't have the right. (It makes me wonder if she's actually too embarrassed of him to tell me.)

So, my question. Is it justifiable that I'm so angry at her, or am I being selfish?

[USRanger]

Ooooh just wait til she's a few years older and has learned even more tricks to play with your head & heart.   Trust me, I'm an expert at the whole mind game bit.  My recently ex girlfriend has a degree in head games.  Long story short, she isn't telling you because she knows it will drive you crazy not knowing.  That trick has been around for centuries.  Obviously, if you are bringing it here, it's bothering you even if you say it doesn't.  Your human.  Of course it's gonna drive you bonkers.  Best advice I can give is play the same game.  Make it look like you don't give a damn, even if it's ripping your guts out.  Not getting the reaction out of you that she wants will drive her crazy.  Trust me lil bro, these kind of chitty mind games don't stop with adulthood.  Not by a long shot.  Learn to play the anti-game asap or she'll keep going with it.  For some reason, women love to see their ex's suffer.

Disclaimer:  Sorry to any female that reads this.  It is my personal opinion brought from some really crappy experiences.  I mean no offense to TxMom or any other who reads this.

[trigger2]

Justifiable, clingy it seems, but justifiable.

[FYB]

Wait, are you a girl?

Either way, shes playing with your head. If you're that bothered by what happened, then her game is going straight for her.

-FYB

[OOZ662]

Ooooh just wait til she's a few years older and has learned even more tricks to play with your head & heart.   Trust me, I'm an expert at the whole mind game bit.  My recently ex girlfriend has a degree in head games.  Long story short, she isn't telling you because she knows it will drive you crazy not knowing.  That trick has been around for centuries.  Obviously, if you are bringing it here, it's bothering you even if you say it doesn't.  Your human.  Of course it's gonna drive you bonkers.  Best advice I can give is play the same game.  Make it look like you don't give a damn, even if it's ripping your guts out.  Not getting the reaction out of you that she wants will drive her crazy.  Trust me lil bro, these kind of chitty mind games don't stop with adulthood.  Not by a long shot.  Learn to play the anti-game asap or she'll keep going with it.  For some reason, women love to see their ex's suffer.

Disclaimer:  Sorry to any female that reads this.  It is my personal opinion brought from some really crappy experiences.  I mean no offense to TxMom or any other who reads this.

No, I really don't give a rip if she's off with someone else. I was getting ready to as well. Thing is, I'd have waited past graduation (as Erika and I have to walk together) in order to keep this sort of situation away, then plainly told her who and why later.

My irritation comes from her being so secretive and treating me like a child, then turning around and calling me selfish and childish. Hence coming here and asking.

[OOZ662]

Wait, are you a girl?

No, but I lack life experience, unlike you people. Hence.

[FYB]

Don't worry, I'm only in 7th grade and going to 8th grade this year. Girls have a hardball side to them. You know how "curiosity killed the cat," expression is real common, well, the girl is the curiosity and the guy is the cat. Don't die... 

-FYB

[comet61]

My irritation comes from her being so secretive and treating me like a child, then turning around and calling me selfish and childish.

These are defense tactics. Your inquiries have put her on the defense due to "shame", "embarrassment ", and just plain not knowing what to say or do in this type of situation. This is common behavior during the "transition period". Since it sounds like she left or at least you are both in consensus for the split, then all bets are off. There is no "cheating" or indiscretion because the intimate relationship is over. Those rules are gone. You are upset because she turned so quickly on you and your assumption  that you were "just friends" is misplaced. I do agree that "head-games" can be an issue. Do NOT fall into that pit. Play it cool. Make it look like whatever she does or decides you would care less. As for the "friendship" part...don't hold your breath. She might see you as a threat to her new love interest for the time being. If need be, go your separate ways. See what happens.

Also, your feelings for her are apparent. This will make things difficult. Hang in there. 20 years from now you are gonna laugh at all this.

[Spikes]

Simple way to put it: Don't worry about it, move on. When a girl does something like that to me, and thinks shes getting to me I just laugh it off.

[Treize69]

Beat her about the head and shoulders with a wooden shoe, then go motorboat one of her friends. Always makes me feel better.

[Meatwad]

Honestly I would tell her to shove off


I had something similiar happen to me some time ago. I got fed up with her doing crap like that and told her "bye." Things after that were so much easlier.

At your age, there is definately someone else out there.

[OOZ662]

Honestly I would tell her to shove off

That was my last communication before this post was put up.

Was simply looking for opinions on whether or not I was being selfish somehow. If I was, it'd be noted.

[Lazerr]

Coming from a guy in his early 20's...  No woman is worth the sweat.  Too many ladies out there to let one get ya all bunched up.  Enjoy your youth and your buddies and let that other stuff fall into place later!

[Meatwad]

That was my last communication before this post was put up.

Was simply looking for opinions on whether or not I was being selfish somehow. If I was, it'd be noted.

Nope your not being selfish at all 

[Maverick]

It's over, go find another lady to spend time with and do not ever have anything to do with the girl you were posting about. This ain't the end of the world and is likely to be a GOOD thing once you settle down.